


Distance

by lauraxtennant



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy, post-gitf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2017-12-22 03:24:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 45,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/908324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lauraxtennant/pseuds/lauraxtennant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after GitF. Assumes that the Doctor and Rose were already intimately involved prior to the ordeal in eighteenth century France. Rose decides to leave. The Doctor wants to win her back - but is there more to her departure than his betrayal of her trust?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Taking in a deep breath, Rose hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and walked determinedly through the console room.

Hearing Rose's footsteps, the Doctor looked up from the console screen and frowned in confusion. "Oh, are we staying at your mother's for a bit?"

Rose swallowed hard and turned to face him. "No."

His frown deepened. "Then where are you going?"

"Doctor, I'm going home."

The Doctor smiled nervously. "What do you mean? This is your - "

"No," she interrupted. "I'm going back to Mum's. And I'm staying there."

His smile faded. "What?"

"I can't do this anymore," she murmured, her voice cracking.

"What?"

She exhaled roughly. "Doctor, you hurt me. I can't...I can't stay after what's happened."

"Wait, is this about what happened on the spaceship?"

"It's more about what happened in pre-revolutionary France, to be honest," she corrected him, resisting the urge to tell him to 'get a little perspective.'

"Rose, don't be silly, that didn't — it wasn't - "

"Woah, no. No. You don't get to tell me not to be silly. I'm not being silly. I'm not a child. And in case you're forgetting, you left me — and Mickey — to chase after another woman."

"It wasn't like that! I had to sort out the clockwork robot problem, didn't I?"

"Oh, right. Yeah. Course, how silly of me to assume that we couldn't've worked that problem out together like we usually do. But then usually we're not presented with such a beautiful, accomplished lady to help, are we? So there's the difference, then. Who'd want some classless chav like me in the palace - "

"Rose, stop it. Stop it. You're not making any sense."

"Yes, I am. I am, Doctor. Because normal, decent people who are in a relationship — which, remember, we are — don't go off and shag other people whilst the other is almost getting killed by a clockwork bloody robot!"

His eyes widened in astonishment. "You don't actually think that I — Rose, of course I didn't do that. I would never do that."

"Yeah, well, you wanted to."

"No I didn't." He rolled his eyes in frustration. "Why does everything have to do with that for you humans, eh?"

"Oh, thanks. So what, then? What you had was too special with her to tarnish it with sex? So what it is between us, then, Doctor? Just a cheap little - "

"No! No, no, no. That's not at all what I meant! Stop twisting my words!"

"I'm not twisting your words. Fact is, you went and trapped yourself there with her — and that's fair enough, you had to save her, although why I couldn't come with you I don't understand - "

"Because I trust you, and you're the only one I would trust to look after the TARDIS for me - "

"But you didn't think you'd be able to get back! So me and Mickey would've just been stuck there for god knows how long without any way to get home."

"I would've figured something out, I always do! Anyway, I got back alright, so where's the issue?"

"The issue is that you came back heartbroken, Doctor." Her voice cracked on the word, but she refused to let the tears spill over her eyes. She was too angry to let him see her cry over him.

"No I didn't," he replied, sounding confused.

"Not right away you didn't, but when you went back again, to get Reinette, to bring her back with you so that she could join us, and discovered that it was too late; then you came back with your letter and your sad eyes and you were devastated, don't pretend you weren't. And how do you think that makes me feel, eh? 'Cos on the one hand I want to comfort you because I hate to see you so sad, and on the other, you've gone and fallen for another woman in the space of a few hours and ruined everything we've built together over the last year and a bit."

"Rose, please listen to me. I was sad that she died, yeah, but I didn't fall for her. I let her down and she spent her last years waiting for me, which was needless and stupid and I feel guilty, that's all, I — I..."

She stared at him across the gulf of space between them and sighed sadly. "I know that you feel guilty. But Doctor, it's generally considered bad form for someone to make their girlfriend feel like nothing compared to the extraordinary other woman."

"Girlfriend? Other woman?" he spluttered.

"Yes! Okay, so it's fine if you don't want to label us as that, in silly degrading human terms, but what else do you think we are? Do you not see us as a couple? Is the sex really just sex for you?"

"No, Rose."

"No what? No we're not a couple? No we're not serious? Exclusive?"

"No, the sex isn't just sex. We are all those things, Rose. Of course we are."

"Then you admit that you betrayed me?"

He swallowed hard. "I..."

"I had to watch you act that way with someone else whilst feeling like a nagging wife for merely being confused as to why things had changed between us all of a sudden. You hurt me. Plus, you even kissed her, and who knows what else."

"I promise that there was nothing else."

"You haven't even said you're sorry."

"I am, Rose. I am sorry if I made you feel that way. It was never my intention. I just got all caught up in the events of the day and — and if I betrayed you, then I am sorry."

She stared at him for a moment, then shook her head. "'If.' If if if. Right then. Well. I'll be off." She nodded towards the door.

His eyes almost popped out of his head. "What?"

"I'm leaving now. Don't try to stop me. It's my choice."

He dashed over to her and grabbed her hand desperately. "You said you'd never leave me," he murmured, his voice breaking under the weight of his words.

She turned her head and steadily met his gaze as she shrugged her free shoulder. "People lie. You of all people should know that." And then she snatched her hand away from his and stepped through the TARDIS doors.

He stood absolutely still for a moment, blinking in astonishment at the empty space in front of him. Swallowing hard to stop the bile rising in his throat, his stomach churning in regret, he launched himself into action and barrelled through the doors after her.

She was already at the doors to her Mum's block, so he sprinted over to catch up. She must have heard him coming, but she refused to look behind her or acknowledge his presence. He followed her up the stairs, trying to persuade her to —

"Come back to the TARDIS, Rose. Please? Look, you just have to think about this, and at the moment you're not thinking rationally, you're just — you're reacting, and of course I deserve this but Rose, please, if you just wait, if you just stop and think, you'll see that I can make this right, I can make this up to you, please just let me make this up to you - "

"It's too late, Doctor," she snapped, turning around to face him finally, at the top of the staircase. "It's over and done with and to be honest, I'd've thought you'd be grateful."

"Grateful? Grateful!" he spluttered, suddenly so very angry. "Why in the universe would I be grateful for you leaving!"

Her jaw clenched in frustration and she seethed, "This is what you wanted. So don't you dare — don't you dare try and make it seem as though I'm the one in the wrong. This is all your fault and this is what you want. Don't pretend you suddenly give a shit about our relationship all of a sudden."

He growled in annoyance and closed the distance between them to push her away from the top of the stairs and out on the balcony, in case one of them accidentally tripped over during their row. "You're being unfair, now," he told her, voice low. "There is nothing in the entire cosmos I value as much as our relationship."

"Pfft, spare me that," she laughed, a horribly unnatural kind of chuckle that didn't suit her at all, not when he'd heard her laugh so joyously and so freely in the past.

He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath, then exhaled it roughly. "What, exactly, do I have to do to convince you about how much you mean to me?" He opened his eyes, staring into hers fiercely.

"Nothing," she shrugged, adjusting her grip on her bag. "I shouldn't have to ask you to do anything. Goodbye, Doctor." And then she turned and stalked down the balcony.

Watching her walk away from him, the Doctor's knees gave out in utter shock. "Rose," he called out after her, gripping onto the railing to hoist himself back into a standing position. "Rose!"

She didn't turn around.


	2. Chapter 2

Numb with shock, the Doctor returned to the TARDIS to collect his thoughts and come up with a plan of action vis-à-vis Winning Rose Tyler Back. He was positively certain that if he attempted to go to Jackie's flat, both mother and daughter would not let him in. The only way of seeing Rose and hopefully changing her mind was to wait until she went out, therefore he positioned himself in front of the console screen.

And, trying not to think about the negative connotations of doing so, he watched out for Rose.

::

All night, he sat there gloomily staring at the screen and pondering over a thousand and one ways of making things right. Shortly before Rose had left, Mickey had gone back to his flat to get a few more bits of luggage, but he hadn't yet come back to the TARDIS. The Doctor suspected Rose had called him to let him know that their travels together were apparently over.

It wasn't until eight o'clock the following the morning that he spotted Rose walking across the courtyard outside. He jumped to his feet and stretched his aching muscles, then dashed out of the TARDIS doors.

"Rose!" he called out.

He reckoned she heard him, because she sped up her pace.

"Rose, please," he begged, sprinting over to her. "Please just — can we talk? I need to talk to you. I can't just let this happen, Rose, I…"

"Leave me alone," she muttered.

"Where are you going, anyway?" he asked her in confusion.

"None of your business."

"Please can we just stop and talk for a moment? Or, I dunno…we could get breakfast at that café we like, and - "

"I've already eaten," she mumbled, refusing to look at him.

"Please, Rose - "

"Go away!" she exclaimed, frustrated with him beyond measure.

"Rose, this isn't you," he continued, walking quicker to keep up with her determined stride. "This isn't you at all."

She came to a sudden stop and levelled her scariest Jackie-esque glare at him. "What the hell would you know, eh? How dare you act as though I'm not justified in leaving you after what you did!"

"Oh for goodness' sake - it was just a kiss!" he shouted in frustration, but as soon as the words left his mouth he knew he'd made a grave mistake.

Rose swallowed hard and didn't reply for a long moment, and his hearts sped up in a panic as he feared her next move. When she finally spoke, evidently having waited to compose herself somewhat, her voice was low and definitive.

"If you'd really thought that," she said carefully. "At the time, if you'd really thought that, then you wouldn't have risked everything we have by inviting her with us."

He ached with how much he wanted Rose to come home to him but he could not help himself — he wanted to try to justify his actions. "That's an unreasonable assumption," he answered. "And, quite frankly, an unreasonable request. I invite people along in the TARDIS all the time, Rose. It's what I do. It's the reason why you live there in the first place, and to expect me to just stop inviting people who I think would enjoy a trip - "

"You are completely missing the point, you arrogant prick," she interrupted him. "And that, more than anything, is the reason I've left. You've utterly missed the point, and I don't think I can forgive you for that."

"Then tell me, Rose! Tell me what you want to hear, what you want me to sa-"

"No!" she shouted. "No, I won't, because if you can't figure it all out on your own then there's no way I can stay with you."

"Rose -"

"No," she interrupted swiftly. "No. You're just gonna have to accept that things are over between us, alright?"

"Well, I can't," he replied just as swiftly, staring at her in that Oncoming Storm sort of way as if to dare her to contradict him.

"Tough. Now stop following me and go and find someone else. You're good at that."

This time, when she walked away, he let her go; they'd started to attract a bit of a crowd with their shouting, and he didn't want one of the neighbours calling the police or something if he followed her.

He was absolutely and resolutely not, however, going to go far himself. He was going to go back to the TARDIS again, and the TARDIS was going to stay right where she was.


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor couldn't bear the silence of the console room. He decided to take a walk through the TARDIS to try to clear his head enough to work out his next plan.

He made his way down the corridor, stopping for a few moments outside their room. But he couldn't bear to step inside, not now. He carried on walking, and soon found himself in the kitchen. He put the kettle on, and out of habit pulled two mugs out of the cupboard. He stared at them for a while, then sighed and returned the spotted pink one to its place in the cupboard. He made his tea than sank down into a chair at the table, feeling exhausted.

He couldn't think straight. He needed Rose. He intended to fight for her, for their relationship, but he wasn't good at this, he wasn't human, and he had no idea what the best course of action was, and it left him feeling miserable and drained.

She'd have to come to the TARDIS at some point, he knew that — she hadn't taken all of her things with her, after all. Thus, if she intended to leave him for good, she'd come back and collect the rest of her stuff. Mind you, Mickey had some bits and bobs here too, so maybe she'd just get him to get it all together.

He sighed heavily. Maybe he could come up with some emergency or other, to get her to come here? At least then they'd be able to talk. She probably wouldn't take too kindly to him lying to her, though. So that wouldn't work.

::

Eventually, he acknowledged that he needed some sleep. He didn't think he could face their room, though. He didn't want to see the majority of her stuff gone. But, though he had initially decided to sleep elsewhere, curiosity soon got the better of him and he ended up in their bedroom after all.

Flopping onto the bed, he squeezed his eyes shut for a few moments before resigning himself to the inevitable and opening them again to glance around. Her book was still on her bedside table, but it had been a present from him so that was no surprise. He picked it up — it was quite thick, a small collection comprising of her three favourite novels in one hand-bound book — and read the extensive inscription he'd written on the inside cover just three months earlier.

_Rose,_

_Happy Christmas! I thought I'd scour the depths of a hundred bookshops to find you this. I remember you telling me once that there are plenty of books containing the works of one specific author but it's a shame that you can't make a collection of your personal favourites from different authors, different times. Well here you are! Your very own copy of your favourites - a Dickens, an Austen and a McEwan all in one! Are you impressed? Well of course you are, I'm very impressive. Anyway! I'll sign this off with some wise words from Dr Seuss: the more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go._

_Love,_

_The Doctor_

The Doctor rolled his eyes at himself. He even babbled when he wrote, no wonder she was fed up with him. He did smile a little, though, at the fact he'd written about looking for this in bookshops. He hadn't done so really, and Rose had guessed that straight away. She'd looked up at him with an arched eyebrow and said, "No way did this actually exist. You had this made especially, didn't you?"

And he'd shrugged and she'd grinned and he'd agreed, "One of a kind." And then she'd kissed him on the cheek and told him that she would treasure it forever.

Treasure it forever indeed. Unless she left it behind after leaving him, apparently.

He placed it back on the bedside table and swung his legs over her side of the bed so that he could open the drawer. Empty. She'd taken her diary and her jewellery, then. He stood, and made his way over to the chest of drawers. Sure enough, her ones were vacant. The wardrobe had a few items of clothing still hanging up on her side, but they were ones that she'd obtained from the TARDIS wardrobe. She probably thought that they weren't hers to take. They were.

He only had to glance at the dressing table to see that she'd taken all her make-up and hair brushes. What remained were the bits and bobs they'd picked up from this planet or another — mementos and little ornaments and that lovely snow globe. It appeared as though she wanted nothing that reminded her of their time together.

At that thought he went rigid, his eyes widening in horror as he realised something. Then, he sprinted out of the room, running to the shelf in the library where they kept the four photo albums that showcased their various adventures. They were all there, as he'd suspected, but he opened each one and flicked through just in case she'd —

There. One photo was missing. He knew exactly which one it was, too, and it hit him like a kick in the stomach. She'd taken one that had them both in it, his arm slung casually across her shoulders — only, it wasn't this him, but his previous self. That was all she'd taken to remember him by. A photo of the last him.

He wasn't quite sure why that hurt him more than the idea that she'd taken nothing as a remembrance, but it did.

He put the photo albums back on the shelf, returned to the bedroom, and buried himself under the covers, deciding that a good session of moping and feeling sorry for himself was in order.


	4. Chapter 4

The Doctor woke up with a newfound sense of determination. He'd been asleep for seven hours, and had dreamt of her and him and a happy ever after. And so now he was quite resolute in his belief that he could not let her go, not without begging her to reconsider. He loved her, and whatever she was feeling now, he knew she loved him really. All that was left was to remind her of that, and plead for her forgiveness.

He wasn't even deterred when he knocked on the door to the Tyler flat only to have it slammed back in his face when Jackie opened it. Nor was he deterred when he'd appealed to Jackie as she left the flat to go shopping —

"You stay away from me," she snapped, shouldering her handbag. "I knew you were no good for my daughter the first moment I laid eyes on you!"

"Actually, Jackie, I think if you remember rightly you attempted to seduce me into your bedroom the first time you laid eyes on me -"

"Shut it. Now go away. I won't have you pestering her while I'm out!"

"Jackie, I just want to talk to her. I need to talk to her. I need her, I can't just walk away - "

"Can't you? I thought that was what you were all about. Time travelling alien who can't stand still, that's you, isn't it?"

He sighed heavily. "Jackie. Rose means everything to me and you know that. You've seen us, the way we are together, you know that's how it's meant to be. I can't go away, knowing that she's here, in this flat — I just — please, Jackie. Remember what you said to me a fortnight ago? About how you knew how much I care about her? You were right, Jackie, so right. And if I could just - "

"Doctor," she interrupted firmly. "She doesn't want to see you. I'm sorry, but you've messed up whatever you two had, and now you've got to face the consequences."

"Did she tell you what I did?" he asked tentatively.

"She told me what she thinks you did, yeah," she said, folding her arms. "I mean, I found it hard to believe, to be honest. But asking another woman to come away with you is pretty damning evidence, if you ask me."

The Doctor shook his head. "It wasn't like that. Rose is angry because she thinks there was something between me and Reinette but there wasn't. I promise you, Jackie."

"But you kissed her."

"She kissed me."

"But you didn't pull away."

"…well, no. But it happened so quickly and - "

"And you left Rose and Mickey to run off with her and live a life you said you'd never be able to live with Rose."

"What?"

"The slow path sort of life. You wouldn't do that for Rose."

He looked at her in confusion. "I never said that."

"It's implied by everything you have said. You told me, even — you said that you'd never be able to give Rose a normal life, a normal relationship."

"She doesn't want a normal life!"

"But if she did. Would you give it all up? Space and time — the stars? Would you give all that up to live a life by her side on Earth, if that's what she wanted, if that's what was needed?"

"I…"

"Exactly. Your TARDIS means too much to you to give it up for Rose."

"No, wait - "

"And Rose knows that. She'd never make you choose. So can you imagine how she must feel, knowing that you were willing to risk never getting the TARDIS back, all for Reinette?"

"That's — that's not how it was at all! I had to go through the mirror or she would've died, and - "

"She knows all that; but you didn't take Rose with you."

"She needed to look after the TARDIS, and Mickey, and it was a spur-of-the-moment decision, I couldn't - "

"Rose loved you. She thought you and her was everything she'd ever need. But you kept pushing her away, even after you started being together properly. And then to top it all off you were prepared to live a normal life with another woman, something you've never considered doing with her. Is it any wonder that she's feeling insecure?"

"I can assure you, Jackie, that nothing, nothing happened between Reinette and me. It isn't how it seems from what Rose has told you - "

"I don't seriously think you had sex with this French woman, whoever she is, Doctor. And I think that deep down Rose knows that, too. But I do believe my daughter when she looks at me with tears in her eyes and says that her good-for-nothing alien boyfriend somehow managed to fall for someone else in the space of five minutes. Oh, and another thing! She also told me that you saw this posh woman as a child, first. What are you, some sort of pervert?"

"Woah, woah, hang on, hold it right there - "

"I've got nothing more to say," Jackie shrugged. "Now if you don't mind, I've got shopping to do."

"Jackie, I didn't fall for her, for Rassilon's sake," he called after her as she walked down the hall towards the stairs. "I didn't! How could I when I'm head over heels for your bloody daughter!"

Jackie half-turned and even from the distance between them the Doctor could tell she had her eyebrows raised. "You've never bloody told her that, though, have you?" she remarked knowingly, before hurrying off.

The Doctor stood there, a lump in his throat.

What a fool he had been. What a damned fool.

::

He stood outside the Tylers' front door for another two hours. Which was bordering on harassment, he knew, and he felt bad about it; but he wasn't actually doing anything or harming anyone. He was just standing outside, waiting for Rose to come out for whatever reason, so that he could try to talk to her. Jackie hadn't returned yet, and he knew that Rose was inside. All he had to have was patience.

Which was a bit difficult, he had to admit, seeing as he was rocking back and forth impatiently in a failed attempt to stand still.

Suddenly, the door opened. He blinked in surprise.

"What?" Rose said, glaring at him.

"What?" he repeated dumbly.

She rolled her eyes. "You've been out here for a couple of hours. Next door rang to ask if you'd forgotten your key. Stop confusing my neighbours and go away."

"Sorry, Rose, but I just — I just need -"

"What are you even doing?" she asked him wearily, repeatedly tucking her hair behind her ear in the persistent breeze.

"Well. I'm waiting," he answered, in a tone of voice that said it should be obvious.

"For what?"

"You to come to your senses."

"Doctor," she sighed, folding her arms. "How many more times do I have to say this before you get it past that thick Time Lord skull of yours? I'm staying here. With Mum. On Earth. So go back to the TARDIS and just fly away, yeah?"

"No. I'm not running away from this any more. I refuse to give up on us."

The expression that came upon her face in that moment was one of pity, and he hated it. "Then you're more daft than I thought you were," she said softly. He opened his mouth to reply but she just muttered a quick, "Goodbye, Doctor," and closed the door on his face.

He sighed heavily and leant his forehead against the wood, hardly able to believe they'd come to this. Either side of a door and no hope of reconciliation.


	5. Chapter 5

Two weeks and eight failed conversations later, the TARDIS was still parked in the same place. The Doctor could equal Rose's stubbornness any day, and had taken it upon himself to stick around in case she changed her mind. One morning, as he pottered around the console room, he caught sight of Rose walking across the courtyard towards the flats on the console screen.

He went outside and casually leaned against the TARDIS so that she'd have to acknowledge him as she passed.

"Doctor, this is getting ridiculous," she told him firmly, once she'd reached him. "It's been days. She hates staying in one place, and so do you, so take the TARDIS back to the stars, yeah? You have things to see, people to save, and you can't just abandon the universe and your last of the Time Lord responsibilities to hang about here stalking me all day. It's starting to freak me out a bit."

"I entirely resent the implication that I am _stalking_ you."

"Well you are."

"I'm merely trying to prove a point."

She sighed. "And what point would that be?"

"That I can stand still. That I can hang around on Earth for indefinite periods of time without going mad. That I can and will do this for as long as it takes for you to see that I still and _will always_ love you."

Rose blinked at him silently for a few moments. "You have to go," she whispered, her voice smaller and more vulnerable than he'd ever heard it.

His brow furrowed in confusion. "Rose...?" he asked slowly.

"What?" she exhaled roughly.

"Something's not right," he said, squinting at her.

"What?" she repeated, apparently baffled.

"All this time, there's been...there's been something else, hasn't there? Something's happened. What is it?"

"I don't know what you are talking about," she answered, eyes wide and conveying innocence.

"I know that you hated me for what I did and I know that what I did was wrong," he said carefully. "But I also know that you would have forgiven me for it by now, because you still love me."

"Don't flatter yourself too much, Doctor," she mumbled, her eyes dropping to the floor.

He raised his hand to her chin to bring her head up to look at him properly again. "Tell me. What is it you're hiding? Why are you really so certain that things can never be the same between us?"

"Because they can't," she insisted. She looked so astoundingly sad in that moment that he stared at her in bafflement, then instinctively pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back with one hand and cradling her head with his other.

"Hey," he said softly, "What is it, Rose? What's wrong?"

She gripped his lapels and pushed herself back from him, shrugging out of his hold. "I can't," she murmured. "I can't, I just..." She bit her lip anxiously, unable to meet his eye, then let go, dashing away from him.

The Doctor was now thoroughly confused, and was not about to let her move away from him again. He needed to know the truth. He practically chased her up the stairs and caught up with her as she fumbled with her keys to unlock the door to the flat. Seeing her struggling, he gently took the keys from her and unlocked the door, placing a hand on her back to guide her inside and following her in. To his relief, she didn't refuse him entry, just collapsed in a weary heap on the sofa and barely flinched when he sat down beside her.

"I can't tell you," she whispered. "I just can't."

"Why not?" he persisted. "Rose? I'm sorry, I just — Rose, tell me. What is it?"

"You won't want to stay, and you won't want me to come with you, you just won't. And even if you did, how could I ever be sure that this was really what you wanted, how could I be sure that you wouldn't just drop us off somewhere and expect us to get on with life without you? What if you got bored again, or found someone better again, got distracted and just...abandoned..." she broke off, unable to continue. She ran a hand through her hair tiredly.

"Remember I once called you the best? Yeah, that hasn't changed, Rose Tyler. How could I ever get bored of — hold on." He froze suddenly. "Did you say, 'us?'"

Rose sighed. "Okay, so I think I need to show you something." She stood up and folded her arms across her chest in a protective gesture. "At least this'll force you to accept once and for all that things have changed, that both of us have to move on." She nodded towards the hallway. "Come with me a second."

He followed her with a furrowed brow and heavy hearts, and watched her open her bedroom door. They stepped inside her room and Rose told him to sit down.

"Wait here," she said, as she rummaged in her chest of drawers for something. He couldn't see what it was when she found it, for she tucked it beneath her jumper quickly and dashed out of her room.

He ran a hand over his tired face and jumped through the possibilities in his mind. He wasn't completely stupid. One possibility was blaring out at him with more plausibility than the rest, but surely, surely she couldn't be. Surely it wasn't a possibility, because although by her words and her actions it sort of made sense, how could it have even happened? He was a Time Lord and she was a human and it just — he wasn't supposed to have this. He wasn't supposed to be able to, and what if it went wrong, what if her physiology couldn't cope with it and wait, why the hell hadn't she told him about this as soon as she'd found out? This could be dangerous, he needed to research and do tests and —

Oh.

Another thought hit him abruptly. He swallowed. The idea that she might be...blimey…with someone else's, someone who wasn't him, it — oh Rassilon, it hurt more than he would ever have imagined it would.

Just in case it had any bearing whatsoever on what she was about to tell him, he prayed to all the gods that he didn't believe in that if she was what he thought she was, then the reason was absolutely and positively partly his fault.

"I thought that showing you might be easier than telling you," Rose murmured, leaning against the doorframe. He glanced up at her as she spoke, his hearts beating a painfully fast dance inside his chest. She brought her hands out from behind her back, and showed him what she had been hiding; his hearts jolted in syncopated rhythm. "I got quite a few, 'cos - " her voice was as shaky as her hands and she breathed out slowly before continuing, "'Cos I wanted to be absolutely certain." Then she chuckled slightly. "Once I'd done five I thought I'd not bother with another. It seemed pretty conclusive. Anyway, here it is."

The Doctor held out his hand palm up; she placed the white stick on it carefully and held her breath for his reaction.

He stared at it. The two blue lines that represented something which changed everything. Then, he sensed that she hadn't taken a breath for a while, and jumped up with a sudden movement. "Rose, breathe," he murmured, placing his free hand on her shoulder. They met each other's eye as she let out a long breath. He was silent again and he saw panic flash through her eyes when he briefly glanced at her bedroom door.

"Say something," she whispered. "Please. Say something, before you just leave."

The corner of his mouth turned up slightly, a sad sort of smile. "I don't really know what to say," he admitted. "I have all these questions, but I can't — they just sort of get lodged in my throat and I — Rose, how far along?"

"Fourteen weeks."

"You've had a scan, then."

"Yes. A while ago."

"And..."

"I thought that it'd be safe to," she said. "Seeing as it was really early on. They just figured that the two heartbeats meant twins." She laughed briefly, sadly. "Idiots."

The Doctor let out a whoosh of breath and sat back down on the bed, his knees buckling somewhat under the casual confirmation that the baby was indeed his. Rose shifted from foot to foot restlessly.

"Did you know, before you left?"

"Yeah. Well, I hadn't had the scan then, but I'd taken the tests and it just...felt like I was. It's weird, I can't explain it, I just kind of knew."

"Is this why you left?" he asked next, his throat tightening with emotion.

"I left because if you could become infatuated with another woman, a brilliant, clever, accomplished, beautiful woman, within five minutes of knowing her then there was no chance that you'd stick around and play domestic for me and a baby. A baby isn't compatible with your life, I knew that, but Reinette confirmed that maybe I wasn't so compatible with your life either."

"Rose." He put the pregnancy test to one side and stood up again, taking hold of her hands. Blinking back tears, he murmured, "I never thought that this would happen."

"I know," she whispered back. "And it's not your fault that you can't do this, it's just a fact. A fact I've come to terms with."

"No, wait, you didn't — you didn't let me finish."

"Doctor, I can do this. I'm not getting rid of it. I thought about it at first, but - but I've got Mum, and my friends, and I can do this alone; it's not like I'm gonna be the first person to be a single parent on this estate - in this flat, even."

"No, but you're the first one to be pregnant with my child, Rose."

"You must have friends who'd help me out during the pregnancy — that UNIT place you were talking about, surely they'd help me hide the Gallifreyan-ness of the baby from the authorities or whatever - "

"First things first, yes I have friends there but you aren't going anywhere near UNIT. They've got guns and you will not put yourself or this baby around guns, Rose, okay? Secondly, obviously it's part-human but you can't simply hide the fact that our baby will have two hearts and a far superior mind than those of its contemporaries. Thirdly, why are we even talking about this in such a way? You're not going through this alone, Rose Tyler."

"Doctor - "

"Let's go back to the TARDIS," he interrupted her. "I can run a few tests and things..." he trailed off, noting her expression. "What?"

"You're worried. What is it? I get that it's gonna be a bit...well, it's not exactly gonna be plain-sailing, I get that, but...is it gonna be really dangerous, me carrying this baby?"

He scratched at the back of his neck awkwardly. "Honestly, Rose, I've no idea. That's why you need to come home with me so we can clear some things up. Like how long you'll be pregnant for, for example. And how your body will adapt to a part-Gallifreyan baby growing inside of it."

"Right," she sighed, nodding. "Right."


	6. Chapter 6

Once they were inside the TARDIS, they went straight to the infirmary.

"I'm not impressed, you know," he murmured suddenly, as he was rummaging around in cupboards for the devices he would need to run some tests. He couldn't find the transducer probe that he needed to hook up to the ultrasound machine, and he was getting impatient. His anxiety over Rose's safety was making somersaults twist and turn inside his stomach.

"What?"

"You. Keeping this from me. It could be dangerous, and it was stupid of you to not tell me straight away."

"Oh, don't give me that," Rose exclaimed. "If you really cared then you - "

"What?" he demanded. "What would I have done? Well, I would have stayed on Earth and waited for you. Oh, hold on, yes: I did."

"No, you wouldn't have been such a prick in the first place," she huffed, crossing her arms.

"Oh that's mature," he scoffed, and emptied out a cabinet in frustration. "Where is this bloody thing…"

"Don't you dare try and turn the blame on me," Rose said next. "You were the one who went off with someone else."

He ran a hand through his hair, sighing in exasperation. "I've said I'm sorry. I don't know what else I can do. But the fact is, you being pregnant and not telling me, that was — it was — it was irresponsible, Rose, and - "

"It was irresponsible of you to not fucking tell me I could get pregnant in the first place!" she shouted.

He straightened up in surprise, temporarily abandoning his quest. "What?" he whispered.

She exhaled roughly and sat down on the infirmary bed. "You said we didn't need to worry about protection. And I believed you. Any other man, and I would've been out of there like a shot after a line like that, but you — I trusted you! I thought you were the more knowledgeable one about this. So I believed you." She shook her head at herself. "And now look what's happened."

The Doctor looked to the floor, swallowing hard. "You don't want it, do you," he realised quietly.

Rose said nothing.

He looked up at her and saw that for the first time today, she actually looked like she would burst into tears at any moment. She'd been so strong, even in her fear of what he would say, but now…

"Rose," he said, voice strained, as he came over to stand in front of her. "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I didn't know…I didn't think this could happen for us. I would never have lied to you about something like that, I genuinely didn't think this would be possible. At all. Ever."

Rose hastily wiped at her eyes and lifted her chin defiantly. "We still should've been more careful, just in case."

"I know that now," he murmured. "I just…Rose, on Gallifrey we didn't even reproduce this way anymore."

She frowned in confusion. "Then how…?"

"There was this process called the Looms and — well, I don't want to get into the scientific details right now but basically it was all done via the test tube. We had biological parents, but we didn't develop in our mother's wombs like you lot do. Not for centuries. So…this is a big shock, really. I didn't even think I was, you know, fertile."

"Blimey," she said. "Right. Well."

He let out a long breath and closed his eyes as he asked, "Would you prefer - " He cut off, swallowing convulsively.

"Prefer what?"

His eyes flickered open. "Do you want an abortion?"

Rose breath caught in her throat. They stared at each other in silence for a few moments. And then, she gently shook her head from side to side. "No," she whispered.

"You're sure?" he whispered back.

"I've thought it through," she explained. "I...I'd already decided that I wanted to keep it."

"Okay."

"Do you, though?"

"Do I what?"

"Do you want me to get rid of it?"

He winced at her phrasing, but was firm in his answer. "No, I don't."

"Really?" She sounded dubious.

"I know it happened by accident, and I know the timing is all wrong, and I know that you might think that I'm not capable of being what this child needs," he murmured, looking at the floor. "But it's - it's something special and a bit - a bit fantastic, really. That we made something, something that means that I'm maybe not quite the last, anymore."

Rose couldn't find the right words to respond to that, so she just nodded. And then something occurred to her. "Oh."

"What's wrong?"

"Um." She bit her lip, gathering her thoughts. "I just - I was just wondering. If, when you do the tests, if it seems like to carry this baby would, you know, put me in danger, would you risk it?"

His eyebrows rose, taken aback. "No. Your safety comes first. I would never willingly jeopardise that, not for a baby, not for anything. I would always choose you over a possibility."

The sincere meaning in his words was not lost on Rose, and she managed to offer him a small smile in return. She tried to lighten the conversation a little. "So, I take it you haven't got any other Earth-girls pregnant, then?"

He chuckled despite the situation. "No, Rose. Only you."

"Oh," she smiled slightly. "I feel special."

"You are special," he replied insistently. "Now let's get these tests sorted to put our minds at rest." He turned around again and busied himself with finding the transducer.

Again, Rose bit her lip worriedly. "You know this doesn't change things, right? Me and you, we're not..."

He looked back over at her in surprise. "What?"

"We're not getting back together. You know that, yeah?"

The Doctor scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Oh, right, well. If that's...are you sure? Don't you think it'd be nice for us to go back to - "

"No."

"But -"

"Doctor."

"Oh."

"You can be in this baby's life, but I'm not getting back together with you just because of it."

"But you left because of it in the first place."

"Um, no, Doctor. That was just part of the reason, remember?"

"Rose, I'm completely committed to you. You don't have to worry about anyone else, ever, all right? I'd've thought I'd proved to you by now just how much I need you."

"You don't get the easy way out or the reward or whatever just by being persistent, Doctor."

"But when you say that we're not getting back together, you just mean for now, until you're ready? Because I'll wait as long as it takes for you to be ready to forgive me and love me again."

"Doctor..."

"Yeah?"

"I think we should just concentrate on the baby for now. I don't want to keep talking about everything that's happened. The baby's what's important. And you know, us getting to be friends again. The other stuff's just not...I can't deal with all this at once."

"Right. Baby. Friends. Yes. I can do that."

"Good."


	7. Chapter 7

He finally found the transducer and then began setting up the ultrasound machine for a few moments. Rose lay down, and lifted her top to expose her belly, and he soon placed the scanner there. She shivered. "Bit cold."

"Sorry," he murmured apologetically. He moved the transducer across her belly, and when the machine picked up the baby's heartbeat, he met Rose's gaze and smiled. "There we go." He looked back at the screen, squinting as he assessed the basics. "Everything seems to be fine so far," he told her. "Probably best not to travel in the TARDIS whilst you're pregnant, though, as I'm not too certain about what exposure to the vortex would do to the foetus too early on, over a long period of time. Anyway, you're right about how far along you are. Fourteen weeks. Baby looks like its developing a little slower than a fully human foetus, but that's to be expected, really, considering Gallifreyans took longer to develop in the Looms, what with the triple helix and everything. Can't tell yet how you or how me it is, but I predict that seeing as my genes are more dominant, and the fact that two hearts are developing, the baby will probably have telepathic tendencies. As an adult, I can only do the telepathy thing whilst touching someone, but whilst the baby's brain is still in the process of being developed, it might reach out to your mind. How would you feel if it tried to connect like that?"

Rose shrugged. "What will it feel like, in my head?"

"Just a tickle," he answered carefully. "But it really would be beneficial for you to form that connection, or else the baby will feel…"

"What?"

He coughed uncomfortably but eventually met her eyes to respond, "Well, lonely."

"Oh. Okay. So is it like a telepathic bond, then?"

"Yes. That's it exactly."

"Will I be able to do it, though? I mean, I want to, but I'm not exactly telepathic myself."

"I reckon you've got enough of a low level telepathic capacity to cope with it. You probably won't feel it all the time; I'd imagine that would be quite draining. But anyway, that's not likely to happen yet. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, I just thought I ought to warn you so that you'd not be alarmed by it if it happens suddenly." She arched an eyebrow wryly and he cleared his throat. "I'm trying to get better at this thinking-ahead-about-the-possibilities thing, you see."

"Thank you," she murmured earnestly.

He removed the transducer and printed off a copy of the scan, placing it on the table beside the bed. He was just about to ask her if she'd mind him running a few more tests, when she started speaking. And once she'd started, she couldn't stop, and he listened to her patiently, knowing she needed to get something off her chest.

"Doctor, I want to tell you something. When I left, I wasn't sure what I was gonna do about this. Part of me wanted to keep it, to do what Mum did and bring it up by myself. But then, I knew how hard it was going to be, and I…I wasn't sure. I'm so young, and I didn't feel ready. It was unexpected and unwanted and I kept thinking that maybe the best thing for me to do was to get rid of the problem completely." She closed her eyes and fiddled with the hem of her t-shirt. "But then I went for a scan, and I heard the two hearts and I knew, then, in that moment, that I wanted to try. It was part of the only Time Lord left in existence and I couldn't - " she broke off, steadying her breathing.

Opening her eyes and sitting up, she continued, "I thought that maybe one day, when it was old enough, I could tell it about you and maybe it would inspire them to do what we did. Stand up and do what's right, and all that. I…I don't know. But now I know I want to give this raising a baby thing a chance. It's gonna be hard and everything, but I think — I think I'm strong enough. I mean, you think it's safe right? From the scan, nothing seems wrong? My body's adapting to it fine, yeah?"

He nodded. "So far, so good," he said gently. "I'll run a few more tests and things, to check your vitals, but right now you seem to be the picture of health, and so does the baby."

"Okay. Good." She nodded. "Then that's fine. I can do this. Whether you stick around or not, I can do this."

"Rose," he whispered, taking her hand in his. She didn't let him keep it, though, and instead lifted it out of his hold to stroke her hair behind her ear. He swallowed against the lump in his throat. "Rose," he said again, insistently. "I - I love you. I'll stick around as much as you want. Please don't let me lose you."

She sighed and shifted so that she was facing him, her legs dangling off the side of the infirmary bed. "I can't travel in the TARDIS while I'm pregnant, you said it might affect the development of the foetus?"

He nodded. "Possibly, yes. It's best not to take the risk."

"Then I'm going to go back to Mum's, and you can leave and come back after the nine months are up, or however long it's going to take, if you want. I know how impatient you are."

"What? No! I'm not missing out on the pregnancy. You might need me. And I'll want to run more tests to make sure everything's progressing as it should. You seem to forget that it's not a completely human baby in there, Rose; no ordinary hospital is going to do for you. Anything could happen. I need to be able to get to you quickly if your body suddenly can't cope with the changes its going to have to accommodate for the baby. So stop being silly, and let me stay with you."

She shook her head. "I think we just need a break, Doctor."

"Rose, I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I'm sorry before you believe it, but I'm going to keep saying it until you do - "

"I know you're sorry. I know that. But you still did what you did, you still..."

"I didn't sleep with her," he said firmly.

"I...I believe you."

"I will never betray you."

She sighed. "You say that now."

The Doctor emitted a sound of frustration. "Rose, I'm being serious - "

She met his gaze fiercely. "So am I. You can be nearby, but I can't go back to the way things were before, not yet."

"But - "

"I've got myself a new job. Once I've saved up enough for a deposit on the rent, I'm gonna get me and the baby somewhere of our own. It'd be too cramped at Mum's once it's born."

"I can give you money for a house," he said softly.

"No."

"Rose, don't be so stubborn!"

"I'll not have you stealing money from cashpoints just to -"

He rolled his eyes and interrupted her, "I've got a bank account that's been accruing interest for decades. We have plenty of money, you don't need to worry about that."

"But Doctor -"

"This is my child too," he pointed out. "You go house-hunting and pick somewhere nice and I'll sort it. All right?"

"Fine," she sighed, relenting. She met his eyes, then, and added, "Thank you."

He was silent for a minute. Quietly, hesitantly, he asked, "Are you sure you don't want me to live with you?"

"Doctor."

"I'm just asking."

"You wouldn't be able to survive in a house for too long anyway, stop kidding yourself."

His jaw clenched angrily and he stood up, moving away from her. He went over to a cabinet and got out another piece of medical technology. "I'm going to test your blood now, if that's all right," he muttered.

"Okay."

He came back over and placed a pad on her forearm. "It's not invasive, don't worry," he assured her. The scanner picked up what it wanted and he removed the pad swiftly, before setting the device aside to allow it time to analyse the results.

"Blimey, that's much better than getting out a syringe," Rose remarked.

He smiled tightly. "Just one of the reasons why it would be best for me to stay with you."

Rose huffed. "Look, I didn't say you couldn't visit. You can visit all you like. You can park the TARDIS in the garden for all I care. I just think that a bit of space would do us good."

His smile softened. "I can live in the TARDIS in the garden?" he asked hopefully. "You wouldn't mind that?"

She shrugged. "I s'pose. And you could go off and do the whole responsible Time Lord in charge of keeping the universe in order thing and then come back when you wanted." She paused, letting that idea turn over in both their minds. And then she added, "Providing you'll be able to get the time coordinates right for once, that is."


	8. Chapter 8

Seven weeks later, Rose had found and moved into the perfect house for her and the baby. It was a semi-detached, three bedroom property with a front and back garden and a gorgeous kitchen. She loved it, and it was only a half hour walk to her mum's, and a five minute walk to the local shops, so its location was convenient, too.

She was coming to the end of her fifth month of pregnancy, and was already showing quite prominently. Jackie, Mickey and the Doctor had helped her redecorate the living room in her first week of living there, and the place was looking brilliant, if she did say so herself. She'd never dreamed she'd live in such a lovely little house.

Keeping to her word, Rose had allowed the Doctor to park the TARDIS amongst the aptly placed rose bushes in the back garden. He didn't stay there permanently, for he conceded to Rose's point that he'd left the universe to fend for itself for rather too long as it was, so he popped back and forth between his life in the stars and his life on Earth.

It was easier than he thought it would be, combining both the relatively domestic — relatively because he didn't actually live in the house with her, and she barely let him help her around the house when he did get invited in — and the saving planets thing. He could tell, however, that Rose was jealous of his trips into space; she really, really missed the travelling, and would get him to tell her all about his adventures when he saw her.

He was allowed to visit every few days or so. Rose thought that this was the appropriate amount of time; the Doctor rather disagreed, thinking there was enough distance between them as it was, but he did as she asked. He missed her tremendously, of course, and he hoped that Rose missed him too, despite her never saying so. On his visits, he tended to stay until she told him to leave, which was, occasionally, not until quite late in the evening. He ran tests to check everything was progressing healthily with regards to her and the baby, they had lunch and chatted about what they'd both been up to, and then in the afternoons they'd go for a walk, or go shopping for things for both the house and their future addition to the makeshift Tyler family.

The job that Rose had told him she had acquired several weeks ago was one that she could do from home — typing up reports and articles for a local private investigator. The Doctor found this very intriguing, and often tried to snoop at what she was writing on her new laptop, but she insisted that it was confidential and he had to keep his nose out. Until one day, when something changed.

The Doctor had just sonicked his way into the house when he heard Rose calling his name. He immediately panicked, and ran so quickly into the living room that he knocked over the hall table. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Rose looked sheepish. "Oh, I'm fine, sorry. No, it's just that I've got something that you might be interested in checking out." She patted the sofa and he came to sit down next to her. "Take a look at this." She handed him her laptop and the accompanying notes to whichever investigation she was typing about.

"I thought I wasn't allowed to look at this sort of thing? Confidential, you said."

"Yeah, well, you're gonna want to see this," she said knowingly. "Just read it! I'll go and stick the kettle on."

The Doctor shrugged and started reading the file. His eyes widened. "Oh, no. Not again."

A few minutes later, Rose returned with their tea. "So? Interesting, eh?"

"Mmm," he murmured, and sipped at his drink.

"So, who's L.I.N.D.A? And why is my boss investigating them? And why are they investigating you?"

"They are investigating you, too. I'm surprised that your boss didn't have something to say about that."

"He did."

"Oh?"

"He handed me the file and said, 'I know who you are now. I knew there was something odd about you.' What a charmer."

"The plot thickens," the Doctor mused.

"Anyway, you know who these L.I.N.D.A people are?"

"Yep. They're my fan club."

Rose spluttered her tea. "Your what?"

"My fan club."

She burst out laughing. "You have a fan club," she stated, amused. "Should've known."

"Yes, well, anyway, this Victor Kennedy bloke looks a bit suspicious, don't you think? He's appeared out of nowhere."

"Exactly. What do you reckon? He just some random guy or has he got sinister motives?" Rose asked, her eyes lighting up.

"You needn't look so enthused by the idea," the Doctor chuckled, though of course, he was delighted that Rose was so intrigued.

"Well, we could go check it out, and - "

"No," he said firmly, interrupting her. "He looks shifty. I'm not having you go anywhere near him."

"Doctor!" she groaned. "I'm so bored. Please let me come with you."

"You can't travel in the TARDIS - "

"We can get a cab!"

"No."

"Doctor, look, if they are just your fan club - "

"Except that with the sudden appearance of this man, they don't appear to be harmless anymore. Look at these photos, Rose. Your boss has been watching them watch you. And look, here's your mother! You really think that there's no danger here, when they've been trying to hunt me down through you and your family?"

"Okay, fine, I know that it could be dangerous. But that's the point! I'm bored with just sitting around waiting. I need to do something, and I need to help you in case you end up getting hurt."

"Rose, you can't possibly think it's a good idea. What if something happens to you or the baby? We'd never forgive ourselves. No. It's better if I check this out on my own."

"But you wouldn't have known about it if it wasn't for me -"

He rolled his eyes and stood up. "Then thank you for the tip-off. I'll sort this. They won't be coming near our family again, all right?" And with that, he strode from the room, ignoring Rose's shouts of protest.

::

That night, just as Rose got into bed, she heard the front door open. Groaning in annoyance, she stood up and walked out onto the landing, about to call out a greeting to the Doctor and demand him to tell her what he'd found out.

Except that it wasn't the Doctor in the hallway. Rose stifled a gasp and quickly retreated to her room, keeping her footsteps soft so as not to alert the intruder to her whereabouts. Two opposing instincts warred within her; the instinct to confront the stranger lost out to the instinct to protect her unborn child. She reached for her mobile, and dialled the number of the phone Rose had made the Doctor carry around with him in case of emergencies.

"Hello, Rose," the Doctor answered cheerfully on the other end of the phone. "Guess what, I found out that — wait, what's wrong? Is something wrong? What's happened?"

"Shh, just listen," Rose whispered. "You need to get to the house quickly. Someone's broken in downstairs."

"What! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm in my room."

"Okay, right, stay there, I'm on my way — are you ringing from the same day as when I left earlier to find out about L.I.N.D.A?"

"Yes."

"Okay, good. I'm still here, so it's the same time for me. I'll be as quick as I can. Don't go downstairs."

He hung up, and Rose tossed the phone onto the bed and crept over to the door and onto the landing again, peeking through the banisters to see if she could see or hear anything.

There was a rustling sound followed by a pile of washing being knocked over. Rose knew this because she heard the man mutter and curse about it being the second time that day that he'd had knickers waved in his face. She arched an eyebrow, bemused. Then she heard the man repeating, "God, I hate this. I hate this I hate this I hate this. This is so wrong. I hate him, I hate this, ouch — bugger — stupid bloody coffee table."

Rose stifled a giggle. He sounded like the most incompetent burglar ever. And she suspected he was a member of L.I.N.D.A, because she caught a better sight of him when he stumbled back into the hallway; he resembled a man in one of the pictures her boss had given her. Blond and normal-looking. Harmless. Rose decided to go downstairs.

"Ahem," she coughed pointedly, as she found him rifling through her hallway table, where she kept her bills and other bits of post and things.

The man spun around and stared at her with wide eyes. "Oh! I'm — that is — I'm — I'm not - " he stammered. Then he sighed, heavily. "I'm sorry."

"I know who you are," Rose said quietly, lingering on the bottom step of the stairs. "Your name's Elton. You've been stalking me and my mother, taking photos. Why?"

He winced. "Me and some people — my friends — we had this club thing designated to talking about the Doctor. But there's this new bloke, he's…it's not fun anymore. He told me that I had to break in to see if I could find any clues to the Doctor's whereabouts. We know that you are together, and he reckoned the best way to find the Doctor was through…you."

Rose nodded. "I see. And why exactly do you need the Doctor?"

Elton blinked at her, speechless.

"I mean, is someone in danger? Does someone need help?"

He stayed silent.

"Or do you want him for a darker reason? Are you trying to kill him?"

"No!"

"Are you going to kill me?"

"No, of course not!"

"Then why the sudden interest in me and my family?" Rose demanded, crossing her arms.

"I — I — "

"Fair enough that you formed a little fan group for him. But coming after him and me and our baby? Big mistake, Elton Pope."

"I'm really sorry. Really."

"You reckon you were forced into this by that Victor bloke?"

"Yeah — wait, how do you know his name?"

"I have my own spy, spying on you lot. The Doctor left here earlier to seek you all out and put a stop to your stalking."

"I'm sorry."

"Hmm."

"Really, I am, Rose. I never wanted — it's just — oh, I dunno. Victor's very…domineering. We couldn't help but do as he said."

"Okay. Well, the Doctor will sort him out. Talking of the Doctor, he's gonna be here in a minute, and he's gonna be very, very angry that you broke into my house and posed a threat to his family, so you'd better leg it unless you want to risk being on the receiving end of his wrath."

Elton's face paled. "Right, well, okay, I'll just - "

But just as he started to back towards the front door, it swung open, and the Doctor came storming in. Elton looked at him in wonder, half-scared, half-relieved to have finally seen him in the flesh.

And then the Doctor, looking very, very angry — just as Rose had predicted — seized Elton by the shoulders and flung him outside. He turned to Rose and admonished, "I told you to wait upstairs!" before following Elton into the front garden and slamming the front door shut.

Rose sighed, hearing shouts from outside. She was going to have to intervene.

Following the boys outside in her night dress, Rose called out to the Doctor, "It's all right. I've interrogated him already. Now, are you gonna let me sort this out with you or what?"

"Rose, this man broke into your home -"

"And I've sorted it. The real bad guy here is Victor Kennedy, not Elton."

Elton smiled at her gratefully and shakily.

"Fine. Elton, take us to Mr Kennedy please. I presume you brought a car with you."

"One sec, let me grab my coat," said Rose.

"You're coming out in your nightdress, then?" the Doctor asked, raising his eyebrows.

Rose grabbed her longest coat off the hook just inside the front door, and put it on, fastening all the buttons. "Yep. Let's go."

::

Upon meeting Victor Kennedy in his true form, just as he was about to absorb poor Ursula, and after Rose had remarked that he looked rather Slitheen-ish, it emerged that he was in fact from the planet Clom. A brief stand-off ensued - the Doctor, an indignant Rose, and Elton on one side — with the Absorbaloff, as he had agreed to be named, on the other, threatening Ursula's life as she knelt in front of him, horrified. He had already absorbed the other members of L.I.N.D.A.

Fortunately, those members of L.I.N.D.A were a bright bunch. They gave the last remnants of their existence to effectively pull apart the Absorbaloff. Ursula broke his cane and he was fittingly absorbed by the Earth.

After which, the four people stared at the ground in disbelief.

"Wow," murmured Rose eventually.

That seemed to spark them all back to life. "I can't believe that just happened," gasped Elton, and then he was running to envelope Ursula in his arms. "I thought I was going to lose you."

Rose and the Doctor shared a smile at the sight. Then, the Time Lord's smile faded, and he said, "You shouldn't have put yourself in danger like that."

"Doctor - "

"It was bad enough when it was just you at risk. You're five months pregnant, Rose."

"I know. And I'm fine."

"Yes. Luckily," he remarked tersely.

Rose shivered. "Can we go home? Looks like those two need some alone time."

"Yeah. I do have to speak with Elton about something, though."

"What's that?"

"Well, I knew his mother." Rose's eyes widened and he laughed at her horrified expression. "No, Rose. I should clarify — I didn't know her, as such, but I did find her dead in her sitting room when Elton was just a little boy."

Rose gasped. "What?"

"Long story short, I was tracking something, and it killed her before I could stop it. I think he deserves an explanation."

"Yeah." She paused, glancing around them. "Maybe we should invite them back to talk, instead of standing out here in the middle of the night. Plus, we need a lift back, and he'll be too emotional to drive us home if you tell him now."

"Good thinking. Let's do that."


	9. Chapter 9

Rose chomped on a spoonful of Shreddies and reached for the remote, flicking the channel to BBC1 to watch the news. Her eyes promptly widened and she almost choked on her cereal.

The Royal Hope Hospital had, apparently, been to the moon. And she'd _missed_ it.

She set aside her bowl and got to her feet as quickly as her protruding belly would allow. Because she may have been relaxing in a nice bubble bath during the hospital's unexpected journey into space, but there was one thing she'd bet the house on; the Doctor had been involved somehow.

As Rose grabbed her coat and keys, she felt the baby kick, and so she briefly rested her palm on her tummy. "Don't worry," she murmured. "I'm just going to double check Daddy hasn't got hurt."

::

"Thank you, Martha Jones," the Doctor said gratefully, as he stood with the doctor-in-training outside the hospital she had helped him to save.

"You're welcome," she replied with a grin. "And thank _you._ Listen, I was wondering — "

Before she could say anything further, she noticed that she'd lost his attention; he was looking over her shoulder at something, a small smile on his face. She turned around and saw a rather pregnant woman ambling towards them with a worried expression. Jumping into almost-doctor mode, anxious that the woman was in pain, Martha hurriedly called out to her, "Is everything all right? How far along are you?"

"Almost six months," answered the Doctor quietly, and Martha turned to him in surprise.

The woman reached them, then. "Thank god," she murmured, looking him over and assessing for any damage.

"So you _do_ care," he said in response.

"Only because you're the father of my child," she replied, folding her arms in a huff.

Martha gaped at them, but they didn't appear to notice.

"How did you know I was here?"

"You said last night that you thought something suspicious was going on. When I turned on the news just now and saw all this commotion about it disappearing to the bloody moon, I knew you'd be here."

He beamed at her in delight. "And you thought that you'd come and check that I was okay."

"I thought that I'd come and check you were okay," she nodded in agreement, "Because if you weren't then I was going to have to find another doctor, and that would cause all kinds of hassle."

"You can't fool me," he sing-songed happily, tucking his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels. He glanced at Martha, who was staring at them in shock. "Oh! Sorry, Martha, how rude of me. Martha Jones, Rose Tyler. Rose Tyler, Martha Jones."

"Pleased to meet you," said Rose, holding out her hand.

"And you," Martha replied, shaking her hand with wide eyes. She cleared her throat. "I didn't realise you had a wife," she said to the Doctor.

"Oh, we're not married," was his jovial response.

Rose added, "We aren't actually together."

"Hey! Don't be too hasty about that," he said with a frown, before assuring Martha, "We're just on a break."

"Doctor," Rose sighed.

"Nothing wrong with being optimistic, Rose Tyler," he countered.

"I'm so confused," Martha murmured.

"Martha here saved the world," the Doctor told Rose.

Rose smiled at her and said, "Then thank you."

"Um. That's okay. I didn't really do anything — "

"Nonsense! You brought me back to life!"

"You died?" Rose demanded, whirling back around to him.

He tugged on his ear. "Uh, well…"

"He was just a little short of breath," Martha put in, trying to salvage the situation.

"Yes, that's right," he nodded quickly. "We were running out of oxygen, and Martha knew that I could stop the Plasmavore if I survived, so she foolishly but in the end rather fortunately risked her own life and restarted my respiratory bypass."

Rose eyed him suspiciously for a moment. "She gave you the kiss of life, didn't she."

"She did, yeah," he relented.

"Next time you go nearly getting yourself killed, let me know first, right? Just so I know to tell this baby whether his father was an idiot with a death wish or that he'd just done a runner."

Martha started to back away, unwilling to get drawn into this apparent domestic. She had enough of that with her own family. "Anyway, I'll be off…"

"You don't have to go, Martha," Rose said. "In fact, maybe you ought to get a proper thank-you for saving all of us." She widened her eyes meaningfully at the Doctor, who was staring at his girlfriend-or-whatever-she-was blankly. "TARDIS trip?" she prompted.

He frowned. "Oh, but Martha's training to be a doctor. She hasn't got time for that."

"It's a time machine, you doughnut," Rose retorted. She turned to Martha. "Have you seen the TARDIS yet?"

"What's the TARDIS?"

"It's a time-and-spaceship," Rose grinned. "It's amazing. Come on, we'll show you!"

"Rose — " the Doctor said, in a huff, but followed her and Martha when she started making her way over to the blue box.

Rose quickly unlocked the doors and led Martha inside.

"Oh. My. God."

"I know."

"It's — it's — " she floundered. "It's bigger on the inside!"

Both Rose and the Doctor mouthed the words along with her, then noticed what each other was doing and burst out laughing.

"I thought after what I'd seen today, nothing could shock me," Martha said, running her eyes across the console room in astonishment. "But this. This is just…"

"Yep," grinned the Doctor proudly.

Rose smiled.

::

After a short while explaining about the TARDIS to Martha, the Doctor and Rose left her sitting on the jumpseat to process it all whilst they conversed in hushed voices on the other side of the console room.

"I think you should invite her to travel with you," Rose said.

His eyebrows leapt up his forehead. "But Rose - "

"You need someone to keep an eye on you," she said quietly. "I'd feel better if she was with you."

He looked dubious. "Really?"

"Really. And she deserves to see what's out there, don't you think? And from what you've told me about today, she seems really capable — the perfect candidate. Yeah?"

"Yeah, obviously, and I'm sure she'd be great fun to have along, but…" He lowered his voice, "Rose, I'd feel…odd. Travelling with someone else, while you're not with me."

"You can still visit whenever you want."

"Yeah, but…" He still sounded reluctant.

"You need a friend. Martha's the answer."

He sighed. "She might not even want to come."

"But if she does?"

He considered it silently for a few moments, then relented. "Fine. Okay. I'll ask her. But you need to talk to her first."

"Why?"

"You need to tell her about us. About our…situation. She's confused. And there's no way I'm gonna talk about it, so you'll have to."

"Doctor - "

"She needs to know that you were the exception," he said impatiently. "I kissed her earlier for genetic transfer purposes and she might've got the wrong idea."

Rose rolled her eyes.

"Seriously, Rose, please just tell her."

"What do you want me to say, exactly?"

"Tell her that I'm in love with you and that we're going to be getting back together eventually."

"Doctor - "

"Please? It'll make things a hell of a lot easier. Oh, and tell her that I don't make a habit of impregnating my friends."

Rose couldn't help but laugh. "Right. Okay." She shook her head at him in amusement. "Sometimes I forget how wonderfully daft you can be."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Mmm."

"Thank you." He gave her a silly smile. "Can I have a hug?"

She smiled back and nodded, wrapping her arms around his waist when he pulled her close. He rested his cheek on the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her hair.

"When would you like me to visit next?"

"Friday?" she suggested.

"Okay." He drew back halfway, pausing to drop a quick kiss to her forehead. "You go and talk to Martha first, then I'll ask her, all right? And I'll see you soon."


	10. Chapter 10

Rose took Martha outside of the TARDIS to talk to her in the open air, away from the Doctor. She wanted her to consider the offer without feeling pressured.

"I know it's a lot to take in," Rose started carefully. "And I know this sounds daft, but, it's really easy to get used to it all. The TARDIS herself, the travelling, the different worlds and the aliens…it's scary at first, but it's surprising how quickly it becomes familiar. How quickly it becomes everything you never dreamed you could have, and everything you could ever want."

Martha watched Rose say her piece with so much enthusiasm that she felt a little of her obvious joy seep into her own frame of mind. "You really love it?"

"Yeah," Rose nodded, grinning at her new friend. "God, yeah. It's fantastic. Seeing all that stuff…standing up and doing things when people need help…it's a brilliant way to live life."

"But you don't do it anymore," Martha pointed out.

Rose sighed. "I didn't expect to have to give it up so soon, no. But one day, I'll be back out there. And I don't mind this so much, the domestic side of things I mean — it wasn't planned, the settling down and the pregnancy. It just happened. But I'm happy now. It's weird; my life has changed so much, so quickly. But I love it. It's just a different type of adventure, I s'pose. That's what the Doctor tries to tell me, anyway." She laughed, and placed her hands on her bump. "I can't wait to meet this little one, though."

"Are you completely human?" Martha blurted out.

Rose sent her a puzzled look. "Yeah."

"And you're…pregnant, with his baby?" Martha said slowly, as though that fact hadn't been clarified about an hour ago.

"Yep."

"Is that even possible?"

"Evidently," Rose grinned.

"But…is it safe?"

"So far, it seems to be, yeah."

"Sorry for all these questions, I'm just trying to understand. It's all a bit…"

"Like it's out of some sci-fi film? Yeah, tell me about it," Rose snorted in amusement.

"He said you two were on a break. Is that true?"

Rose hesitated. "I'm not sure. I think so. I — I still - " she broke off. "He still loves me, and I suppose it's kind of inevitable that somewhere down the line we'll end up together again. Not that I tell him that," she added hurriedly.

"Why aren't you together at the moment?" Martha asked, then looked embarrassed. "Sorry, that's personal…"

"It's all right. Um. Well it's kind of a long story. I wasn't so sure that I could trust him to stick around, basically."

"But he has?"

"So far, yeah."

"And you still want to travel with him?"

"I can't, not while I'm pregnant. It could be dangerous for the baby."

"But you want to."

"Well, yeah. But I'm learning to be patient about it," Rose replied.

"How will a baby fit in with all the travelling?"

"No idea. We haven't thought that far ahead. I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." She paused, then added, "In the meantime…"

"Yeah?"

"Well. He needs some company. It gets lonely, travelling time and space; it's better with two."

Martha lifted her eyebrows. "Are you suggesting that I go with him?"

"Yeah, I am."

"But…"

"But what?"

Martha glanced at the TARDIS warily.

"It's not always safe," Rose admitted. "But it's always great fun. You seem to be the adventurous type. You'll love it."

"But…"

"Yeah?"

"Would the Doctor even want me along?"

"I've talked to him about it. He's eager for some companionship."

"He said that?" Martha asked dubiously.

"Well, no. But I know what's best for him, and right now he needs a friend. I do have to warn you, though, he visits me every few days or so, so it won't be all whizzing about. He pops in for tea and check-ups and the occasional shopping trip. You won't mind that, will you?"

"I haven't said I'm going, yet," Martha retorted.

"Hypothetically-speaking, then, would you mind him coming back to me a few times a week?"

"Hypothetically-speaking, of course I wouldn't mind. You're his girlfriend, after all."

Rose coughed awkwardly. "Well, sort of."

"I personally think that he should be with you all the time," Martha said. "After all, you are carrying a half-alien baby. Anything could happen - "

"Yeah, well, he's got a responsibility to the universe as well as me. Besides, he'd drive me up the wall if he was in my house with me constantly — he's not so good with enclosed spaces that aren't bigger on the inside."

Martha smiled sympathetically. "Are you sure about all this, Rose?"

"Please say you'll go with him," Rose said hopefully. "He needs someone to be there to help him, and to show things to, and to stop him if he makes a not-so-human decision."

"I don't know, though," Martha said, shrugging a shoulder. "I'd feel weird about it because I'd keep thinking that he was thinking that you ought to be there instead."

"Well there's nothing we can do about that," Rose reasoned. "And if he makes you feel like second-best then you have my full encouragement to punch him in the face."

Martha laughed and glanced at the TARDIS again. "It's a pretty amazing opportunity. I mean, not many people get an offer to see space."

"And time," Rose added with a grin.

"And time," Martha agreed. "Oh my god, this is mad."

"But you'll go?"

"Maybe…for a trip or two."

Rose squealed and grabbed Martha into a hug. "Thank you for saying that. Obviously I know you are utterly wrong because two trips will inevitably turn into a hundred and so on, but seriously, you won't regret this."

"I still don't know why you're so eager for the father of your baby to go off travelling with another woman," Martha said, returning Rose's hug before pulling back.

"Oh! That reminds me," Rose realised. "He told me that I had to tell you something very, very important."

"Oh dear. What's that?"

Rose smiled enigmatically before replying, "He said that you needn't worry; he doesn't make a habit out of getting his friends pregnant."

Martha's eyes popped out of her head and she swatted Rose's arm playfully. "I should hope not!" she laughed.

"I should also say that he doesn't exactly realise what other people are thinking or feeling sometimes. If you find yourself fancying him - and believe me, I know that it's very easy to do so I won't blame you for it, in fact you probably already do - anyway, if you find yourself in that position, he probably won't even realise. So, um, if that's awkward, then sorry on his behalf. He's an idiot sometimes."

"I can't believe you're making pre-emptive apologies for him," Martha giggled.

"Well someone has to," Rose said, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.


	11. Chapter 11

Within a few weeks, it became apparent that Martha Jones was an asset as part of Team TARDIS. Well. He said Team TARDIS - that was what he was calling it in his head, although two people hardly constituted a team. But in the future, once Rose joined them again - hopefully - then he'd be able to call it that without feeling like a doughnut. Anyway, the point was, Martha was a star and he was glad he'd invited her along, because she was a dab hand in a crisis and she'd adapted very well to her new lifestyle.

She was also very good at putting up with his moaning.

"Sometimes, it really, really hurts, you know?" he mumbled, one evening in the TARDIS galley, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly. "I see her practically every other day but I just…"

"You miss her," Martha murmured, handing him a cup of tea. "I know."

The Doctor met her concerned gaze. "I really messed it up."

"What did you actually do?" she asked carefully. "It's just, you seem so…I don't know, good, together. I can't imagine how you could have caused her to lose her trust in you."

He winced, and sipped at his tea before answering. "Um. Well, there was this woman -"

Martha's mug clunked to the table, thankfully not spilling much of its contents. "You're kidding me?" she interrupted, with a gasp and a reproachful look.

"It's not what you think!" he said hurriedly. She folded her arms and he gulped. "No, really, it's not what you think."

"I thought you were different," she tutted. "I mean, all you ever talk about is Rose, and all you ever look at when you're around her is Rose. And you never seem to notice any other women on our travels in a way remotely like how you notice her, not even when you took me to see your friend Helen of bloody Troy, and all along - "

"For goodness' sake, Martha, are you going to let me explain myself?" he demanded impatiently as she railed against him.

She closed her mouth and raised her eyebrows in a manner that clearly stated, _You'd better hurry._

He cleared his throat purposefully and began with a question, "Have you ever heard of Madame de Pompadour?"

"Yes," she replied. "What's she got to do — oh my god. Did you have an affair with Louis XV's mistress?!"

"No!" he exclaimed. He rubbed at the back of his neck uncomfortably. "She just kissed me, that's all."

Martha stared at him icily.

"I promise! Blimey, you'd think it was you I'd scorned, the look you're giving me!"

"Well, Rose is my friend."

"I'm your friend, too," he huffed.

"Yeah, but Rose didn't have a fling with a French courtesan, did she," Martha huffed right back, making it very clear where her allegiance stood in this matter.

"Neither did I!" he insisted, rolling his eyes. "Martha - "

"It must've been more than just a kiss," she reasoned. "For it to cause the destruction of your relationship."

The Doctor heaved a sigh. "Rose was under the misapprehension that I cared for Reinette more than I ought."

"Oh, 'Reinette' now, is it?" Martha snorted.

"Martha," he whined. "Look, she was in trouble and I helped her, all right?" He shifted in his seat awkwardly. "It's just that to do so I had to leave Rose and Mickey — you remember Mickey, that bloke I told you about, Rose's ex-boyfriend — anyway, I had to leave them on a spaceship thing in the future, but I always planned on going back! Didn't quite know how I was going to do so, but I never would have abandoned Rose forever on purpose. Ever."

"Couldn't she have gone with you?"

"Arthur probably couldn't have carried us both and gotten through the mirror," he mused.

"Arthur?" Martha said in confusion.

"The horse."

She made an understanding sound, something like, "Mmhmm."

"What?" he asked defensively.

"You rode in like a knight in shining armour to rescue your damsel in distress, and you didn't think Rose might get the wrong idea?" she asked, rather patronisingly.

"For a start, she was hardly a damsel in distress — Reinette was quite the accomplished member of court, you know - "

"I don't bloody care how accomplished she was!" Martha nearly shrieked. "Don't you realise what you're even saying? God, Rose was right. You are an idiot. I'm surprised she managed to put up with you as long she did in the first place."

He stared at her in bafflement. "What?"

"I'm going to tell you a story," Martha said next, in a determined voice. "Once upon a time, I met a patient in a hospital who turned out not to be a patient but rather a time-travelling alien — don't interrupt," she warned, as he looked like he was about to, "And this alien didn't look like an alien, but rather human — fine, humans look Time Lord, whatever," she added in, as he looked ready to correct her, "Anyway, the alien and I saved the entire hospital that day, and during the process the alien kissed me — I know, I know, it was a 'genetic transfer,'" she said quickly, as he was about to interrupt her, "And during the whole adventure, I proper fancied the alien. I'm talking major crush alert. Oh for goodness' sake, don't look smug, that's not the point of this story - "

"I can't help it if I'm quite dashing," he grinned, adjusting his tie.

She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I'm not the sort of person who has crushes like that — not since I was fourteen, anyway, with Mr Roberts my chemistry teacher. Now there was a man with the right combination of intellect and charisma." She looked wistful, suddenly.

"Is this going anywhere?" the Doctor asked.

"Sorry, got distracted there. The point is, despite me being a little, um, let's say, surprised about you being an alien and everything, I was thinking about asking you out for a drink."

He arched an eyebrow.

Martha quickly continued, "But then Rose showed up, all pregnant and everything, and you looked at her like I've never seen you look at anyone else, not me, not Helen of Troy, not even the TARDIS. And suddenly I realised that the pair of you had inadvertently cured me of my crush — well, mostly, anyway — because whatever attraction I felt towards you that day pales so completely and utterly in comparison to what you feel for her."

"Right…"

"So what I'm trying to say is, what the bloody hell were you thinking?!"

He jumped in surprise. "What?"

"How can you be so incredibly in love with Rose and yet get off with 'Reinette?'" she asked, even using air quotation marks around the Frenchwoman's name.

"I didn't 'get off' with her!"

"You just said you kissed her!"

"She kissed me!"

"But you probably kissed back, am I right?" He looked sheepish so she continued, "And she was probably beautiful, am I right?"

He sighed. "Martha - "

"And I'm also betting that considering she was practically royalty from the eighteenth century, she was dressed all refined and elegant? And she was probably a very nice lady, one who was sophisticated and easy to like? And at no point whilst you were conversing with this epitome of stylish loveliness did you consider that Rose might feel a little inadequate in comparison?"

Now he was angry. "Oi, look here, Martha, Rose is in no way inadequate in comparison to anyone, thank you very much - "

"You don't have to tell me that, you plonker!" Martha exclaimed. "I'm not saying that she is! I'm saying that watching you pander to the attentions of a posh French aristocrat may have made Rose feel a little bit like she was second best, you know, considering that up 'til then you'd been loving her, and yet suddenly when some new and shiny and intelligent woman comes along, you drop her like a hot potato."

He gaped at her in astonishment.

Martha leant back in her chair and held up her hands. "But then I wasn't there, so correct me if I'm in any way mistaken in my assumptions. I am, after all, basing this on both my history lessons and my knowledge of Rose's past rather than an eye-witness account."

He cleared his throat. "I was thoughtless, and tactless, I get that. I do. And I apologised to Rose for it. Repeatedly. But you have to believe me, I never wanted to hurt her. And I certainly didn't love Reinette. And Rose knows that." He swallowed hard. "Why can't she just forgive me, Martha? I know I behaved without thought to her feelings that day, because I was all caught up in the adventure and excitement, but I've been trying to make it up to her, and I've been trying to show her how much I love her, you said yourself how obvious it is, and we have a baby coming, for Rassilon's sake. Why won't she forgive me?"

Martha sighed sadly. "I expect she has forgiven you," she admitted. "But she still needs time to process that."

"I just want her to love me again," he mumbled, closing his eyes.

"Were you tempted?" Martha murmured.

"Tempted to do what?"

"To be with Reinette instead of Rose?"

His eyes shot open. "No!" he insisted vehemently. "No. I'm quite painfully aware that Rose is the love of my life. I can't walk away from her indefinitely. I never will be able to."

"Then, in time, she'll love you again," Martha said, with confidence. "I'm sure of it."

"How? How can you be so sure?"

"Because I can see it in her face every time we visit. It's there, lingering, still, even after you being a git. And it'll be there when you hold your baby for the first time. And it'll be there when you are showing her what a great father you are. And it'll be there when you ask her to marry you."

The Doctor scraped his chair back as he jerked backwards in surprise. "What did you just say?"

"Oh blimey, don't go asking her yet," she said hurriedly. "God, no. No. You have to wait at least a year."

"I legitimately have no idea what you are saying," he gulped.

"I'm saying that at some point, a very happy Jackie Tyler is going to be planning her only daughter's first wedding."

He stared at her speechlessly for a few moments. And then his eyes grew very alarmed. "Hold on, what do you mean first? I'll not go through a human wedding ceremony twice, not even for Rose."

"Nah, I just meant that one trip to visit Cleopatra or whoever and Rose'll divorce you quick as anything, might find herself a nice, decent human bloke to raise her future offspring."

The Doctor growled, "Firstly, Cleo and I have a strictly platonic relationship, thank you very much, and secondly, Rose will definitely not be bearing children that are not mine, nor will she ever marry anyone else."

"So you've accepted the fact that a wedding between you two is inevitable, then," Martha grinned triumphantly.

"Well, if it'll appease everyone and Rose wants to, then I suppose so," he sniffed, and then grumbled to himself about human rituals and tradition.

"Have you been married before?"

"Yes."

"Then it's not just a human ritual and tradition then, is it?" she replied pointedly. Then her eyes widened. "Hold on, really? You? Married?"

He shifted awkwardly. "Well, it was a bit, er…"

"What? Shotgun?" she grinned mischievously.

"No! More like arranged without my encouragement."

"Blimey, what a romantic."

"Weddings on Gallifrey were more political than romantic, it has to be said."

"Sounds awful."

"Meh, it kept the peace," he shrugged.

"Did you love her?"

"Who?"

She rolled her eyes. "Your wife on Gallifrey."

"Oh. Well, yes, I suppose so."

"You 'suppose so?'" Martha snorted.

"I grew fond of her, but it wasn't exactly a passionate thing."

"As opposed to you and Rose," Martha smirked.

"Yes, well, there's not really much of that going on at the moment with Rose, either," he grumbled.

"Too much information, mister."

"Sorry."


	12. Chapter 12

A few weeks later, Rose enlisted the Doctor and Martha to help her decorate the nursery.

"Are you sure you don't mind helping us?" Rose asked Martha. "He didn't drag you into this under false pretences, did he?"

Martha laughed, then squeezed Rose's arm reassuringly. "I'm glad to help, honestly."

"Thank you." She held out two tins of paint. "Which colour do you like best?"

Martha eyed the magnolia versus the slightly darker than magnolia shades. "Um…that one?"

Rose beamed. "That's what I thought, too."

The Doctor watched upon this exchange from the doorway to the spare room in Rose's house, a small smile on his face and a giddy feeling in his chest. Rose really was at her most attractive when she was excited over something, and recently those things were mostly to do with the baby. They had been shopping earlier that day and purchased a beautiful cot. He didn't tell her that he'd already made one; that was a surprise for when she and the baby joined him on the TARDIS again. He also refrained from telling her that the TARDIS herself had created a room for the baby with an adjoining door to their room. He'd have to wait for the right moment before breaking that to her, in case she thought he was rushing things.

But first things first, they had to paint this room. Then, he would help her construct the cot and other furniture, and position it where she wanted. He had been looking forward to today for a long time, and he hoped that Martha meant it when she said that she didn't mind. He didn't want to bore her, but she seemed genuinely excited for Rose and him. She'd become a good friend, and he was glad that Rose had talked him into inviting her onto the TARDIS.

Martha glanced around, then, and saw the Doctor's expression. She figured that they could use a brief bit of alone time, so she hatched a plan. "Right, you two get started," she said. "And I'll go and make some tea and see if I can find that other paint roller."

"Thanks, Martha," smiled Rose. Martha hurried out of the room, shooting the Doctor a knowing look.

The Doctor cleared his throat and Rose turned around, handing him the paint. "Could you empty that into those trays? I'm gonna quickly change into an old shirt so that I don't ruin my clothes. You ought to do that too."

"It's all right, I'll wear an apron," he grinned. She grinned back and nodded, then nipped to her room to change. She was back before he'd even finished sorting out the paint. Glancing up at her, his breath hitched and he spilt the pot a little. It was very unfair that Rose always looked so gorgeous.

Tying her hair back, Rose surveyed the room. "Right, I'll start there," she said, pointing at one of the walls. "And you start there, and we'll meet in the middle. And then Martha can start on the other one when she comes back." She placed a hand on her bump. "Yeah?"

He realised with a jerk that she wanted him to respond. He'd been too busy staring — first at her face, then at her stomach. "Sure," he said distractedly. She really did look very good in that white shirt. He had memories of that shirt. Good memories. She used to wear it in bed. Now, of course, she had leggings on with it, because it only came down to mid-thigh. But before, she'd wandered around the halls of the TARDIS —

"Doctor?" she prompted. "You gonna get started or what?"

"Yes, right! Okdokey." He jumped up and handed her a paint roller. "Bet I can finish my bit before you."

"Bet you can't," she scoffed.

"How much?"

"Fiver."

"Tenner?"

"Done."

The battle commenced. The Doctor and Rose, not above the childish desire of sabotage, tried to win by ruining the other's progress. The first move was his; he crept up behind her and then jogged her arm, so that the roller accidentally moved across the window pane. "Oi!" she shouted, but she was laughing. She noticed that he had taken off his suit jacket but was still wearing his shirt and tie. A devilish glint came into her eyes and he panicked, backing away.

"Oh, no, no no no, you don't have to stoop that low, Rose," he reasoned. She advanced on him with the paint roller in hand, backing him into the corner of the room. She grabbed his tie to lift it out of the way — she liked that tie - and rolled the paint down his shirtfront. He yelped; it was cold, and now his shirt was ruined, and she was evil. "Oh, you'll pay for that, Rose Tyler," he growled, then picked up a brush, dunked it into the paint, and painted a magnolia streak down her nose. She was all giggles, apparently unperturbed by this, so he upped the ante and continued a path down her chin and neck, right down to her exposed sternum where the shirt collar gaped open. She stopped giggling.

They stared at each other for a few moments in utter silence. Then, she glanced down at herself, saw where he'd left his mark, saw where he was still clutching the paintbrush close to her skin, and gulped. "Big mistake," she murmured, and for a frightening moment he thought she was going to back away from their game, thought he'd gone too far and bloody well pushed her away again. But she merely meant she was going to get her own back, and get it she did; by rolling the paint right down the front of his trousers. He gaped at her in shock, and she smirked.

He cleared his throat and tried to show her that she hadn't won. "If you wanted to touch me, Rose, you could've just said so. Save going to the trouble of engineering this nefarious plot," he remarked casually, tapping the paint roller that was lightly pressing into his crotch.

"You started it!" she retorted with a glare, snatching her hand back. She dropped the paint roller onto the floor; luckily, they had already put old fabric on the wooden panelling to stop spillages. "I was just giving you a taste of your own medicine."

"Sure you were," he replied, taking a step towards her. The curve of her bump prevented him getting too close, but he was close enough to see her swallow.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she countered, visibly breathless. His hand found hers, his fingertips stroking across her wrist, and she flinched in surprise. But she didn't pull away. His other hand came up to her face, and his knuckles brushed gently along her cheekbone. She watched his eyes in utter silence.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed. "I don't think you realise just how beautiful you are."

"I'm covered in paint," she pointed out weakly. "And I'm…"

"What?" he asked, when her sentence trailed off.

"Fat."

"Pregnant," he corrected smoothly. "Rose."

"Mmm?"

"I miss you," he whispered.

"You see me all the time," she whispered back.

"It's not the same."

"Yeah."

"I know you're not - " he started, then stopped, biting his lip.

"Not what?" she prompted.

"I know you're not ready, for things to — for me to — for us to see each other more," he stammered. "But I just…I miss…"

"Just this once," she blurted. "Just this once, and then we wait until I'm more ready."

"What do you mean?"

"You can kiss me. Now. Just this once. Just to — to — I dunno."

"Tide us over?" he suggested, arching an eyebrow critically.

"Well…I guess. Yeah."

"You want me to kiss you."

"Now? Yes. Permanently? Not yet."

He nodded. "Right, right."

"Are you gonna?"

The Doctor tilted his head to the side. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure." To prove it to him, she rose up on her tiptoes and brought their mouths level. He clutched at her waist to support her movement, then slanted his lips across hers, the pressure gentle. He felt his whole body relax, as though this was all he needed to calm his frayed emotions; it wasn't, quite, because he did want more, and to be fully soothed he suspected he needed things to go back to how they used to be, with Rose by his side, always. But for now, this had to be enough, and he was grateful to her for allowing them this.

Their eyes fluttered closed, and Rose gripped the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. The Doctor couldn't help but groan into her mouth, and one of his hands slid down to cup her bum, pulling her against him as close as possible. When they broke apart to breathe, though, Rose took a few steps backwards, and nearly tripped over the paint roller on the floor. The Doctor's arms shot forward and he grabbed her elbows, allowing her to regain her balance, and they stared at each other, breathing heavily.

"Been a while since we've done that," he remarked quietly, with a cautious smile.

Rose nodded. "Mmm."

He watched her closely for a minute or so, as she picked the paint roller back up and retreated to her side of the room, continuing to paint as though nothing had happened. "You regret it already, don't you," he guessed, resuming his own task.

"No, I just…" she started, then sighed, smearing paint across her forehead as she rubbed it. "I can't let things go back there. Not now."

"Okay."

"I mean, things are good between us at the moment, being friends again. I can't risk - "

"We risked it before," he interjected.

"That was different."

"Was it?"

"Yes. Because I was full of optimism back then. I didn't think you'd hurt me."

"Rose - "

"Look, I know that you're sorry. I get that, I do. But if it wasn't for the baby - " she cut herself off, her voice hitching.

The Doctor frowned, and stepped over to her. "What were you going to say just then?"

She took a steadying breath then met his gaze. "If it wasn't for the baby, you wouldn't have been this patient, would you? You wouldn't've stuck around."


	13. Chapter 13

"You think that I am only here because you're pregnant? You think that if you weren't, it would've been easy for me to walk away from you?" he demanded, folding his arms.

"No, not easy, but I still think you would've." She started rolling the paint across the wall in jerky movements, and he reached out to stop her, fingers tugging on her arm to turn her around again.

"Rose, listen to me. I may not be the most patient man in the universe - "

"No shit," she scoffed.

"But, I think you underestimate my ability to adapt. Rose, look at me."

She glanced up.

"I'm here, and I'll be ready and waiting. For however long it takes. All right?"

"You make all these promises," she whispered. "But how will I know that they're really for me?" His face contorted into an expression of frustration and she added, "No, wait, hear me out, yeah? Because I'm carrying part of you, something Time Lord, something from your species and culture and home that was lost to you forever. And I worry that somewhere along the way, I'll be the one that gets lost."

"I don't understand," he murmured, frowning in concern as she struggled to explain what she meant.

"We're painting this room, right, and we've bought all this baby stuff and the cot and everything, but what if — what if - " Tears pooled in her eyes, alarming the Doctor greatly.

He gripped her shoulders. "Tell me what's worrying you, Rose."

She closed her eyes, let out a long breath, and answered, "What if I can't connect to it?"

"I'm sorry?"

"The baby. You'll share all this — this stuff with it, the telepathy and your language and everything, and your 'superior biology' — and what if I'm left on my own whilst you two become all you need for each other? What if I get branded as the boring parent, or the bossy parent, or the responsible parent, whilst you get to do all the fun stuff and take him to places I could never?"

"I thought we would do all that stuff together, Rose, both of us," he tried to reason.

But she continued, slightly panicky, "What if I can't bond with it? What if I'm no good as a mum and you take the baby and just — and just leave, because they'd be no stopping you, really, would there? You could just take off and I would never see either of you again."

"You think I'd want that? You think I could possibly ever do that to you? To us? Rassilon, Rose!" He released her shoulders, reeling back on his heels and running his hands through his hair in agitation. "Here's me worrying about the fact that we'll only have sixty years or whatever together, and you're thinking we won't even have that!"

She stepped back in surprise at his angry outburst, overcome with emotion at the way he looked like he would burst into tears if she prodded him further. Her hand came up to rub at her collar bone nervously. She realised they were both still covered in paint; in fact, more paint was on them than on the walls. She also realised that Martha had been gone ages, so she must've heard them arguing and left them to it.

And finally, she realised just how much the Doctor loved her. That he was already agonising over the fact that she'd die at some point in the next several decades spoke volumes, and though she wasn't ready for them to jump straight into a relationship again, she could at least accept his feelings for what they were — genuine, and intense.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

"What?" he snapped, more out of confusion than anything else.

"I said I'm sorry. I'm just - " She bit her lip. "I'm just so scared. I want us and the baby to be happy, but I am so worried that I won't be able to be a good mum, and…" she trailed off, then restarted. "And I guess I'm being paranoid. I know you wouldn't hurt me by taking the baby from me. I'm just scared. That's all. And I think over the last few weeks I've realised how much I'm going to need you. I mean, I could've managed on my own, I suppose, with Mum's help — plenty of people do. But right now I'm so glad that I don't have that daunting prospect hovering over me. Because maybe in the future it'd all work out fine, but right now, I'm terrified, and if I didn't have you — if I didn't know that you'd be there — then I'd be even worse. And, I was worried that I'd get jealous — of you, for being able to communicate with the baby on levels I could never, and of the baby, for you loving it more than me. And I kept thinking that if I'm feeling like that, then…that'd make me an awful parent." She closed her eyes, sighing heavily. "I'm such a mess."

The Doctor wrapped his arms around her, drawing her against him for a hug. Though surprised, she returned it gratefully, sneaking her arms around his waist. He dropped a kiss to the top of her head, and told her, "You're not a mess, and you won't be an awful parent. You're going to be a brilliant mum, I know you are."

"How?" she mumbled grumpily into his paint-ruined shirtfront.

"Because I believe in you."

"Really?"

"Yes. And I worry about the same things, you know; that I'll be rubbish, that parenting will be too difficult, that the baby will love you more. Because why wouldn't it love you more? The best parts of this baby will all be coming from you, Rose Tyler."

"Don't be daft," Rose said, through a short giggle of disbelief.

"Anyway, you needn't worry about the communicating thing. I told you that you'll start to feel the baby's presence in your mind as you progress through the pregnancy. It's probably still just a tickle at the moment so you hardly notice it, but eventually, you'll feel it properly. And so you now seem to have an extensive telepathic ability - odd considering that you're human, but probably thanks to your body adapting to the baby - so I don't see why that wouldn't continue post-birth."

"Really?"

"Indeed, and I can help you strengthen your telepathy even more, if you want me to. The thing is, Rose, we have all these worries, the pair of us, and the main problem is that we don't talk enough about those things — the things that matter."

"I know," she acknowledged quietly.

"It's my fault, that," he continued, swallowing hard. "Because I've pressed things down for so long, hidden feelings and thoughts behind bluster and defences. And although you've made me better at opening up, the fact is, when I — when I hurt you, you started retreating, doing the same things I've always done; bottling things up. And you're right — we're not ready to get back together properly, not until we can sort the communications issue out. And not until you trust me again. And you know what, Rose? That's all right. That's all right. Because people go through stuff like this all the time, and they get through it. And I believe in us."

She drew back from his embrace. "All right, then. If you reckon we can do this…"

"We can, and we will."

Rose smiled. "And if you have the patience to take things slowly…"

"I do." He nodded. "I promise you that I do."

"And no more kissing until we've sorted our heads out," she warned.

"Agreed," he replied, with only the slightest bit of hesitation.

"Okay, then. We'd best get this painting done. I wonder if the baby would like it if I painted a blue police box on that wall, after we've done the base coat - "

The Doctor's eyes lit up and he nodded eagerly. "The baby would like that very much." She arched an eyebrow at him and he added, "I can predict these things, you see."

"Then I s'pose I'll have to reawaken my artistic skills," Rose beamed.

::

A couple of days later, the Doctor visited again.

"Rose?" he called, as he let himself and Martha into the house via the back door.

She was in the kitchen making dinner. "Hiya," she replied cheerfully. "Want some pasta?"

"Ooh yes please," he grinned, coming up behind her to inspect it. "Looks lovely."

"I've made plenty," she said. "Why don't you take Martha into the dining room and sit down; I'm nearly done."

"Okay." He nodded, but before he went, he dropped a quick kiss to her cheek, and murmured, "Nice to see you."

Rose smiled, and dished up their meal. A few hours passed, filled with good conversation and laughter, and at about ten o'clock Martha made her excuses and retreated to the TARDIS to get some rest. With just the two of them remaining, Rose nodded her head towards the ceiling. The Doctor's eyes widened, and she quickly clarified her point. "No, idiot. I meant, do you want to see the nursery? I finished the painting of the TARDIS."

He jumped up excitedly. "I've never seen your artwork," he said, rubbing his hands together. "I have been looking forward to this."

Rose laughed, and they went upstairs. As soon as the Doctor caught sight of the wall she had painted, he gasped in awe.

"It's perfect," he whispered. "Absolutely perfect." Rose had depicted the TARDIS tilted on her side as though flying amidst the vortex, with swirling blues and reds surrounding the ship, and reflective paint for the odd distant star or two. She was very pleased with the Doctor's reaction. "The baby is going to love this," he continued, his fingertips trailing across the painting delicately. He whirled around and smiled at her. "You're brilliant. I hope our baby inherits your artistic ability."

Rose shrugged modestly, but inside she was thinking, for around about the first time, that maybe she could be a good mum after all.


	14. Chapter 14

Rose was feeling content. Her back ached a bit, but apart from that she was quite enjoying this stage of the pregnancy. As the baby developed, its tickling presence in Rose's mind grew stronger, and it was a huge source of comfort and relief to her. It was a remarkable experience, to feel connected to another living thing like that.

She was also happy with the way things stood between her and the Doctor. His reassurances last week, when she was speaking of all her anxieties about becoming a mum, had done wonders for her self-esteem.

Martha often visited her family when the Doctor was at the house, but sometimes she stayed for tea and a chat with Rose too, which they both enjoyed. It was good to have someone of a similar age to talk to about what life on the TARDIS was like, and Rose could tell that she and Martha were becoming fast friends, which pleased her.

One evening, after a catch-up with Rose, Martha went out to the pub with a few of her medical student mates, so the Doctor made use of their time alone to broach a topic of conversation that he'd been meaning to bring up for a while.

They had retreated to the living room after dinner, and Rose flopped down on the sofa to relax, feeling exhausted but looking radiant, in his opinion.

"I told Martha, by the way," he said quietly, apropos of nothing, as he settled on the sofa next to her.

Rose looked up at him in confusion. "Told her what?"

"About why we aren't together anymore. She asked about it last week, so I ended up telling her all about it."

"Oh. Right."

"Was that okay? That I told her?"

"Of course." She paused. "What did she say?"

"A lot," he winced. "She shouted at me all evening, actually."

Rose grinned. "Good to know I have an ally."

He bumped her shoulder with his. "She felt sorry for me by the end of the discussion."

"Ah, well, you are quite pitiable," she relented. He gaped at her and she laughed at his expression. "I'm kidding."

"No you aren't," he sighed, and nudged her with his shoulder again. "But I concede to your point. I was rather miserable, droning on about my idiocy whilst drowning my sorrows with a cup of tea."

"Tea solves everything," she acknowledged, facing the telly again.

"Should be your mother's slogan, that."

"I think it already is."

"Anyway, my point is, I miss you."

"Was that the point?" she retorted, arching an eyebrow. "Doesn't seem relevant to me."

"Of course it's bloody relevant. Why do you think I was so miserable in the first place?"

"Because you'd run out of bananas?"

"Don't be silly. I am never so daft as to forget to stock up on bananas."

Rose giggled. He was delighted by that. He was very glad that he could still make her laugh.

"I miss you being in the TARDIS," he murmured.

She sighed, and rested her head on his shoulder as she continued to look at the television screen rather than him. "I know. You said all this the other day."

"When we kissed."

"When you kissed me," she corrected softly.

"When you told me I could kiss you."

"Yes," she relented, with a sigh. They were quiet for a few moments before he asked his next question.

"Do you miss being in the TARDIS?"

"Yes. But the baby…"

"I know." He paused. "Once the baby's born, will you come back?"

"We need to think about what's going to happen then, very, very carefully," she murmured, finally looking at him again. "Our previous way of life is way too dangerous for a child. We were too reckless. We went to places that we knew were trouble. We can't do that with our baby, Doctor. But on the other hand, there are still people who need our help in those dangerous places. And I miss that. I really do. You know how much I thrived on all that danger — as much as you, I reckon."

"I know," he said, with a wistful smile. "You were perfect for me that way."

She swallowed thickly. "But now things have changed."

"Yeah."

"I won't put my baby in danger."

"I won't put our baby in danger either," he retorted.

"So how are we gonna do it? Balance the two sides of our life?"

"The domestic versus the danger?"

"Exactly."

"Hmm. Well, I'm not sure."

"Exactly," Rose said again, sounding sad.

"We'll find a way, Rose."

"Will the baby even be able to be on the TARDIS after it's born? Whilst it's growing up, I mean?"

"Yeah, it's only in the stages of gestation that the vortex might cause problems. Once she's born, she'll be fine to travel."

"She?" Rose grinned.

"I'm pretty convinced," he replied, grinning back. "So. We'll work it out, yeah? And you'll come home?"

"Doctor, we need to establish this house as home for him or her too, because we'll need a base. Somewhere for us to settle. I know that we have to introduce him or her to our way of life as well, because that's part of who she — he - is, and who he'll probably want to be, but we can't travel constantly. He'll need to make friends, friends his own age — at nursery, at school."

He nodded. "I understand. We'll just learn to balance it. It'll be fine, Rose." Then he chuckled. "You really think it's a boy, don't you?"

"Yes," she said emphatically. "So stop tricking me into saying the opposite."

::

The Doctor left at around nine-thirty that evening, and just as Rose was about to go up to get some rest, the phone rang. She answered it promptly; it was Shareen.

"Hey honey!" Shareen greeted on the other end of the line. "How are you?"

Rose raised her eyebrows in surprise. Shareen had barely spoken to her since she'd told her she was pregnant. "I'm…I'm great, ta. You?"

"Oh, I'm good, yeah. So, I was wondering whether I could come around for a chat? Feel like we need a catch-up, you know?"

"Oh, um, yeah. All right then." Rose was tired, but it'd be nice to talk to Shareen for a bit, seeing as she was apparently now taking an interest. "What time?"

"I can be at yours in half hour, if that's all right?"

"Sure," agreed Rose warmly. "It'll be lovely to see you!"

When Shareen arrived exactly thirty minutes later, she gaped at Rose. "You look huge!"

"Thanks," Rose laughed, ushering her friend into the living room. She offered her a packet of crisps and a bottle of beer.

"Just like old times," grinned Shareen.

Rose lifted up her glass of orange juice. "Well, not quite."

"So, how's it feel? Being all…pregnant?"

Rose shrugged. "It's all right. Bit of a pain, sometimes, I s'pose - when I can't do the things I'd normally do - but…I dunno, I quite like it, really, now that I'm over the morning sickness. How are you, anyway? What you been up to?"

"Oh, this and that," replied Shareen, taking a sip of her beer. "Met a new bloke."

"Oh, yeah? What's he like?"

"He was rubbish. So I chucked him. Now I've got a new, new bloke."

Rose smiled to herself, letting Shareen talk about her new, new bloke whilst she lost herself in a memory for a few minutes. It had been one of the happiest, strangest moments of her life that day, laying on the Doctor's coat on the applegrass of New Earth. She'd thought everything had been complicated then, what with the regeneration and everything, but she'd had no idea just how complicated her life — their life — would become.

"What about you? Heard from that dick of a doctor of yours?" Shareen asked, jerking Rose out of her reverie.

"Um…" Rose paused, thinking back over what she'd told Shareen when she'd first announced her pregnancy and had to explain why she wasn't with the Doctor any longer. She'd told her friend that she'd dumped him, but she hadn't been truthful with the reasons why.

"Rose?" Shareen prompted.

"Yeah, erm. Haven't really been in contact, you know…" she hedged awkwardly, before shoving a few crisps into her mouth.

"Well, good job you got rid, anyway," Shareen snorted, before taking another sip of her beer.

Rose shifted uneasily. She had allowed Shareen to believe, for the past few months, that she'd not seen the Doctor at all. She'd allowed Shareen to think that he never visited. And that made her feel terribly guilty, but she wasn't sure how to get herself out of the predicament, not now that she'd let it go on so long.

"Still, you sure that you didn't get pregnant for that specific reason?" Shareen asked, waggling her eyebrows and taking a biscuit from the plate that Rose had put on the coffee table.

"What do you mean?" asked Rose, her brow furrowing.

"Well, lots of girls do that, don't they? Get themselves up the duff on purpose just so that the bloke feels like he has to stay with 'em."

"Shareen, this baby was completely accidental. You know I never wanted kids."

"Yeah, but then you met that moron, and I'm betting you'd've done anything to stay with him," Shareen pointed out, giving her a grin and a wink.

"What? Don't be daft! We didn't even stay together anyway, so what are you on?"

"Only because you — quite rightly — dumped his arse when it became obvious he didn't want it. I dunno, that's just typical, that is. You go to all that trouble of trying to secure the bloke, and that's what drives him away in the end anyway!" Shareen shook her head sadly. "Still, at least you're shot of him. He was a loony."

"That's not what you said when you met him at New Year's," Rose ground out between clenched teeth.

"Yeah, well, I was drunk. He seemed nice."

"I actually remember you telling me to 'cling onto that one, Rose, or I might have a go,'" Rose replied, arching an eyebrow.

"Like I said, I'd been drinking! I didn't mean it!"

"But you did think he was good-looking."

"Yeah, but that should've been a sign straight-off. The good-looking ones are never satisfied with what they've got. Always looking for something better. Shinier. Grass always greener, and all that."

Rose swallowed hard. "That's a bit unfair," she mumbled. "I mean, not all good-looking guys are like that."

"But you said it yourself, Rose! On the phone that time, do you remember? You kept on about how he was a commitment-phobe, babe. It's why I wasn't that surprised when you told me you'd pulled the preggers stunt."

"Shareen, how many more times! I didn't do this on purpose!"

Shareen giggled. "No piercing-the-condom, then?"

"What? Don't be stupid. You watch too much telly."

"If you say so," she shrugged. "Anyway, enough about him. When are you gonna come hang out with the old crew, eh?"

"Shareen, I haven't seen most of 'em for nearly a year. It'd be…awkward, especially now I've got the baby coming."

"Mariah's pregnant too, you know," Shareen said casually.

"What, seriously?" Rose gasped.

"Yep. But unlike your git of an ex, her boyfriend's sticking around."

Rose wrinkled her nose up. "If I were her, I'd rather he didn't — that Ben is a right tosser."

"Oh, it's not Ben's," Shareen corrected hastily. "Sorry, forgot you're not up to speed. Um, it's Craig's. They're together now."

"Craig? As in, Craig from the betting shop Craig? Craig who has already been married three times and has four kids, Craig?"

"Yep."

"Wow."

"I know, I know, bit of an age gap."

"Mm."

"Not that you can talk; how many years older than you was your fella?"

Rose coughed. "Um…fifteen. Ish."

Shareen sighed. "See, I told Mariah to be careful 'cos of that. You never know when they're gonna get tired of chasing the younger women and start looking for someone their own age, you know, more mature and all that."

"Mmm," Rose said tightly.

Shareen continued to talk about her and Rose's old group of friends, but by this point, Rose wasn't really interested. None of the people Shareen brought up in conversation had bothered to contact Rose, not even when she'd tried to initiate a reunion dinner. She couldn't really blame them — she had been gone a long time without seeing them, and it wasn't like they had much in common any more. Still, the thought of losing all her old mates brought down Rose's mood a bit. But then she started thinking about Martha, and the new friendship she was forging with her, and she realised that maybe it was good to start afresh, with someone who could better understand her.

And when she came to that realisation, all she wanted to do was say goodbye to Shareen, call up Martha, and get the gossip from her night out. Martha might be a very different person to Rose, who had lived a very different life and come from a very different place, but right now, she felt an infinitely closer bond to her than she did with the friend she had grown up with who was sitting in front of her right at that moment.

And Rose didn't quite know what to think of that.


	15. Chapter 15

One morning, the Doctor burst into the kitchen with such a force that Rose nearly dropped the kettle in surprise. "You all right?" she remarked archly, taking in his dishevelled appearance.

A smile spread across his face and he crossed the room in a few quick strides. "Thank goodness for that," he murmured against Rose's neck, as he grabbed her into a hug.

"What's the matter?"

"How long have I been gone?"

"Two days. Why?"

"It's been months for me," he whispered. "I was so worried that I'd get the date wrong." He felt her go rigid in his arms and he hurriedly explained, "It wasn't my fault, I promise. I've missed you so much. Martha and I got stuck in 1969 without the TARDIS. It was a nightmare. Oh god, I've missed you." He squeezed her tighter, inhaling the scent of her hair as he lifted his head to press a quick but firm kiss to her forehead. His hand trailed down to the prominent curve of her belly and he smiled as he felt the baby kick against his palm.

Rose slowly extricated herself from his embrace, reasserting some boundaries, and offered him a cup of tea.

An hour later, and he'd explained his and Martha's predicament with the Weeping Angels.

"How's Martha feeling?" asked Rose in concern.

He shrugged. "She seems to be okay. But I feel terrible for putting her in such a horrible situation. There were times that I knew how worried she was about never getting the TARDIS back. For her to be trapped in that time forever would've been awful."

"Where is she now?"

"At her Mum's. She missed her family a great deal."

"I can imagine."

"She said she'll come by later to see you. Anyway," he exhaled roughly. "How are you?"

She smiled at him indulgently. "I'm fine. I've stayed in the same space and time for the last two days. The only trouble I've had to face is getting in and out of the bath with this little one attached to me." She gestured at her ever-growing bump.

The Doctor raised his eyebrows. "Well, if you need any help with that, just give me a ring - "

Rose laughed and interjected, "I know your game. You just want to see me naked."

"Well, obviously," he retorted unashamedly.

She smacked him lightly on the arm. "You're terrible."

"Is it really such a shock?" he remarked. "The amount of nakedness in my life has gone down dramatically since you left the TARDIS."

"Martha doesn't wander the halls in just a towel, then?"

"Nope. And I'm not remotely interested in seeing her do so. You know that all I really want is you."

"Well that's a shame," she murmured. "'Cos I think she might fancy you."

"Nah, we cured her of that, apparently," he replied with ease. "What with me being so into you and everything."

Rose let out a shaky breath. "Oh really?"

"Really really." He lowered his voice. "Interesting fact of the day: it's not just your company that I miss."

"Doctor…" she said, the word holding a warning.

He grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. All that time not seeing you made me go a bit loopy."

She couldn't help but smile back, but she could feel a blush heating her cheeks, as it always did when the Doctor looked at her like he was looking at her at that moment. She cleared her throat. "Would you like to stay for dinner?"

He nodded. "Please. What are you having?"

"Quite fancy fish and chips. Would you mind popping to the chip shop?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure. Now?"

"Yeah. I'll get you some money, hold on," she said, standing up. She moved over to the table where her bag was situated, and pulled out her purse. He came up behind her, and so when she turned around he was very, very close, and she swallowed hard. "Um, here you go," she mumbled, handing him a twenty pound note.

"Ta," he replied, pocketing it. "Rose?"

"Yeah?"

He stared down at her in silence for a few seconds, his eyes dark. She broke their joined gaze, and hoped she didn't appear affected by his nearness. He could probably hear her heart beating from there, she thought ruefully.

He placed his hand on her baby bump again and smiled softly. "I'll be back in a bit." With that, he turned and left for the chip shop.

Rose sat down on the sofa shakily. It wasn't fair that she still wanted him so badly. It just wasn't fair.

::

When he returned with dinner, they settled on the sofa in front of the telly and ate in a companionable silence.

"I never would've asked you for all this, you know," she murmured out of the blue, once she'd nearly finished her cod and chips.

"What do you mean?" he asked curiously, before taking another bite of his food.

"All…this." She gestured around her. "I never would have asked you to settle down or get a house. I wouldn't have given you any ultimatums. I wouldn't have asked for things you couldn't give."

He frowned. "Rose, where is this going?"

She huffed in frustration, because she couldn't find the right words to express what she wanted to say. "What I mean is, this is all accidental. I would never have asked you to choose between me and the universe, or me and the TARDIS or whatever. I just want you to know that."

"I'm confused," he admitted.

Rose rolled her eyes at him. "I suppose I'm trying to say that I didn't get pregnant on purpose, and I wouldn't have done so to trap you, or something."

"Why would you think that I thought you would have?"

"I dunno. It's just something Shareen said." Rose heaved a sigh. "She sort of implied that I got pregnant deliberately so that you would be trapped into a relationship and wouldn't leave me."

He arched an eyebrow. "But you left me," he retorted. "She knows that."

"Yeah but she doesn't know the details. She thinks it's because you didn't want the baby," Rose confessed.

"What?" the Doctor demanded, setting his plate on the coffee table to turn to face her properly. "And you've let her go on thinking that, all these months?"

"Mmm," she replied, biting her lip.

"But why does she think I visit you all the time?"

"She…she doesn't know that you do. She kept going on about how I should cut ties with you and that life, because of the danger and all that, so I let her believe I had, just to shut her up. She doesn't understand me, and she really doesn't understand how I can love that life travelling with you. She pops 'round now and then, but we've…drifted. Me and her, we're not as close as we used to be."

The Doctor blinked at her in astonishment. "Is that why I haven't seen her around here? Because you only invite her 'round when you know I'm not going to turn up?"

"Sort of, yeah, but to be honest, she hardly makes the effort to speak to me let alone come and see me, so it's not a regular thing. Listen, why are you so bothered about what Shareen thinks anyway?"

"Because you are so bothered about what Shareen thinks, that's why."

"I'm not," Rose protested.

"Rose, you felt the need to make sure I knew that you wouldn't've given me an 'ultimatum' or get pregnant on purpose, which shows that you took to heart what she said. It hurt your feelings and worried you, hence this very discussion. So of course what she thinks bothers me, because it's obviously hurting you."

"I just — I dunno. It got me thinking, that's all."

"Rose," he said softly. "Don't let her make you feel like this."

She sighed. "I know I'm being stupid. I mean, you were the one who told me that I'd never even be able to get pregnant…" She fixed him with a glare, and he winced.

"Yes, well. That was a mistake, and I'm sorry I didn't make sure before…"

"Too late now," she murmured.

"Yeah." He picked his food back up and started eating again.

There was an awkward silence for a minute or two, before Rose broke it, "It's weird, though. 'Cos I don't regret it."

He met her gaze instantly, something lighting up in his eyes. "You don't?"

"Nope." Then she smiled at him, slowly. "I've got something to tell you."

"What's that?" he asked eagerly, deciding he was done with his dinner and setting it aside again.

"The connection you said I'd feel, to the baby, in my head — it's getting stronger every day."

"Yeah?" he beamed at her.

"Mmhmm."

"What does it feel like?"

"Oh, it's…" she sighed wistfully, closing her eyes. "It's hard to describe how it feels…just feels…safe."

"I'm so glad you're able to feel her. I won't be able to until after she's born." The Doctor grabbed her hand without thought, giving it an excited squeeze. Her eyes popped open and she glanced down. He realised what she was staring at and quickly released her hand. "Sorry," he mumbled, then cleared his throat.

"It's all right," she replied, just as quietly. They watched each other for a few moments. Rose didn't miss the way his eyes kept flickering to her lips.

"I'd have been able to deal with it better, I think," he whispered. "If you were there."

"Deal with what?"

"Being stuck without the TARDIS. I think it would've been easier, if I'd known that I was going to see you again, definitely. Or if you'd been there, with me and Martha. I…"

"You got back," Rose said, giving him a sympathetic smile. "That's all that matters. You got the TARDIS back, and you got back here."

"To you."

"Yeah."

"What if something like that happens again? What if I don't get back, or I get back too late because something goes wrong with the TARDIS?"

"Don't say stuff like that."

"Why not?"

"Because it sort of panics me, all right, to think that I might have to give birth to a half-alien baby on my own," she snapped. He flinched, and she hastily added, "Sorry. Didn't mean to shout. I just — don't even think about all the things that could go wrong. Or at least, don't tell me about them. I'm scared enough as it is."

He frowned. "Are you?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm happy, and I'm…I'm glad that we're having a baby, I just…it's still scary, right?"

"Yes. Yes, it is." He reached for her hand again. "May I?" he said tentatively. She nodded, and he took her hand. "I'm sorry. Everything's going to be fine."

She could tell he was still worried. "Look, if you start to feel really anxious about it, then…well, when the baby's due, you could come and stay here for a few days. You know, just to make sure you don't miss the big event."

He let out a breath of relief. "Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Thanks."

Rose shrugged.

"Rose…" His thumb stroked against hers.

"Mmm?"

He shifted slightly, so that he was a bit closer to her. "I've been thinking…"

She swallowed hard. "Doctor - "

At that point, the doorbell rang, and Rose jumped. She quickly stood, and rushed out of the living room to answer the door. The Doctor clenched his fists for a moment, releasing a long, shaky breath.


	16. Chapter 16

"Martha's here!" Rose called out, as she and Martha came in from the hallway. The Doctor smiled and greeted her, before asking how her family were.

"Argumentative, as usual," Martha said, sounding frustrated. She sat down in the armchair opposite the sofa. "But it was good to see them all the same. Can't believe we were gone all those months, and barely a few days has passed for them. Did the Doctor tell you about it, Rose?"

"Yep," Rose replied, tucking her legs underneath her as she sat back down. "Sounded terrible. How are you feeling?"

Martha shrugged. "I'm all right now. But it was a bit horrible having to live in 1969 - " at this point she eyed the Doctor pointedly, " — when it was bloody hard for people like me to be treated right."

"I couldn't control where we ended up, Martha," he huffed. "It was that Angel's fault, not mine."

"I know," she sighed. "Still. It was hard."

"He can be insensitive about that sort of thing," acknowledged Rose, to which the Doctor pouted. "You've every right to be annoyed with him." She smiled at Martha in solidarity. The Doctor folded his arms. "I also heard that you had to support him whilst he lazed around not bothering to get a job himself."

"Hey!" he squeaked, affronted by her phrasing, feeling like she'd completely twisted his tale.

"Yep!" agreed Martha. "I had to work in a shop whilst he just - "

"Calculated ways of getting us back!" he interrupted.

"Yeah, and it took you long enough, didn't it?" she pointed out.

"I did my best," he muttered.

"Blimey, sounds like you two had a whale of a time being flatmates…" Rose said, raising her eyebrows at their bickering.

"I honestly don't know how you put up with him, Rose," confided Martha not-so-confidentially. The Doctor made another noise of protest. "To be honest, I don't know what you see in him."

"Oi!"

"I'm joking!" Martha laughed. "Well, I'm not completely joking. You're all right, but you're bloody hard to live with."

"You live with me on the TARDIS all right," he grumbled.

"Only because it's massive and I barely see you when we're not adventuring. Living in a tiny flat with you? That's another matter entirely."

"Now you understand why I don't want him living here permanently," Rose smirked. "He'd get so bored and fidgety it would drive me barmy."

The Doctor instantly twisted around to face Rose again. "What? That's the reason you won't let me live with you? Because you think I'd get bored?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "You can't tell me that you enjoyed living in a flat for months."

"Well no, but I didn't have y- " Rose punched him in the arm not-so-subtly, and he cut himself off when he realise how tactless his words would have been, if she'd let him say them. Right in front of Martha's face.

"It's all right, Rose," Martha said, heaving a sigh. "I'm quite aware of how rude he is, now, believe me."

"Did you end up confiscating his bananas? That's what I had to do on more than one occasion," Rose said.

"Because you are pure evil," the Doctor added in, elbowing her. "Whereas Martha is not." Rose elbowed him right back, her attention on Martha's response.

"No, I just refused to cook him any dinner. That usually trained him to be a bit nicer."

"Doctor, you've been around for nine centuries, why couldn't you have cooked the dinner? Seeing as Martha was the one supporting you, and you've got all those years of experience learning to cook?"

Martha's mouth dropped open. "Rose, are you telling me that he can cook?"

"Course he can. He's lived all that time, course he can cook. Makes quite a nice lasagne, actually, although sometimes he forgets to actually put the pasta sheets in, which is a good for a laugh. One time he had to shove 'em in quick, and got cheese and tomato sauce everywhere, and -"

"But — but - " Martha spluttered. She got to her feet angrily and pointed at the Doctor, who was slinking down in his seat like he'd just been caught out. "You told me that you couldn't! That the TARDIS had always cooked for you!"

Rose burst out laughing. But then Martha glared at her, and she quickly stopped, asserting that she was completely on Martha's side so she didn't have to hate her, too. "Just please direct your ire at him, he's the dodgy one," she added hurriedly, gesturing to him.

"You are such a git!" Martha exclaimed, throwing the Time Lord an angry look.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said, widening his eyes in benediction. "Forgive me?"

"Oh my god, those puppy-dog eyes might work on her," Martha said, jerking her thumb in Rose's direction. "But they are not gonna work on me. Well done, Doctor. You've successfully proven to be a right twat."

And then she stormed out of the room.

"See, the thing is, Doctor," Rose murmured, breaking their stunned silence.

"Mm?" he squeaked.

"She's not wrong."

"Mmm."

"And I don't think she's gonna forgive you for the 1969 thing for quite a while."

"Mmm."

She patted his knee. "Just so you know."

"Yes," he sighed, then closed his eyes and threw his head backwards to rest on the back of the sofa.

Rose stood, and started clearing up their dinner. "How are you gonna make it up to her?"

"Fuck knows," he muttered, and Rose gasped, before breaking into giggles. He opened one eye. "What?"

"Just freaks me out a bit when you say things like that."

"It's your bad influence on me."

"Well, whatever the cause, it makes you sound almost like a human bloke."

He harrumphed. "Bet you think that'd be easier, eh?"

"What do you mean?" Rose asked, pausing in her walk to the kitchen.

The Doctor turned his head to meet her gaze from across the room. "Well, if I were a normal human bloke, I wouldn't make such daft mistakes. I'd realise when I was being a git. I'd be able to cope with doing normal things. You'd be much better off - "

"Woah, woah, woah, stop," she said, her eyes widening in horror. "Hold on. Stay right there." She rushed into the kitchen to dump their plates, then went back into the sitting room. "Stop saying stuff like that. Even if you were human, you'd still make daft mistakes and be a git and all that."

"Thanks," he huffed. "So I'm a lost cause, is that it? A hopeless case?"

"Doctor, what's got into you all of a sudden?"

He sighed. "You deserve better."

"Oh, shut up," she said, with affection as well as irritation. She grabbed his hand and gave it a brief squeeze. "Don't start wallowing. Let's watch a film."

They spent the evening together, sitting close to one another on the sofa but not quite touching, save for the occasional few moments of hand-holding. They both privately longed to be closer. Rose wanted to snuggle into his chest like she used to. The Doctor wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her there. But they didn't.

They just sat side by side, watching but not quite focussing on the telly, thinking of all the ways things were different now, and all the ways things would be even more different in the future.


	17. Chapter 17

"Rose?"

"Just a sec!" called Rose from upstairs, when she heard the Doctor enter the house.

The Doctor wandered into the living room to wait for her. He smiled when he saw some carrier bags from Mothercare. Peeking inside, he found a couple of teddies, a rattle decorated with stars, three dummies with pictures of Winnie the Pooh on them, and a tiny pair of Converses. Something constricted tightly in his chest, and he gently placed the bags back on the sofa.

Hearing Rose come down the stairs, he sniffed loudly and turned around to face her. She had her hair up in a pony-tail and she looked a bit flushed. "Everything all right?" he asked her.

"Mmhmm," she said, nodding quickly. "Fine, ta. You?"

"Yep, yeah. Fine. Great. I like the baby things," he mumbled, gesturing at the bags he'd been perusing.

She tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. "Yeah? I couldn't resist."

The Doctor smiled. "The shoes, they – nice touch."

"I thought you'd like them," she beamed.

Swallowing hard, he took a step closer to her.

"How's Martha?" she asked hurriedly.

"Oh, yes, she's fine. She's in the TARDIS."

"Right. You two made up yet?"

"Sort of. I'm still cooking dinner."

"Good; should think so too," she smiled.

He was standing right in front of her, now, and he reached out to touch her bump lightly with the tips of his fingers. "Any more cravings?"

"Custard creams at the moment."

"Oh, well, that's quite a good one."

"Yeah. Running out, though," she said distractedly, staring up at him with wide eyes as he continued to caress her stomach. "I'll have to pop to the…shop."

"Yeah. No, wait, I have some, I think. In the TARDIS. I'll fetch them for you later."

"Thanks," she breathed out roughly. "That'd be lovely." There was a pause where they both stared at each other for a few moments, then Rose broke the silence. "So, um," she began, "Not meaning to be rude, but you said you weren't coming 'til tomorrow. Any reason for the change of plan?"

"Oh. No, I just…sorry."

He took a step backwards, and Rose reached out without thinking, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket. "No, it's all right. I'm glad you're here. I wasn't – I was just wondering, that's all."

"I don't really have a reason."

"Well, that's okay."

"I just missed you, really."

Her lips twitched. "Missed you too."

"You did?"

"Well, yeah." She dropped her hand from his sleeve and started to fiddle with her earring. Her eyes flitted over him and she realised he wasn't wearing his normal suit. "What's with the blue?"

"Fancied a change," he shrugged. "Why, don't you like it?"

"It's…very blue," she smiled.

"You don't like it." He looked disheartened.

She placed her fingertips against one of his jacket lapels to reassure him. "No, no, it's fine. It's great. Different." She paused. "But very blue."

"You can talk," he sniffed. "You're wearing a bright pink top."

"And what's wrong with that?"

His eyes dropped to her chest. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

Rose smirked, then told him, "I have something for you."

His eyebrows lifted. "You do?" he asked hopefully.

"Well, really, it's for the baby. Come and see." She walked into the dining room and picked up a picture frame from the table. "It's a family one. Look, there's a space for each of us. Grandma and Grandad – I'll put Mum and an old one of Dad in there, if that's – do you think that's all right?"

"Of course," he said warmly, his eyes starting to shine.

"And then obviously, me and you," she said, gesturing to the spaces headed with Mummy and Daddy. "The baby's photo goes in the centre, and then it's godparents at the bottom. I hadn't really thought about the godparents thing, but it's tradition, I s'pose, so…we could ask Martha? And maybe Mickey? What do you think?"

"I think that's a lovely idea," the Doctor murmured. Her answering smile made his hearts beat a little faster. "It's a shame there isn't an extra space, though," he said thoughtfully. "As there's a new addition to Team TARDIS."

Her smile faltered. "There is?"

"Yep!" he said cheerfully. "I have someone I'd like you to meet."

"Oh yeah?" she said casually, swallowing hard. "Made another friend?"

"Indeed. Her name's Donna, and she's brilliant. Shall I invite her and Martha up?"

"Yeah, sure," she agreed easily. "I'll stick the kettle on."

"Nah it's all right, I'll do that on my way out," he said, gesturing for her to sit down at the table. "You rest."

"I'm not an invalid," she scoffed, but she sank down onto a chair anyway.

"I know you're not," he said softly. His eyes swept over her protruding belly and he sighed in contentment.

"Soon we'll get to meet him," Rose murmured.

"Why are you so certain that the baby's a he?"

"I dunno, I'm just guessing."

"Well I still reckon it's a she."

"What do you wanna bet?"

"Five quid."

Rose raised her eyebrows.

"All right, ten quid," he amended.

"Done."

He left through the patio doors to fetch Martha and the new girl. Rose nervously tapped her fingers against the table. The way he'd looked so happy when he'd mentioned this Donna –

She frowned, really hoping she hadn't just invited Step-mum to come and visit.

When he returned with them, she stood up and surveyed her perceived rival. Red hair. Older than she'd expected. Human, by the looks of things. Curvaceous. Oh, hell.

"Hi, I'm Rose," she said pleasantly, holding out her hand.

Donna shook it and smiled. "And I'm Donna. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Oh? How long have you been with the Doctor, then?"

"Three weeks," Donna replied with an excited expression on her face. "It's been great!"

Rose turned to the Doctor. "You didn't tell me you'd been gone three weeks."

He tugged on his ear. "Must've slipped my mind."

"You let me think that it'd been four days for you, just like it's been four days for me."

"Sorry," he said quickly. "But you know how it is. Time…got away from me."

Beginning of the end, Rose thought, with a stab of hurt. "Right."

Martha looked and Donna, who looked confused, and mumbled, "Um, we'll go and make the tea," shoving Donna towards the kitchen door.

Once they'd disappeared, the Doctor said, "You've gone and made them feel unwelcome, now."

Rose blinked quickly. "I just - "

"Honestly, Rose, you'll love Donna. She's brilliant!" he said brightly.

"Yeah." She paused. "Time got away from you?"

"What?"

"That's what you just said."

"Well, yeah. Quite a busy few weeks, really, one thing after another and all that. You know what it's like, when we'd tell your mum we'd be gone a few days and then spend months away - "

"So now you're comparing coming to visit me with visiting my mum," she stated, barely able to keep the emotion out of her voice.

"I…no! What? Rose, what's wrong?"

"You were distracted. The way you speak about her…is she…?"

"Is she what?"

Rose gulped. "Well, you know."

"No, I really don't know. What is it?"

"You and her…" she said, letting the sentence trail off.

The Doctor's eyes widened in alarm. "What?! No! Oh blimey, she'd put salt in your tea for even suggesting it!"

She sighed. "I just thought - "

"Why would you even think that?"

"I dunno. Sorry. I – look, you go off for weeks travelling the universe - "

"Only this time, Rose," he said quickly. "Usually I am only gone a few days, apart from what happened in 1969 and now this."

"All right. Well, anyway…it's a big, wide universe out there, full of pretty girls, and - "

"And I'm not interested," he said firmly, stepping towards her. "Honestly, Rose."

"You can't really promise that you won't be at some point, though. And that's - " She took a deep breath, "- that's fine, but I need to know that you won't just…not turn up, one day. For the baby's sake. If you meet someone and that changes, you need to tell me straight away."

The Doctor lifted his hand to her face, cupping her cheek lightly. "Rose, I'm not going to - "

"Don't," she interrupted. "Don't say that, because what if one day you do?"

"Forgive me for this," he murmured, and then before she could say anything else, his lips were on hers. Rose couldn't help it; she kissed him back, opening her mouth beneath his. She leant against the edge of the table and pulled him closer by his jacket.

When they broke apart and tried to catch their breath, the Doctor murmured, "You, Rose. Just you. I think about you all the time, and I - " He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against hers.

"What?" she prompted shakily.

"I miss waking up with you," he whispered.

She smiled, but couldn't meet his eyes.

"I can be surrounded by people and still, I don't feel right. Still, my thoughts come back to you," he continued.

"Doctor…"

He tilted his head back, watching her face. "But I will wait for you. I would wait a thousand years, if that was how long we had, if that was how long it took, to be with you again."

Rose couldn't speak; her voice had gone, something caught her throat. She slowly met his gaze, though, and nodded.

"Shall we invite the others back in?" he asked softly. "I've told Donna all about you. I think you'll get on well."

"Yeah," she said. "Go and get them."

He nodded, and walked into the kitchen. Rose couldn't quite stop a smile spreading across her face.


	18. Chapter 18

“Hi Mum,” Rose greeted Jackie, as her mother opened the door to her flat.

“Hello, love! Come in, come in. Sorry it’s so untidy, I’ve been having a sort out so everything’s a bit upside down. Do you want a cuppa?”

“Ooh, I’d love one, ta,” grinned Rose.

“Well you go and put your feet up and I’ll make us one - ”

“It’s all right, Mum, I’ll do it.”

“Don’t be daft, sit yourself down and relax - ”

Rose rolled her eyes. “I’m not ill, Mum. I can still do basic tasks, you know, even though I’m growing as big as a barge.”

“You’re hardly showing yet! I was massive with you, I was. You were a right porker as a baby,” Jackie chuckled, as they both went into the kitchen and started preparing the tea.

“Cheers,” Rose muttered.

“So how are you feeling, anyway?” asked Jackie, as she filled up the kettle.

“Not too bad.”

“Heard from you know who lately?”

“Yeah, he came ‘round the day before yesterday. Introduced me to him and Martha’s new friend, Donna.”

Jackie hummed.

“What?” asked Rose.

“Nothing, love. So what’s she like, this Donna?”

Rose smiled, leaning against the kitchen counter. She placed a hand on her bump and stroked it gently, out of habit. “She’s a right laugh, actually. I reckon you’d really get on with her, she’s got your wicked sense of humour. And she’s looking forward to being part of the family when this one comes along. Reckons she’s gonna be its favourite auntie.”

“Blimey, you lot get to know each other quick as anything, don’t you?” Jackie remarked.

“Hmm?”

Jackie fetched the milk from the fridge and continued, “Well, all you people who travel with the Doctor, I swear you make friendships with that man like that!” She clicked her fingers for emphasis.

“Well, yeah, I suppose that’s what happens when you’re travelling in close quarters all the time. Get to know each other quickly. And I dunno, I know I don’t really know her myself but the Doctor seems to really like her, so.” She shrugged, then giggled, “She knows how to make an impression on someone, that’s for certain.”

“As long as he doesn’t go forgetting his responsibilities with you and the baby whilst he’s off travelling with these other women.”

The kettle clicked and Rose sighed, reaching for it to pour the hot water into their mugs. “He promised me the other day that he’ll stick by me. I think I believe him, Mum. He’s so…attentive. Even with Martha and Donna there – we all had dinner together – he’s just…I dunno. He included me in all their conversations and kept looking over at me and it just felt…”

“Felt what?” Jackie prompted, when Rose trailed off.

“I doubted before, right, that he’d even come to visit me. But he does. He’s stuck to that. And he still…cares about me, and all that. He misses me.”

“Do you regret giving him the boot?” asked Jackie gently, handing Rose’s mug to her. They left the kitchen and sat down on the sofa together.

“No. I don’t know. He’s – I still don’t know if I can trust him, completely. But I’m sort of more willing to hang out with him now. He’s shown that he still wants that. Wants to just…be with me.”

“And when the baby comes along? Will he stick around then?”

Rose took a sip of her tea to think on that for a moment. “I hope so. I want the baby to grow up with a - ” she cut herself off sharply.

Jackie reached out and patted her daughter’s knee. “It’s all right, darling. You can say that you want a dad to be around for your baby, I won’t get upset.”

“You did a brilliant job, Mum,” Rose murmured, a lump forming in her throat. “I don’t want you to think you didn’t, ‘cos you did. All on your own. And I’ll always be grateful for that. I just don’t think I could do this alone.”

Jackie tried to shower Rose with reassurance, hoping she hadn’t gone and made things worse by planting any seeds of doubt about the Doctor’s intentions. “Well I for one can tell that he’s still arse over elbow for you, so I reckon you’ve got nothing to worry about on that score.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Anyway, I want to know what names you’ve been thinking of for my lovely grandchild.”

“Dunno yet. Mickey dropped off a baby-naming book the other day,” Rose laughed. “He’s being quite good about all this.”

“Aww, he’s a love. Did you have a look through it?”

“A bit. Got to ‘C,’ got a bit bored.”

“Rose, the naming of your child is very important.”

Rose heaved a sigh. “I just don’t think I can tell yet. Not until I see him or her.”

“And what about himself? He got any ideas?”

“Nah, don’t think so. That is, we’ve not talked about it.”

“Has he had kids before?” Jackie said tentatively. “Children who aren’t around anymore?”

“I don’t know. I never asked him.” She chuckled self-deprecatingly, “Guess it felt too personal, a question like that. I mean, he knows everything about me but I sometimes felt like I couldn’t really figure him out. Or ask too much about his past.” She sighed.

“Do you think he’d want to - ”

“Want to what?” Rose asked.

“Well, you know. Do an ‘in their memory’ sort of thing for them.”

“How do you mean?”

Jackie shrugged. “I just think that maybe you should…prepare yourself. In case he wants to name the baby in memory of someone he’s lost.”

“Oh.” Rose frowned. “I…didn’t think of that.”

::

The next morning, Rose and the Doctor met up in the local park for a walk. A few minutes of quietly walking side by side passed by before Rose felt comfortable enough to broach the difficult subject she wanted to speak with him about.

“Doctor,” she started, shoving her hands in her pockets to stop herself wringing her fingers restlessly.

“Yeah?”

“I want to ask you something.”

He recognised that tone of voice. “What’s wrong?”

She swallowed hard and gestured to the bench they’d come to. They sat down, inches of space between them. “Me and Mum were talking yesterday. About the baby.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmm. And she asked me something that I didn’t know the answer to.” She let out a long breath. “God, I never wanted to put you on the spot like this, but…but I think it’s something I need to know. And I’m really sorry if it hurts you, but – but I need to know.”

The Doctor squinted at her in confusion. “Okay. What is it?”

“Have you had children before, Doctor?” His eyes widened and she winced at his expression. “I’m sorry, I just - ”

“Yes. A daughter.”

They stared at each other in silence for a few moments, then Rose replied, “Right. Thank you for telling me.”

“That’s okay.”

Silence returned.

“I abandoned her,” he blurted out suddenly. “Just like my parents abandoned me.”

“What?”

“Well, I mean – the reproduction thing was different on Gallifrey. And, um. Children were raised collectively, in a house separate from their parents until they were older. But that was – it was wrong, and I should’ve - ” He sighed heavily. “I had no interest in being a father, or a husband for that matter. It was all arranged and so formal and constricting and I just – I stole a TARDIS and ran away. I went back eventually and she’d had a daughter herself. Susan. She travelled with me. I tried to make it up to her by looking out for Susan, but…” He shrugged. “In the end, I cocked all that up too. I didn’t see either of them, or Susan’s son, after the War had started. I don’t know how – or when – they died, but -” he cut off, glancing away and blinking quickly.

Rose placed her hand over his, where it was clenched into a fist on his thigh. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“Not your fault,” he said quietly. “But thank you.” He turned back to her then, with something fierce and defiant in his eyes. “I’m going to be better this time,” he vowed. “I’m going to do what’s right. And what’s more, I want to do it properly. I want our baby to know that – that we love - ” he cut himself off, swallowing hard.

She smiled sadly, then murmured, “If it’s a girl, Doctor – if our baby’s a girl – you’ve got to swear to me that you’ll treat her as her own person. I’m so sorry that your daughter and granddaughter died, but…I can’t have my baby competing with ghosts. I need to know that the baby isn’t going to be, I dunno…replacing them.” Tears filled her eyes. “I don’t think I’m brave enough to name her in memory of one of them. Does that make me sound horrible? It does, doesn’t it? Oh, god, I just - ”

“No,” he whispered, raising his hand to her cheek. He brushed his knuckles across her cheekbone gently, collecting her tears. “As if you could ever be horrible. Rose, I understand. I promise that she’ll be her own person, with her own name and her own everything. This – it’s so different from before.”

“But when you’ll look at the baby, won’t you just be reminded of everything you’ve lost?” Rose asked, her voice breaking. Tears coursed down her cheeks and she squeezed his hand tightly.

“I admit that when the War was over, once everyone had gone, I thought that part of me had gone with them. I didn’t expect to ever be a father again. I didn’t expect to meet someone like you and fall in love. But I promise you, Rose: this second chance is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Seeing our baby every day, it won’t make the pain of losing my family worse. It’ll help me, I’m sure of it. Just like you do.”

Her face crumpled and she fell against him, grateful when he wrapped his arms around her and settled his chin atop her head. “I’m sorry for being such a blubbering idiot,” she sniffed against his jacket lapel. “I was supposed to be the one comforting you.”

“Hey, shh, don’t worry,” he murmured, dropping a kiss to her hair. “You comfort me all the time. You’re always the strong one really. It’s good for you to let it all out. That’s what you taught me – that it was okay to break down and let someone hold me for a bit.”

“I was so scared you’d hate me for – for bringing all this up, for saying that I wanted that.”

The Doctor gave her a squeeze. “Nothing you could ever do would make me hate you.”

Rose pulled back from his embrace and wiped at her eyes, giving him a wobbly smile. “Thanks, Doctor.”

He stood up, and grabbed her hands briefly to pull her up next to him before letting go and putting them inside his coat pockets. “Now, I reckon it’s time for chips.”

“It’s only half ten in the morning,” Rose laughed, grabbing a mirror out of her bag as they resumed their walk. She checked her face to make sure her mascara hadn’t run too badly, then popped the mirror back in her bag.

“I have never known you to intimate that you don’t want chips,” the Doctor said, shaking his head. “Who are you and what have you done with my best friend.”

“Fine, we can get chips,” she laughed. “But only if you’re paying.”

::

“Oops, I seem to have forgotten to bring any money,” sighed the Doctor dramatically, as he patted his pockets upon entering the fish and chips shop.

“You’re such a cheapskate,” Rose muttered, retrieving her purse.

“I’m just joshing you,” he grinned, nudging her shoulder with his as he dug into his pocket and waved a fiver at her. “Don’t you just love it that this place opens up this early?”

“That’s ‘cos it’s the best chip shop in the universe,” Rose agreed, inhaling deeply. “God I love that smell.”

The Doctor chuckled and stepped up to the counter to make their purchase.

Some things were turning out much better than she’d expected, Rose mused. She just hoped that he wasn’t putting up a front and still hiding things from her. Each morning or afternoon or day she spent with him felt like progress, lately. She crossed her fingers that nothing would come along to spoil that.


	19. Chapter 19

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Rose muttered to herself, leaning against the front door of her house, as she watched Mickey and the Doctor sauntering towards her. “What’s going on?” she called out to them.

The Doctor shoved his hands into his pockets and paused along the front garden path, his eyes widening innocently. “What do you mean? Nothing’s going on.”

He was definitely up to something.

Mickey shifted awkwardly beside him. “Yeah, dunno what you mean, Rose.”

“I _mean,_ why are you two together? What have you been up to?”

“Nothing,” they said, in unison.

“Bollocks.”

They resumed their walk, coming up to her with matching expressions of faux guiltlessness. “You’re so _suspicious,_ Rose,” the Doctor complained. “Mickey and I were just having a chat, that’s all.”

“You expect me to believe that the pair of you have started hanging out together _voluntarily?”_

“Why, yes,” said the Doctor, patting Mickey on the back. “Mickety Mick and I are good mates, aren’t we, Mickey?”

Mickey’s lips twitched. “Sure. That’s right.”

Rose eyed them curiously, but let it go, pushing the door open all the way. “All right,” she sighed. “S’pose you both want a cuppa, then?”

“Ooh, wouldn’t say no,” the Doctor grinned, moving past her into the house. He headed straight for the kitchen, as usual. She suspected that he would be sorely disappointed to find out that she hadn’t yet replenished her stock of marmalade, which he had polished off on his last visit.

Rose caught Mickey’s arm before he could follow him. “What’s going on, Mickey? Please tell me.”

Mickey smiled at her and slung his arm around her shoulders once she’d closed the front door. “It’s nothing bad, Rose. I promise. Just wait and see, yeah?”

“You know I hate surprises.”

“You know that’s a great big fat lie,” Mickey laughed.

“Fine,” she huffed, wrapping her arm around his waist in a quick half-hug. “But if something goes wrong with whatever it is he’s got planned, you make sure you let me know.”

“I promise I will. Now, where’s this tea you promised me?”

::

After enduring the very surreal experience of sitting with both the Doctor and Mickey in her living room drinking tea and pretending as though they were _normal_ or something, Rose stood up and stretched. “Right, I’m knackered.” She patted her belly. “This one wants a nap.”

“Right, blame it on the kid,” Mickey chuckled.

“So,” Rose continued, ignoring his remark. “Either you two hang out here together or go, yeah? I’m heading upstairs for a kip. If you stay, don’t make too much noise.”

They both nodded dutifully and, satisfied, Rose went up to bed.

The Doctor and Mickey just looked at one another silently for a few moments. Then, Mickey stood. “Right, I’ll be off, then.”

“You don’t have to go,” the Doctor protested half-heartedly.

“Nah, it’s okay. You don’t need me to take her out and distract her now that she’s sleeping. You get cracking with your plan. Ring me or Jackie if you accidentally burn the house down, yeah?”

The Doctor snorted. “I am offended by your insinuation that I am incapable of cooking a simple dinner.”

“Right. Yeah. Well, good luck,” said Mickey breezily, before leaving the house, whistling to himself.

The Doctor sniffed, and headed to the kitchen. For twenty-three minutes, he stared at one of the recipe books Rose’s mother had given her. For a further four minutes, he stared at the contents of Rose’s fridge. Then, he gave up and used Rose’s house phone to call the TARDIS.

Donna answered. “What’s up, Spaceman?”

“So, you know how I was going to surprise Rose with a nice dinner.”

“Yeah?”

“It occurs to me now that I have no idea how to accomplish that.”

“Nine-hundred years and you can’t cook?” Donna asked.

“No, I _can_ cook,” he said, and he heard Martha confirm this to Donna in the background, along with a colourful phrase about how he’d not told her that when they were stuck in 1969. She still hadn’t got over that. “ _Anyway,_ ” he continued, “I can cook, but I just don’t know _what_ to cook.”

“Well, she’s your girlfriend, how am I supposed to know what she likes?” asked Donna. He heard Martha ask Donna to give the phone to her.

“Doctor?” Martha said.

“Yeah?”

“Didn’t she say that she liked your lasagne? Why don’t you just go with that? Something nice and simple.”

“And _predictable_ ,” he complained. “There’s nothing special about lasagne, because I always used to cook lasagne.”

“Well, maybe she’d like that. A bit of familiarity, yeah?” Martha suggested. “From a time when you were happy and together.”

The Doctor huffed.

“Look, I think she’d appreciate that gesture,” Martha said simply. “But what do I know?” She handed the phone back over to Donna, who said, “I think Martha’s right.”

“Fine. Yes. Okay. Maybe she is. But…do you think Rose would realise?”

“Realise what?”

“If I made her that, do you think she’d think it was just something normal or do you think she’d realise it was me trying to, uh…you know. Do something nice for her.”

“Get in her good books, more like,” Donna smirked.

The Doctor rubbed at his eye. “I just, I dunno. I just want to sit down and properly _talk_ to her for once. I realised the other day, when I saw her in the park…she had all these questions and she’s probably got more and she’s so worried, Donna. I didn’t realise how scared she was, not really, not until then. And I haven’t exactly been very forthcoming with information about my life before her. I never have. And she’s the mother of my _child_ for goodness’ sake, she shouldn’t feel that nervous to ask me simple questions.”

“Well, you cocked up, before. Not letting her in. Now’s your chance to change that.”

“I know. Exactly. So this can’t just be rehashing what happened before. It has to be different. New.”

“It’s juts _lasagne_ , Doctor. You don’t have to symbolise your romantic intentions via the food you’re cooking.”

“Right. Yes. I suppose – yeah”

“So get off the phone and crack on with it, yeah? Me and Martha are busy; you’re interrupting.”

He frowned deeply. “What on earth are you doing?”

“We’re having a night in.”

“If you get hypervodka over the library sofas again - ”

Donna tutted. “It’s not like it stained. Anyway, we won’t. We’re heading to the spa.”

“The TARDIS has a spa?”

“Yep! It’s brilliant! We’ll be in there all night, so don’t bother ringing again. Good luck!”

“But I need some more - ” he started, but Donna had already hung up. “Advice,” he finished, to himself, then shook his head. He placed the phone back in its cradle on the wall, and turned back to the kitchen. “Right.”

::

When Rose awoke, it was to the smell of something delicious. Glancing at the clock, noting that she’d taken a longer afternoon nap than usual, she yawned and sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She wondered if her mum had come ‘round to cook for her this evening.

She pulled on her dressing gown and pulled her hair back into a messy bun, then padded downstairs. The lights were off in the hallway and living room, so she went through to the kitchen.

“Oh,” Rose said in surprise, when she saw the Doctor bending down to get something out of the oven. She bit her lip, holding back a grin as she admired that bum in those tight trousers. She couldn’t help it; she really missed seeing that bum every day.

Caught up in his task, the Doctor hadn’t noticed her squeak of surprise, nor the fact that he was being ogled, so she leant against the doorframe and did it some more, staring at his bare forearms where he’d rolled up his shirtsleeves. She watched him discard the oven gloves and peer into the dish, assessing the food he’d just cooked. From the smell of it, she guessed it was his trusted lasagne, which she adored.

Maybe it was the fact she’d just woken up from a nice dream, maybe it was just her hormones because of the pregnancy, or maybe it was that he’d cooked something nice for her and looked incredibly sexy this evening, but she couldn’t help but let out a small moan of delight.

The Doctor froze, and she pressed her lips together to stop herself repeating the sound when he whirled around to face her. He’d taken his tie off, and really, how was that fair, she thought. How was that bloody _allowed?_ He knew she couldn’t resist nibbling on his neck when he had his shirt unbuttoned a bit like that.

“Rose,” he said quietly, reaching up to tug on his ear. “I, uh. Hope this is okay, just wanted to…dinner. Yeah. So, um.”

She forced herself to exhale slowly, fighting against the blush creeping into her cheeks. It was just because he’d been cooking and the kitchen was so hot, she told herself. That was why she was so flushed.

“Thank you,” she replied. “It’s a lovely idea. Smells delicious.”

“Yeah?” he asked, looking hopeful.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Get you, eh? Being all domestic.”

“Well, not really,” he said, wrinkling his nose. His lips twitched and he tilted his head, defending humorously, “Didn’t wear an apron or anything.”

“No, but you wore my oven gloves,” she said, quirking an eyebrow.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Not long,” she insisted. She stepped into the kitchen fully, walking her fingers along the countertop as she walked over to him. “Doctor?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed a bit as she stepped closer. “Yeah?”

“Is it ready?”

“What?”

“The food. Is it ready to be dished up?”

“Oh. Yes, uh. I’ll just fetch the salad.”

Rose started dishing the lasagne onto a couple of plates, then noted that he’d made enough for at least five people. “Are we expecting company?” she asked, while he retrieved the salad from the fridge. She saw him go still out of the corner of her eye.

“No. Why?”

“Just wondered if Martha and Donna were coming, too. You’ve made quite a lot of food.”

“Well, I could always take them a bit back with me later. Or you could save the rest to eat tomorrow. Besides, I didn’t know how big a portion you’d want, you feeding two and all that.”

Rose grinned. “I like that you indulge my new habit of having twice the size of normal dinners,” she laughed.

“You have a healthy, strong half-Gallifreyan in there,” he said simply, putting his hand on her belly without thinking, his thumb stroking softly. “You’re bound to need more food, not only for the baby but because of how much energy of yours the baby’s using up to grow.”

The Doctor realised what he was doing with his hand, then, and dropped it quickly.

“Bit worried I’m not gonna be able to get out of the habit, though,” she admitted, carrying their plates over to the table and sitting down. She smiled a bit when she saw he’d lit a candle in the middle of the table, though he hadn’t bothered with a tablecloth or anything. “Once the baby’s born, I mean. Could end up not being able to catch up with you when we’re running and stuff.”

“Well, you won’t be doing much of that for a while, anyway,” he reasoned, before tucking in to the food.

Rose put her fork down. “What?”

“What?” he repeated with his mouth full.

“Why do you say that?” she asked, shifting awkwardly in her chair.

“Rose,” he said, swallowing his food. “I just meant that I’ll be trying not to get us into situations where we need to run. Can’t exactly do the usual danger thing whilst pushing a pram, can we?”

“Yeah, about all that,” Rose murmured, her fingers tapping against the table nervously. “How’s it gonna work, then? We haven’t really – you know. Discussed it.”

“Thought we were just going to play it by ear.”

She met his gaze, and held it steadily. “Doctor, we need to have some sort of a plan.”

The Doctor sighed. “Yes. I know.”

“I can’t imagine you going around pushing a pram at all, to be honest. Or strapping him into a baby carrier on your chest, or whatever.”

He stared at her for a moment, quite unprepared for the lump that came to his throat. “Oh,” was all he said, when he could get a word out.

“What do you mean, ‘oh?’”

“I…Rose, I said the other day. I want to do this properly. I’m not gonna shy away from things like – like pram-pushing and nappy-changing and feeding, and all that.”

She bit her lip, feeling guilty for having suggested that. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. On impulse, she reached across the table to take his hand, squeezing it apologetically. “I just – it’s hard to picture it, that’s all. Us, on some faraway planet, with Donna and Martha and a _baby_ in tow. It’s gonna be so different from how it was before.”

“But you will be coming,” he wanted to clarify. “Yes?”

“If you’re sure the baby can travel on the TARDIS, then yeah, of course. I just want to know what it’s going to be like, once we’re on board again.”

He exhaled roughly – in relief, she suspected. “We’ll work something out. We’ll be fine.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” he nodded. He turned his hand over so that could link their fingers together loosely.

“Good, because - ” Rose started, then cut herself off.

“Because what?” he asked.

She removed her hand from his, and at first he stiffened, but then he realised that she was just standing up, moving around the table to him. “Because I miss you. And I miss the TARDIS,” she said quietly, standing beside his chair, staring down at him. She picked his hand back up and placed it on her belly. “Here, the baby’s kicking, do you feel it?”

The Doctor nodded, feeling the sensation against his palm but not moving his eyes from her face. “I miss you too.”

Her heart racing, she stood there with her hand over his hand on her bump for a few more moments, before clearing her throat and sitting back down again to finish eating her food. “Anyway,” she said, flashing him a smile as she popped a cherry tomato into her mouth, “What have you been up to these last couple of days?”

Their conversation grew light-hearted over the course of their meal, and soon they were laughing together in much the same way as they used to. At one point, as they reminisced, Rose even found herself laughing so much that tears leaked out of her eyes, something she pointed out to him before adding that she supposed that was better than something else leaking whilst she was laughing so hard. The Doctor laughed even harder at that, and she informed him that it was nothing to laugh about, thank you very much, didn’t he know that having a baby pressing down on one’s bladder was bound to make something like that happen occasionally during a giggling fit. “Or a sudden sneeze,” she finished.

Having finished his food, the Doctor pushed aside his plate and put his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his hands as he stared at her, still chuckling.

“Sexy, eh?” she remarked, stacking her own plate atop his and mimicking his position with a propped up chin.

His eyes grew soft but serious. “Very.”

“Shut up,” she said fondly, shaking her head.

“Well, okay, maybe not the wee thing, but - ” Rose interrupted him with another snort of laughter. He continued persistently, “ _But,_ you are. Sexy, that is. Like this. Like anything, of course, but also like this.”

“What?” she murmured, her giggling fading out.

“Rose, I mean it.”

“What, me sitting here in my pjs scoffing my face with two helpings of dinner and - ”

“Rose.”

“My ankles are getting fat,” she blurted out.

He just smiled at her.

“Even my fingers!” she continued, waving her hand at him. “Can’t even wear rings, now, you know, they are so swollen.”

“Water retention, I expect.”

“But I’ve still got ages to go, you said the other day, when you examined the baby’s progress.”

“Yes. Sorry.”

“No, it’s all right. I just…sort of just want this bit to be over, yeah? Want to see the baby, hold him. Not spend another few months getting bigger and bigger.”

“If it helps, you won’t get any larger than the average human pregnant woman at nine months, even if yours lasts a little longer than that.”

“If I did, it would kill me, you said.”

He frowned at her. “Yes, but you won’t, so you’ll be fine. Your body is adapting to having the half-Gallifreyan inside your womb, anyway. So it’s adjusting to compensate for having a slightly longer pregnancy ahead of you.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. Then she smiled at him, suddenly. “I’ve just remembered, I’ve got something to show you.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm.” She stood up, and grabbed his hand as she walked past him, hauling him up alongside her. “Come upstairs a sec.”

He followed her up the stairs, wondering what it was she had to show him and trying to slow his pulse down to normal because he knew it wouldn’t be anything like _that_. She took him into the nursery, confirming his suspicions, and she showed him the rocking chair in the corner, covered in cushions. “Ta-da,” she grinned. “Got Mum and her fella to get it for me. It’s quite like the one in the TARDIS library, right? And I thought, might be handy, having one here, the rocking might get the baby to sleep and all that, so like, if we get him or her used to it, when we’re to-ing and fro-ing from the TARDIS it won’t feel so different. ‘Cos I was thinking, could we move the rocking chair in the library to the baby’s room on the TARDIS? I know we haven’t really talked much about sorting out the room on there, but – why are you smiling?”

The Doctor had a wide, stupid grin on his face and she found herself mirroring it. “It’s all under control. The baby’s TARDIS bedroom, I mean.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“So we can move the rocking chair?”

“Already done.”

“Oh! Well, that’s great. Great minds think alike,” she said, ducking her head and wondering why she was blushing. She’d only turned the lamp on in here, not the main light, so she couldn’t be sure if the way he was looking at her at that moment meant what she thought it did or not, but it had her feeling flustered anyway.

From where she was looking at the floor, she saw his shadow move closer to her in the dim light, and when she glanced back up he was standing right in front of her. “Can I hug you?” he whispered, and, absurdly, she found herself suddenly close to tears.

“Yeah,” she whispered back. “I mean, if you can do that with this massive lump in between us,” she added, stroking the curve of her belly affectionately.

The Doctor chuckled and wrapped his arms around her as best he could, drawing her firmly against him. She buried her nose in his shoulder and inhaled, trying to be subtle about it. The Doctor, for his part, was not particularly subtle at all when he nuzzled into her hair, his lips hovering very close to the shell of her ear.

She loved hugging him like this, when he was just in his shirt. His sleeves were still rolled up from him cooking earlier, and she wished she’d taken her dressing gown off so that she could feel his bare arms against hers.

He knew she was probably thinking that this was a very long hug, abnormally long, really, but he couldn’t bring himself to let her go just yet. It was the same compulsion to keep her close that saw him quite unintentionally brushing his lips across her ear. They both stilled. Rose didn’t remark on it, though he noticed that she shifted slightly in his arms, turning her head. He thought that was a clear sign that he’d perhaps stepped over the mark unwittingly, until he realised that her nose was now pressing against his clavicle, her lips resting on the nearest skin she could reach through his unbuttoned collar. Her hands felt like they were burning his back through his thin shirt. His hearts started to race again, and he wondered how long she would let them stand like this, wrapped up in one another like they used to be.

Rose eventually lifted her head from his chest and met his eyes. 

“Doctor,” she murmured, moving her hands down his back. She linked her fingers at the base of his spine.

He tilted his head down, and their noses bumped together. “Is this - ” he started.

She didn’t let him finish; she couldn’t resist any longer. That bottom lip had been taunting her all evening, and she decided the only thing to do about that was to take it between her teeth briefly to draw him into a kiss. He let her do just that, and he soon had her backed up against the wall by the rocking chair, his hands in her hair and her fingers raking up and down his back as they shared such a deep, wet kiss that Rose felt it all the way down to her toes.

Rose groaned and clutched at his shirt as he traced his tongue over the roof of her mouth, but she was startled to find that, shortly after he’d extracted such a delicious noise of pleasure from her, he withdrew from the kiss. Stepping back, releasing his hold on her hair, he just looked at her. Both of them were panting, both of them were _extremely_ aroused, and both of them knew that. And yet, he took another step backwards. 

"What?" she murmured, feeling a bit dazed. She pushed herself up from the wall and followed him as he put more distance between them. "What are you doing?"

"Rose, we can’t do this if you’re just going to regret it. I’m not going to take advantage of you."

"What are you talking about? You’re not taking advantage - "

"All evening, your hormones have been all over the place, coursing through your system. It’s understandable, normal, healthy. But I won’t take advantage of the fact that your pregnancy is causing you to be - "

"I wanted to kiss you all night because I _fancy_ you, you idiot. Not just ‘cos I’m pregnant.”

"I know, but we’re not - I want - when we start all that again, I want it to be on a permanent basis. Not just - not just what tonight would be."

Rose rubbed at her temple tiredly. “Right. Okay.” She let out a long breath. “I’ll just go take care of it myself then,” she grumbled, and walked past him, out onto the landing.

"Rose," he called after her, rolling his eyes. "Rose, listen - "

"It’s fine," she said, going into her bedroom. He followed her inside.

"No, it’s not, because now you’re angry with me."

"I’m not angry. I promise. Just a little frustrated, that’s all," she said, taking her dressing gown off and hanging it up. 

He watched her as she moved over to her bed and got beneath the duvet. “You think I don’t want you,” he surmised.

Rose shrugged, and turned off the bedside light. The Doctor flicked the main light on, unwilling to let this lie. 

"Rose, I do. Seeing you like this, carrying my baby? I want you so much I can hardly stand it."

"Then just…" she trailed off, wanting him to either get in bed with her or leave so that she could sort herself out.

"No," he said, shaking his head sadly. "Because I know you’re just going to push me away again in the morning. And I can’t - "

"You can talk!" she interjected, before she could stop herself. She flung back the duvet and stood back up, wincing a bit with the abrupt movement. "How often, early on in our relationship, did I have to deal with your hot and cold act, eh? How often did I have to lie in bed at night wondering if that was gonna be a night where you’d join me, or a night where you’d deny that we were even having sex?" He stared at her in astonishment. "How often did I have to wait and wait and wait for you to say the words, only to hear them when it was too late, when you’d already fucked this up?"

"Rose, please," he said quietly, striding over to her. "You’ve no idea how much I regret not telling you I love you until - "

"Until you were trying to get me back," she huffed, folding her arms.

"But you knew! You knew. Of course you knew. I didn’t think - I thought I had all the time in the world to - "

"So many times, Doctor, you kept pushing me away. Inviting Mickey along when I didn’t want you to, forcing distance between us. And then, with what happened with - with her, using her to push me away again just because you got bloody scared. As if I’m not! As if I wasn’t terrified, thinking I was pregnant with a baby that you wouldn’t even want because you could barely admit you were even sleeping with me!”

She was crying now, and the Doctor was horrified. “Rose, why haven’t you - I didn’t know - you should have told me this before.”

Rose wiped at her eyes, glaring at him fiercely, as though trying to glare away the pity in his eyes. “Is it any wonder that I’m so reluctant to let you back in, Doctor? When you barely let _me_ in before all this started in the first place?”

His throat closed up and he fought for some words to make this right, to make this better. They had been having such a nice evening, and - “Rose, please, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But I’m trying to make it up to you.” He stroked her hair back from her face, and cupped her cheeks. “Rose, I promise I will make this right.”

"But the thing is, you couldn’t do that before, for me," she murmured. "But suddenly, since the baby, you’re all about telling me stuff and being all affectionate and I just…"

"Was what we had before really so bad?" he asked her in confusion. "I thought what we had was beautiful."

"Doctor," she protested, wiping her nose. 

"You have to understand, what we had before - okay, so maybe I didn’t put a name to it until it was too late, but I knew I loved you, and what we had, that was so intimate, Rose, much more intimate and much more loving than anything I’ve ever had before." Her bottom lip quivered and he stroked his thumb across it. "I’m sorry I messed up," he said earnestly. “I made a mistake. But I can assure you, Rose Tyler, I will never make a mistake like that again.”

Rose blinked quietly at him for a few seconds, then nodded. “I’m just so frightened of starting things back up again and the same cycle repeating.”

"It won’t," he whispered fiercely. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and drew her into a hug much like the one they had shared earlier, except this time, Rose’s nose was a bit snotty where she pressed it against his chest. He told her this, and she let out a reluctant laugh. 

"I do want to be with you again," she admitted quietly. "I do. Properly. Not just for one night. But it’s hard to - I dunno. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just can’t, I can’t think about more than one day at a time, not right now.”

"I know." He dropped a kiss to the top of her head. "I know."


	20. Chapter 20

Donna and Martha dropped the shopping bags and sprawled across the sofa. Rose followed them into the room, laughing at their exhausted postures. “Imagine how I feel, having to carry around an extra person,” she pointed out, sitting in the armchair opposite them.

“Dunno how you do it,” Donna retorted. “I’m knackered. And I spent too much.”

“Don’t worry about that, it’s the Doctor’s millions,” Rose dismissed airily. “Right, anyone want a drink?”

“Have you got any wine?” asked Martha.

“Yeah, think I’ve got a bottle of white somewhere in the fridge,” Rose nodded.

“I’ll get it,” said the Doctor, making them all jump.

“Where’d you spring from?” asked Donna, hand to her chest to show him that he’d almost given her a heart attack.

“I was in the kitchen.”

“Doing what?” asked Rose cautiously.

“Eating.”

“Eating what?”

He gulped. “Marmalade.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Did you use a spoon?”

“…yes?”

“You used your fingers, didn’t you.”

“Perhaps. Sorry.” He looked very sheepish.

She shook her head at him in fond exasperation. “Get us the drinks and we’ll see if I forgive you.”

“I will, but I shan’t be giving you any wine; you’re pregnant, remember.”

She gestured to her belly. “Could hardly forget! And I’ll have a cuppa, ta.”

The Doctor nodded and left the room. Martha and Donna were watching Rose suspiciously.

“What’s wrong?” Rose asked them, brow furrowing.

“Nothing,” Martha answered quickly.

Donna gave a more detailed explanation. “Just wondering when you and him are gonna get back together.”

Rose grew flustered, her thoughts straying to the heated kiss they had shared four days ago. That night had certainly thrown up some similar questions. Still, Rose didn’t particularly want to share such information with her friends. Trying to be light-hearted about it rather than dwelling on the emotional conversation — well, argument — that she and the Doctor had endured over this very topic, she answered, “He drives me mad. Why would you think I’d want him living here on a permanent basis?”

“Because he would. He’d do anything you asked him to,” answered Martha.

“Don’t be daft,” Rose said, rolling her eyes.

“He would,” Donna insisted, backing Martha up. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll demonstrate when he comes back in.”

“What are you gonna do?” Rose asked warily.

“You’ll see,” chuckled Donna.

When the Doctor returned with the wine for Donna and Martha, and a cup of tea for Rose, he made to sit down on the other armchair; but Donna briefly interrupted his action with a request. “Doctor…”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t suppose you could rustle up some sandwiches, could you?”

He scoffed and sat down anyway. “What am I, your servant? Not my fault you’ve worn yourself out shopping.” He nodded his head towards the kitchen and propped his feet up on the coffee table. “Plenty of bread out there, I’m sure Rose won’t mind you helping yourself.”

“Fine,” Donna huffed. “I was only asking because Rose mentioned that she was hungry, and I thought you could get something for all of us.”

The Doctor’s eyes widened. “Oh. Sorry.” He hastily got to his feet, and Rose hid her amused smile behind her mug. “What do you want in it?”

Trying not to laugh, Rose replied hopefully, “Um…marmite and cheese?”

Martha let out a noise of disgust. “Rose, your cravings are revolting.”

“It’s got nothing to do with her cravings, Martha; she’s always liked marmite and cheese sandwiches. They are surprisingly nice. She got me hooked.” He left to make them.

Donna burst out laughing once he was out of earshot. “See! Told you! He does bugger all for me and Martha - ”

“Except take you travelling around space and time,” Rose pointed out wryly. Martha giggled.

“Well yeah, apart from that.”

“It’s just ‘cos I’m pregnant and he feels responsible,” Rose shrugged. “It’s like he reckons he’s on a nine-month penance or something, trying to make it up to me. Especially as we don’t even know if it will be only nine months…”

“You’re definitely not as big as you ought to look for an almost-eight-months pregnant human,” Martha pointed out. “So I reckon you’ve still got a couple of months to go.”

“Ugh,” Rose grumbled, running a hand through her hair. “That’s what the Doctor said when he examined me the other day. Says the baby is progressing fine, just…more slowly than a completely human baby.”

Donna nodded triumphantly. “All the more reason for you to move him in. He’s got to make it up to you somehow, considering he’s got it easy being the dad and not having to carry the kid.”

“But he’s busy travelling with you two most of the time. Not much point him living here if he’s not here that often anyway, is it?” she reasoned.

“He’s like a different person when he’s here,” mused Martha.

Donna nodded in agreement. “He completely is!” she realised. “He acts so — so - ”

“Human?” Rose remarked, arching an eyebrow.

“Sort of, yeah.”

“He can only play human a little bit at a time. And that’s how I like it.”

“But what about…” Martha trailed off meaningfully, waggling her eyebrows.

“Yuck, Martha, don’t ask about that,” said Donna.

“Ask about what?” asked Rose, confused.

“Well, some women have a higher libido whilst they’re pregnant,” Martha explained. “So we were just wondering — and you can stop pulling that face, Donna, because you were so talking about this too, last night — we were wondering whether on his visits, he, you know…”

Rose’s mouth dropped open, and then she promptly shut it and said in a low voice, “Are you asking if he comes here to — to — to service me?”

“Well, I wouldn’t put it quite like that,” Martha said.

“But essentially, yes,” Donna added impatiently. “So?”

“No!” Rose assured them vehemently. She pushed the memory of him snogging the life out of her and looking so gorgeous that night out of her head, because that had been a one-off, a lapse in judgement, and it wasn’t to be repeated anytime soon. Well, if he had anything to say about it, apparently. She wouldn’t mind — but no. He’d been right. They shouldn’t start that up again until she was ready to take him back completely. It wouldn’t be fair on either of them. 

To Martha and Donna, she just said, “We don’t — we aren’t — we’re not like that.”

The other women pointedly glanced at her belly. “You must’ve been at some point.”

“Well, yeah, obviously, but not now. You know that we aren’t together right now. At this…present moment in time.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t still do it.”

“Can’t still do what?” asked the Doctor curiously, as he re-entered the room.

Donna hid a grin and said casually, “Oh, we were just saying that just because Rose is pregnant, doesn’t mean her sex life has to suffer.”

The Doctor promptly dropped the tray of sandwiches he’d been carrying, and all three women burst into hysterical laughter.

“Donna!” he whined, bending down to pick up the food. Luckily most of it had stayed on the tray as it had been a clean and swift drop. He dumped it onto the coffee table and straightened, folding his arms in a huff. “Will you three please stop laughing?” They didn’t. He looked over at Rose beseechingly. “Please? Rose?”

“Seriously, though,” said Donna, as she composed herself. “If you have needs, you have needs, Rose.”

Rose buried her face in her hands as she felt it heat up in embarrassment.

“Excuse me,” said the Doctor sternly. “But I don’t see how that is any of your business, Donna Noble.”

The subject was, thenceforth, dropped. But every so often Donna and Martha shared a giggle about it.

And the Doctor couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation all night. He also kept thinking about the events of four days previous. He sort of regretted the fact that he’d been the one to stop them going further than the kiss, that night, even though he knew it was logically the right thing to do. He was, he admitted to himself, slightly impatient for things to get back to normal in that department, but it was no use them having a one-night-stand or several and then her pulling back again because she still didn’t trust him. He couldn’t just have a fling with Rose Tyler; she was the mother of his baby and the most important person in his life. It was good, he thought, that they had at least had a bit of a row, got things out in the open for once. He knew that they had been especially bad at the communication thing lately. Well, always, really. He admired how honest she was with her emotions that night. And now he knew how she felt. That she wanted to be with him again, definitely, but that she still needed time. And, like he’d told her before, he had plenty of that. Would wait however long it took.

When Martha and Donna retreated to the TARDIS later in the evening, lugging all their shopping with them, the Doctor moved from his seat over the other side of the room to sit with Rose on the sofa. Rose, however, stood up almost the instant his bum hit the seat, and started cleaning up the glasses and plates from the coffee table. The Doctor hoped that wasn’t a deliberate evasive manoeuvre. He stood, too, and helped her clean up in silence. He even helped her with the washing up, which he never did, just to be close to her whilst he gathered up the courage to pursue a meaningful conversation.

It wasn’t until Rose dropped a glass on the floor that he realised that her wet, soapy hands were shaking.

“Oh, god,” she mumbled, attempting to bend down to clear it up.

“Here, don’t be daft, get up,” he said, steering her to the table with his hands on her back. “Sit down, I’ll sort it.”

“Sorry,” she said, wiping her hands on the tea towel he chucked in her direction.

He flashed her a reassuring smile. “It’s fine.” He bent down with the dustpan and brush to carefully clear up the mess, ensuring there would be no glass left on the floor for her to step on later, and said, hesitantly, “So, um. Are you all right?”

“Yeah. Sorry. Just a bit nervous, I s’pose,” she confessed, wringing the tea towel in her hands.

“Nervous?”

She swallowed hard. “This is the first time we’ve been alone to talk since what happened the other day.”

“Right,” he said, exhaling roughly. “Well, that’s — that’s - ” He stared at the remaining shards of glass on the floor. He wanted to tell her that she didn’t need to feel nervous, but the truth was, he was nervous too.

“After you left that night, I was so scared I’d messed everything up even more,” she said, her voice very quiet.

The Doctor looked up at her in alarm. “What? No. No, I’m glad you said what you said.”

“I was a bit…harsh. About what our life was like before. I didn’t mean — I loved it, being with you, you know that, yeah? But it was difficult. Sometimes I felt like I didn’t know if I was coming or going.”

He nodded, emptying the bits of glass on the dustpan into the bin, then popped it back in its rightful place in the cupboard with the brush. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, coming over to her. He knelt down in front of her, placing his hands over hers on her belly. “I really am.”

Rose reached out and ran her hand through his hair, and laughed a little when he closed his eyes. “You’re like a cat,” she whispered.

“I resent that notion,” he murmured.

“But you do like being petted.”

The Doctor chuckled. “What can I say, you have magical hands.” His eyes popped open and he went a bit pink. “I didn’t mean - ”

“It’s fine,” Rose laughed. Her fingers moved from his hair to stroke his blushing cheek.

“I mean, you, uh, you do, but that wasn’t - ”

“I said it’s fine, Doctor.”

“It’s just, what Donna and Martha were teasing you about earlier…I’m sorry about that. I’ll tell them not to embarrass you - ”

“I think they were trying to embarrass you, really. But they don’t know, do they?”

“Don’t know what?”

“What almost — the other night.”

“No, of course not.”

“They think it’d be easy for us to just slip right back into that sort of thing.”

“Mm.”

“And sometimes I think it would be, too. Sometimes,” she confided, moving both her hands to his tie, fiddling absently. “Sometimes I wish we could just shag away all our problems.”

The Doctor, not expecting this statement, barked out a surprised laugh. Recovering, he replied, “Well, yes, that would be quite nice. But maybe a bit unsustainable.”

“Yeah.” She dropped her hands to her knees. “I think I’m ready for sleep, if that’s all right.”

“Of course.” He jumped up from his crouching position and held out his hands, pulling her up.

“Ta,” she smiled, then leant up and gave him a peck on the cheek. “When will you come see me next?”

“At some point over the weekend, maybe?”

“Sounds good.”

“Good.”

She squeezed his hands and let go. “Night, then, Doctor. Thanks for, um, not letting things be too awkward.”

“Goodnight,” he smiled back. He watched her go, then sat down in the seat she’d just vacated, sighing softly to himself. Sniffing, he glanced around Rose’s kitchen, wondering how things had changed so dramatically for them so quickly. Here he was, sitting in Rose’s house, which she slept in alone, separate from him, whilst carrying his child. How had he let that happen? How had he done something so stupid and, subsequently, lost the chance to live this life with her properly for the duration of the pregnancy?

Still, at least she wanted to come home to the TARDIS once the baby was born. That was a very promising start.

The Doctor stood up, turned out the light, and left, knowing he was going back to a ship containing two of his best friends, but feeling lonesome all the same.


	21. Chapter 21

Rose looked up from her paper to see Martha tapping on the patio doors. Grinning, she went over to let her friend in. "Hi Martha," she greeted her warmly. "Everything all right?"

"Yep! Just wanted to bring you these," Martha replied, handing over a carrier bag with the medicinal massage oils she'd told Rose she would fetch her from Glaxico Four. "Should clear up your backache in minutes!"

"Oh, you're a lifesaver, thanks Martha." Rose put the bag on the table and enveloped Martha in a hug. "Want to stay for a cuppa?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice. Donna's off visiting her family and the Doctor's tinkering, but he'll be in to see you in a bit, he said."

"Great! So what have you been up to?"

Once Rose had made the tea and heard all about her friends' latest trip to Moscow, she and Martha sat down in the living room and opened a pack of biscuits.

"So the Doctor's been listening to Einaudi a lot lately," Martha commented.

"Who's that?"

"An Italian pianist. The Doctor says he's the greatest composer of our time and that we ought to meet him."

Rose smiled. "The Doctor's always loved music. Classical, punk, rockabilly - you name it. I even heard him singing a Kylie song in the shower once."

Martha laughed. "He said he's a dab hand at composition himself."

“Pfft, have you heard him compose a piece of music though?” Rose snorted. “I’ve never heard anything more awful.”

“Oh surely he can’t be that bad. He’s had nine centuries to learn!”

“You’d think.”

“But he thinks he’s so brilliant! Kept going on about his talent at it the other day!”

“That’s ‘cos I placated him with a smile and a ‘well done’ once, so that I didn’t hurt his feelings, and now it’s his favourite hobby. I’ve never regretted anything as much as I regret doing that.”

A few minutes after the women had stopped laughing about the Doctor's musical ability or lack thereof, the man himself walked in, nicked a few custard creams off the coffee table, and plonked himself down in an armchair.

"Hello," Rose said, with raised eyebrows and twitching lips.

"Hello," he replied, the word muffled through his chewing of the two biscuits in his mouth.

"Tinkering all done?"

He shrugged. "For now. Donna just rang, said she's coming over 'cos her Mum and Wilf have gone on a coach trip to Dorset. They left a note on the fridge apparently. Well, Wilf did. I think Sylvia's still a bit miffed that Donna didn't go to see her last time we were in town."

"Talking of mums," Rose said, "Mum wants to know if you're gonna pop 'round to hers to build her a new coffee table." She narrowed her eyes. "She said you landed the TARDIS on her other one when you sneaked in to steal some more of her shepherd's pie."

The Doctor had the grace to look a bit sheepish. "Ah."

"Mmm."

"Well, maybe we could go to hers together later," he suggested casually, shrugging a shoulder. "Yeah?"

Rose offered him a small smile. "Yeah, all right." Her smile widened. "You know, that's the second coffee table of Mum's you've broken."

The Doctor frowned. "That first time was hardly my fault, and you were just as responsible."

Martha pitched in curiously, "What happened?"

"Rose and I fell on it."

Martha blinked. "Er..."

"The first time I visited the flat, actually!" he said brightly, remembering the time fondly.

"There was an incident with a plastic arm," Rose said, rolling her eyes. "And we couldn't get it off and - never mind."

But the Doctor was insistent on telling Martha the story of how he and Rose met, so Rose let him get on with it and listened with a small smile on her face as he embellished certain elements and skirted around the issue of his previous self's appearance. Once Donna arrived, he continued to recount tales of Rose's time on the TARDIS. Rose pitched in here and there at first, but the conversation quickly put a lump in her throat, so after a while she excused herself, saying she had a few things she had to get done.

The Doctor, noticing Rose's hasty departure, left Martha and Donna chatting in the living room and followed Rose out to the front garden, where she was attempting to heave a couple of rubbish bags to the pavement ready for collection.

“What are you doing?” he asked her in horror, hurrying after her and taking the bin bags off her. “You shouldn’t be lugging those about in your condition.”

“It’s rubbish day, I forgot,” she said. “And I’m fine, they aren’t even that heavy - ”

“You should have just asked me to do it,” he replied, putting them in place.

Rose sighed and shook her head. “Anything else you want to do for me?”

“What do you need doing?”

She smiled. “Nah, it’s all right. I get Mickey to do some odd jobs now and then, and - ”

“Oh you do, do you?”

“Yeah.” She frowned. “You know, like cutting the grass, stuff like that.”

The Doctor huffed as they stepped back inside the house.

“What are you grumpy for? You can’t tell me you’d want to mow the lawn.”

He wrinkled his nose up. “Well, no, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to ask your mates to help instead of me.”

She bumped his upper arm with her shoulder. “You can do the weeding in the back garden if you like.”

He sighed deeply. “Right.”

“I’m joking, you don’t have to really.”

“I don’t mind - ”

“There aren’t any weeds anyway, so you’re safe for now.”

“Oh.”

Rose started putting on her coat, and popped her head around the doorframe to the living room. “Girls, I’m off out to buy a few baby things. Do you need anything?”

“Nah, we’re all right Rose. But did you want us to come with?” Donna asked.

“No, you two stay here. Make yourselves at home,” Rose smiled. “I won’t be long, just an hour or so. Then we’ll get some lunch, yeah?”

“Sounds nice,” agreed Martha.

Rose turned back to the Doctor. “I do need you, though.”

“Makes a change,” he grumbled.

“Aww, don’t be like that, Mr Grumpyface.” She pushed him playfully out of the door. “You’re gonna carry the shopping. That should make you feel useful.” Calling out, “See you later Martha, Donna!” Rose closed the front door and they made the way back down the garden path.

They were silent for a few moments.

“It’s not my favourite hobby, you know,” he murmured suddenly. His favourite hobby actually consisted of Rose and him being naked. Well, not necessarily naked, but certainly naked enough for particular activities -

"What?"

"Composing," he clarified, putting emphasis on the 'p.'

She looked at him in alarm. “You heard what I said earlier?”

He nodded. "Came in through the back without you hearing me, evidently."

“Oh, god. I’m so sorry. I was exaggerating, anyway — ”

“No you weren’t,” he chuckled. “And that’s okay. Listen, you can be honest with me, you know. You can tell me anything.”

“I just didn’t want to upset you. You love it.”

He shrugged. “I can acknowledge that I’m bad at it and still love it. I just wouldn’t’ve gone on about how good I was if you’d told me the truth.”

She smiled at him sheepishly. “I’m sorry. I promise to tell you next time I think you’re awful at something.”

“Thank you,” he said primly, then burst out laughing. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and tugged her so that she was pressed against his side as they walked.

“Am I forgiven, then?”

“Of course you are.” He dropped a kiss to the top of her head.

“So are you gonna stop being grumpy?”

“Consider it done.”

“Good,” she said, pleased.

“So, what’s on the list for today?”

“Buggy, bottles, and baby clothes.”

“Ah, alliteration, I’m impressed. You’re definitely a woman after my own heart, you are.”

Rose rolled her eyes and hid a smile. "You know, you talking about our - our adventures. It got me all nostalgic," she admitted.

His grip on her shoulders loosened, but only so that he could slide his arm down, wrapping it lightly around her waist instead. Rose's pulse quickened, but she didn't tell him to move it, didn't want him to move it.

"Should - should I not talk about it? With them, I mean. Or - well, at all."

"No, it's all right, course you can talk about it. I'm just a bit..." she trailed off, shrugging, and then shifted her arm. It had been dangling uncomfortably between them as they walked, but when she moved it, it was to mirror his own arm's location, sliding it around his back. Her hand gripped the hip furthest away from her to hold her arm in position, and both of them resolutely pretended there was nothing unusual about them walking together in such away these days.

"Just a bit what?" he murmured, looking down at her in concern.

"Jealous? I think. And - well, a bit lonely."

"I could - "

"Hmm?"

"I could stay," he rushed out. "For a bit. If you want."

"Nah, it's all right. I know you've got to be out there, taking care of the universe. And I'm fine with that! Really. It's how it's meant to be. And if I wasn't pregnant, well, I'd be out there too and it wouldn't matter in the least that we can't see each other every day because we would be seeing each other every day." She swallowed, a bit unsure about whether she ought to be saying all this.

"Rose, it won't be too long and you'll be back on board," he said, his voice low and sincere. "And I'm very much looking forward to that. If, that is, that's still - you know, what you want."

"Yeah! Obviously. Of course. Just hope that I haven't lost my touch," she said, trying for a smile.

"At what?"

"Travelling. Saving the world. All that."

"Nah, course you haven't. You're Rose Tyler."

"There's a Mothercare down here, there's a nice pram I want to look at," she said absently, gesturing down the road, and they headed towards the shop. "So when I'm back, will Donna and Martha mind? I mean, it'll be a change of pace, right? For a bit, at least. What with the baby. Unless - they won't want to leave, will they?"

"I shouldn't think so. They both sound very excited by the prospect of you and the little one joining us."

"Really?" Rose asked, fiddling with her earring.

"Yep." His mouth tipped into a bit of a smirk. "Donna even insinuated that she'd be happy to babysit for us if we - " he cut himself off abruptly and changed the course of his sentence, "- uh, if we wanted a day off."

"Oh," Rose smiled. "Well, that's really nice of her."

"Yeah." They'd reached the shop, so he let go of Rose to open the door, then guided her through with his hand low on her back.

"Bet it'll feel weird for you, having a TARDIS so full."

"Good weird," he replied with an excited grin. A display of babygrows with variations on the theme of 'Daddy's Little Star' caught his eye, then, and he unconsciously gravitated towards it, his grin fading into something softer. He shoved his hands into his pockets and just stared. Rose watched him curiously, intrigued by his reaction.

"Rose, we're having a baby."

Rose laughed, and patted her large bump. "Are we really?"

He pointed to the baby clothes adorned with the words that were to be his and Rose's new names. "We're going to be parents."

"Yeah."

"The baby is going to call us things that aren't Doctor and Rose."

Rose looped her arm through his. "Yep. How do you feel about that?"

He swallowed hard, but lifted his hand up to rest over hers on his bicep. "Before, I wasn't - I was never that," he said, nodding his head towards the clothes. "I was never 'daddy.' But this baby will be human and it will call me that and I - " He turned his gaze onto Rose, looking down at her with eyes filled with something a bit like confusion and something a bit like fear. "Do I even deserve to be called that?"

"Doctor, you're going to be a great dad," Rose said, resting her cheek against his shoulder as she looked up at him. "And you absolutely deserve to be called that."

He sniffed and looked back at the babygrows. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Let's buy a few of those," Rose said. "In different colours and stuff."

"Only if we get the 'Mummy' ones too."

"Okay," she laughed. "Let's do it."


	22. Chapter 22

After the Doctor and Rose had dropped off their shopping and had lunch with Donna and Martha, they headed over to Jackie’s flat together.

"Ooh, both of you visiting at the same time! That makes a change," remarked Jackie, when she opened the front door.

Rose arched an eyebrow. “Just how often are you over here?” she asked the Doctor.

"Er…"

"Whenever he wants some proper food," Jackie snorted, ushering them into the living room.

"Are you saying what you get at my house isn’t ‘proper food?’" Rose asked next, sitting down next to the Doctor with folded arms.

"That is not at all what your mother means. Nope. Definitely not. You cook some lovely stuff. So do Martha and Donna. And I’m a dab hand myself, of course. It’s just, sometimes, I dunno." He sighed and shot Jackie a glare. "All right, fine, Jackie’s shepherd’s pie is my favourite, I said it. There. Happy?"

"Yes!" Jackie grinned. Then, she confided to Rose, "I’ve been trying to get him to admit that for months!"

Rose shook her head fondly, laughing. “I can’t believe you two. Who’d’ve thought it, eh? My Mum and the Doctor: friends.”

"Oh, well, let’s not go that far," muttered the Doctor, at the same time as Jackie wrinkled her nose.

"Yeah, maybe not that," Jackie agreed.

"You can’t fool me," Rose grinned. "So, the Doctor’s here to sort out your coffee table. What’s say you and me put the kettle on, Mum?" She gave Jackie a significant look, gesturing with her head to the kitchen.

When they were in the kitchen, Rose closed the door and the hatch between the rooms and turned to her mum, beaming.

"What is it?" Jackie asked, her eyes lighting up. "You look like you’ve won the lottery!"

"It’s the Doctor. He’s being…oh god. Mum. He’s been perfect today. We went shopping for some baby stuff, and he just…melted. He can’t wait to be a dad, I can tell. And he’s gonna be so good and so loving and I just - "

"Woah, woah, slow down," Jackie laughed, squeezing Rose’s arms. "This sounds lovely, Rose. I’m happy for you. But do you think…"

"What?" Rose asked breathlessly, eyes wide and happy.

Jackie’s grin softened into something wise and knowing. “Don't you think it’s time you and the Doctor got back together? Properly? It’d be so good if you two could experience all this as a team. Maybe he could stay on Earth for a bit, you two could try your hand at playing a normal family, and - “

"Oh. Oh, Mum, that’s not - we’re never gonna be a ‘normal’ family. You know that, right? We’ll be here on Earth sometimes, but we’re not gonna give up our life on the TARDIS. That’s what we love, and what the baby will want to be part of…"

Jackie nodded, biting her lip. “Right. Yeah, no, I know.” She pasted a big smile on her face. “Who _is_ normal, anyway? No such thing, is there!”

"Exactly," Rose said softly. "Mum, come here." She drew Jackie into a hug. "I know how you’re feeling."

"Hmm? What’s that then, love?" Jackie said quickly, pulling back and turning to fill the kettle up.

"You’re feeling left out."

"Don’t be daft."

"I know, ‘cos I’ve felt like that before, too. But Mum, he loves you, you know. You’re very much part of our bonkers family, all right? And the Doctor knows that. We might whiz about the stars, and the TARDIS might be our home, but so’s this. This flat - you. My house, too. So we’ll always be back."

"I just worry a little bit, sometimes, that’s all," Jackie murmured, concentrating her gaze on the mugs on the counter. "I’ll meet my grandchild ‘cos you’ll have him or her here. But then you’ll be back in that box. And, I dunno, I just think that maybe you’ll come back one day and that baby will be twelve and I’d have missed it all."

"Oh, Mum, don’t be silly! We’ll be gone a few weeks at a time, max. I promise. I love you, Mum, and I need you.” She wrapped her arm around Jackie’s shoulders, squeezing lightly. “You’re gonna be the best grandma ever.”

"I can kid myself, sometimes, that things are all…ordinary. The Doctor popping ‘round for tea like a proper son-in-law. You asking for tips about the pregnancy. Telling Bev about the names you’ve been considering. All that…but you’re right." She turned to Rose, and held her hands. "I wouldn’t want anything else. Any other family. You lot, you’re _extra_ ordinary, and so special, and I’ll get used to it.” She sniffed, and hugged Rose again. “Besides, poor Bev’s daughter emigrated. Barely sees her, or the grandkids! And her son-in-law might not land his spaceship in her living room and break her coffee table, but he don’t come ‘round hers for a cuppa either. And he certainly don’t love her daughter as much as him in there loves you.”

"You can’t possibly know that," Rose laughed wetly, her eyes shining.

"I do. I do, I do, I do. Hmm, speaking of ‘I do’…"

"No, Mum," Rose laughed again, pulling out of the hug. "Me and him aren’t getting married."

Jackie shrugged. “Worth a shot!”

::

That night, Rose settled on the sofa with a pizza and watched telly, perfectly content. They’d left her Mum in happy spirits and gone back to Rose’s house together, and when the Doctor was about to return to the TARDIS, he’d kissed her on the cheek in farewell.

She glanced over at the pile of baby stuff she hadn’t yet taken up to the nursery and smiled. He’d been so happy today, so excited, even over mundane stuff like which bottles and dummies to buy. Each step they took towards their new life brought them closer, and as Rose nibbled on a slice of her Hawaiian, she considered how much longer she could honestly wait before things between her and the Doctor went back to normal.

Dozing off to happy thoughts, she tiredly pressed standby on the remote and let herself fall asleep on the sofa.

::

The Doctor dropped to the floor next to the sofa and shook her gently awake. “Rose? Rose?” he whispered urgently.

Blinking her eyes open slowly, she sat up, and yawned loudly. “What’s going on? It’s the middle of the night!”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, I just – I had to see you, I - ” he broke off, his eyes welling up.

Once she realised that he looked like he could cry at any moment, Rose’s eyebrows shot up her forehead. “Oh my god, what’s happened?” she asked quickly, wrapping her arms around him in a loose but comforting hug.

“I – there was this – I - ” he stammered, unable to voice the experience.

“Hey, it’s all right,” she whispered soothingly, stroking the back of his neck. “It’s all right, I’m here, I’ve got you.”

He took in a few steadying breaths. “We went to this planet called Midnight,” he murmured. “Donna and Martha stayed at this spa hotel thing and I went on a – on a day trip, and - ”

“Is one of them hurt?” she asked, worry evident in her voice.

“No, no, they’re fine, they had a great time. I wish I’d stayed with them, I…” He closed his eyes, clutching her tightly. “Oh blimey, Rose, it was awful.”

He was still kneeling on the floor, and Rose thought he was probably uncomfortable, so she scooted over on the sofa to make some room for him and tugged him up by the shoulders. “Hey, why don’t you sit here and tell me about it, yeah?”

He followed her direction and then wrapped his arm around her shoulders, bringing her close again. “Can we have a cuddle?”

“Course we can,” she smiled gently, snuggling into him. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”

He narrated the day’s events, and she held him tight as he composed himself, and they fell asleep cuddled together on the sofa an hour later.

The Doctor was the first to awaken, shaken from the nightmare he’d had about his mind being taken over by that – whatever it was. He shuddered and sat up, slowly untangling himself from Rose’s arms. He went to the kitchen and chugged down several glasses of water, trying to calm down his racing thoughts and racing hearts.

When Rose found him a few minutes later, sitting on the floor of the kitchen with his head against the cupboards, eyes squeezed tightly shut, she knew she had to tread carefully. Slowly, she sank down onto the floor next to him, and moved the glass he was holding out of his firm grip, placing it on the other side of her.

“Doctor,” she whispered, letting his fingers curl around hers in place of the glass. “Doctor, do you remember what we did after Cassandra possessed my mind?”

He frowned, curious as to why she was bringing it up. “When I helped you build up your telepathic barriers?” he asked quietly, opening his eyes and turning his head to face her.

“Yeah. Well, it wasn’t just that, was it? I had a horrendous headache, and it soothed it – the telepathy thing you did.”

It dawned on him what she was suggesting. “Are you asking if I’d like to do that now, because of the – whatever it was – that happened on Midnight?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” He bit his lip, considering what to say, considering whether to lie or not. “I’m not – it’s not too bad, you know. The headache’s wearing off -”

“But the trauma of it, Doctor,” Rose protested, “Jesus, it’s been hours and your hands are still shaking; if you need me to help you in that way, I really don’t mind.”

“But you always said that it was a one-off, me going in your head that time. Just to heal you.”

“Yeah, but now you need healing. And if my presence in your head, even just for a few minutes, can help with that, then I want to do it.”

“Really? You’d do that for me?” He squeezed her hand.

“Of course I would.” She paused. “Unless you’d rather ask Donna or Martha instead, I mean, I didn’t think of that until just then, I s’pose you could…ask them. But seeing as I already know what it’s like and what to do, it’d be easier with me, wouldn’t it? So…”

“Are you sure, Rose?”

“Yes!” she insisted with a laugh. “Honestly, would I offer if I wasn’t?”

“Okay, right, well.” He tugged on his ear. “It might be nice. So, yes. Thank you.”

"Come on, let’s go upstairs."

"What? Why?"

"I’ve got a crick in my neck from sleeping on the sofa half the night." She tugged him up with her, leading him through the house. "Let’s get comfy whilst we do this and after, we can go back to sleep."

"In…your bed."

"Yes."

"Okay. If - if you’re sure."

"You’re exhausted, and so am I. I have the most amazing memory foam mattress. It’ll be the best night’s sleep you’ve ever had, promise. So yes, I’m sure."

They reached Rose’s bedroom, and she took a few moments to slip into her pjs, not feeling at all shy in doing so in front of the Doctor - not really registering there was anything unusual, these days, in getting undressed with him in the room. When she glanced at him, though, she realised. He was staring. _Gaping._

"Oh," she murmured, biting her lip as she hurriedly pulled her pyjama top on over her head, covering herself up. "Sorry."

"No apology necessary," he gulped, meeting her gaze. "None whatsoever. In fact, I’m sorry. I should’ve…averted my eyes.”

She raised her eyebrows as she undid her ponytail, raking her fingers through her hair a bit to ease it down. “Must be weird for you, seeing me like this after all these months.”

"Oh. Well, it’s - it’s -"

"I just mean, my body’s changed a lot. Since you last…um. Anyway."

"Yes."

She smiled, ignoring her flushed cheeks, ignoring _his_ flushed cheeks, and sat down beside him on the bed. “Let’s do it, then.”

"S-sorry?" he squeaked.

Rose gave him a funny look. “The telepathy thing.”

"Ohhh, right. That."

"You still want to, right? I don’t want you to do it if you’re not sure, or if you think I’d be invading your privacy or something."

"Rose, there’s no one I’d trust more to be inside my head. No other mind I’d rather touch than yours."

Laughing, she told him, “That sounds a bit dirty, actually.”

"Rose."

"Sorry." She grinned. "Don’t mean to insult your peoples’…talents. Can I ask a question, though?"

"Yes."

“ _Can_ it be used like that? Telepathy?”

"Like what?" he retorted, astonished.

"Like…in a sexy way."

His mouth opened and closed like a fish. “I…Rose, I’m not really of the right frame of mind right now to - “

Rose burst out laughing in embarrassment. “No! Not now! Oh god,” she continued to laugh, unable to help herself. “You really think I’d ask for - for _mind sex_ at a time like this?”

The Doctor wrinkled his nose. “‘Mind sex?’”

"Well, I don’t know what you call it! I was just wondering, that’s all. Given that it’s…intimate, for you." She sobered, then, remembering who had been in his head since she last had been.

"It is intimate, yes. And I’m fairly certain that it’s been used as a way to communicate…certain types of thoughts to one another before, yes. I’ve not - I haven’t tried it myself."

"Right. That’s…that’s good."

"It is?"

"Yeah." Rose fiddled with the hem of her pyjama top, looking at him through her lashes. "I don’t know, maybe it’s something that you and me could try. One day. Not tonight! Not soon, either, really. But…" She let out a shaky breath. "Someday?"

The Doctor’s lips twitched. “What happened to you being all ‘you can only go in my mind as a last resort’ and ‘it’s really creepy’ and ‘I don’t want anyone but me seeing my thoughts, thanks.’”

"That - that was -" she blustered, waving her hands around. "That was _different._ We weren’t together, then.”

"We’re not ‘together’ now," he pointed out.

"No, but we will be. Won’t we? One day."

He smiled properly now. “Yes. I hope so.”

"And anyway…I know more about it, now. I know how to shield my thoughts and stuff. I know how to let you see only what I want you to see."

"That sounds fairly ominous," the Doctor chuckled.

"Everyone thinks up weird shit they don’t want other people seeing at some point, right? And take that look off your face, I don’t mean weird sex stuff! I just mean, like, I don’t know…coming up with music videos in your head, stupid stuff like that."

"Music videos?"

"Yeah, you know, like imagining how you’d sing a song, what the video would be like, how you’d arrange the stage, what you’d wear…"

"I can safely say it’s only you with delusions of becoming a pop star, Rose Tyler."

Rose snorted. “Yeah, right. You telling me that time you played Guitar Hero with Mickey you weren’t pretending to be a rock god?”

He sniffed. “Touché.”

“Anyway,” she continued, reaching her hand out to squeeze his. “How are you feeling?”

"A bit better. You and your nonsense has that effect."

"Nonsense?"

"Wonderful nonsense. Distracting nonsense."

"Hm, okay," she replied, narrowing her eyes at him playfully. "You ready?"

"Yep. You?"

She exhaled slowly. “Yeah.”

The Doctor placed his fingers on her temples and sought out the comforting embrace of her mind. This brief contact was enough for the connection to be mutual, and soon he could feel her presence inside his head, warm and loving and soothing his frazzled neurons. He couldn’t help but smile. Rose still remembered what he’d taught her months and months ago; how to politely knock on doors and be welcomed in, how to minimise the amount of emotion she transferred in order to prevent disorientation at the intensity, how to whisper to him with her thoughts.

Considering she wasn’t a Time Lord, she was wonderful at it. A natural. And she hadn’t even had much practice! Still, being pregnant with a half-Gallifreyan probably helped enhance the connection. Being pregnant with _his child_ , especially so. He swallowed against the lump in his throat. She was so perfect for him. So bloody good at knowing what he needed, instinctively.

When he started to feel a bit overwhelmed, he eased off, withdrawing, letting the telepathic connection fade gently away. Eyes still closed, he pressed his forehead to hers, feeling the last lingering tingle of the intimacy they’d just shared, before pulling away physically, too. His eyes flickered open to find hers already staring at him, her concern palpable.

"All right?" she murmured.

"Yes." His voice sounded croaky. He cleared his throat. "Yes. Thank you."

"You’re welcome." She smiled at him carefully. "I did it right?"

"You were wonderful."

She shrugged. “I dunno, I just…just wanted to comfort you.”

"You did." He lifted his hand, cupping her cheek, his thumb stroking lightly beneath her eye. "I’m so lucky to have you."

"The others would have done the same - Martha and Donna would be just as - "

"No, it’s different though."

"Why?"

His hand dropped from her cheek and travelled down, stroking her shoulder, her arm, her wrist. He linked their hands together. “We’ve already established a connection, for one thing. So it was just what I needed; like being welcomed home.”

"Doctor…"

"For another, your connection with this little one has boosted your capacity a bit," he continued, his free hand settling on her bump."

"Oh, right, course. Didn’t think of that." She bit her lip.

"And, I mean. There’s nothing quite like it, is there?"

"Like what?"

"Well. There’s specific forms of comfort you only really want from certain people, comfort you can only get from certain people. A mother’s cuddle. A hug from a close friend, and their shoulder to cry on. A kiss from - well, you know. And that, what we just did, that with you - it could only ever be like that with you.”

"Because - because you love me," she whispered.

Voice shaky but eyes intense, he replied, “Yes. Because I love you.”

"Romantically."

"Yeah," he exhaled.

Rose disentangled their hands so that she could pull him closer to her by his jacket lapels. She kissed him softly on the lips, then released him. “Let’s get some sleep.”

He nodded.

"There are some pjs for you in the bottom drawer over there," she said, trying to sound casual. "If you want."

A smile lit up his face.

"What?" she mumbled, shrugging a shoulder. "Just got them in case you had to stay over one night. It’s no big deal."

"Okay," he replied, still grinning. He got up to fetch them. "Are you gonna watch?" he asked, when she continued to look at him as he shrugged off his jacket.

"You did," she pointed out, tongue touching the corner of her mouth as she smiled.

"That’s because I was in shock."

"Right…"

They grinned at each other while he unbuttoned his shirt.

When he was finally dressed in his new pjs, after deliberately taking a long time about it, he crawled beneath the duvet with her. As he cuddled up behind her, burying his face in the back of her neck, he heard her murmur, “How are you feeling?”

He wrapped his arm around her waist and murmured back, “Better. Much better. Thank you.”

"You’re welcome. I hope you sleep okay."

"I’m sure I will. I always sleep better when you’re around."

She laughed softly. “You’re so sappy.”

"It’s true, though."

"Night, Doctor."

He kissed her shoulder. “Goodnight.”


	23. Chapter 23

“A party?” Rose said, wrinkling her nose. “What for?”

“To celebrate!”

“Celebrate…?” she prompted, balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder as she continued folding the washing.

“Life, of course! The wonders of life! All sorts of life – but primarily new life. It’s a brilliant thing, new life.”

“Doctor, are you drunk?”

“No. Nope. Listen, Donna and Martha came up with the idea after we visited Shonda the other night. They have this festival thing they celebrate there whenever a member of their community is about to have a baby.”

“Right.”

“And they thought we could do something similar for you!”

“You sound very excited about it - ”

“Yep!”

“And I really don’t want to burst your bubble - ”

“Oh, no. Don’t give me a ‘but’ - ”

“But I’m exhausted, Doctor. I can’t be dealing with planning and hosting a party right now.”

“Nah, don’t be silly, we’ll leave all the planning and preparing to Martha and Donna.”

Rose laughed. “I’m sure they’ll love that,” she said sarcastically. She took a proper hold of the phone again and sank down into her armchair, curling her legs underneath her to continue their conversation.

“They would!” he insisted. “In fact, they offered! And they’ve already invited your Mum and Mickey, so - ”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, can’t back out now. It’ll be great fun, Rose, I promise. Just a few nibbles and a bit of dancing.”

“There’s no way I can summon the strength to dance at the moment.”

There was a pause. Both of them inadvertently thought of other times they had danced together – and the times that had led to, well, _dancing_ together.

Rose cleared her throat. “Anyway.”

“Mm.”

“I s’pose if it’s just a little get-together…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’ll be nice, actually, us all being here at the same time for once. Mum’s been on about inviting you three and Mickey over for dinner at hers, but I’m sure she’d much rather come to this than have to cook for everyone.”

“Aha, there’s another top-notch reason for this do, then - ”

“Doctor, you can’t fool me, you admitted just the other day how much you love Mum’s cooking.”

“Only because Jackie made me! The _traitor,_ ” he grumbled.

Rose laughed. “Anyway, I’d better go. I’m meeting someone for lunch, and I’m already running a bit late.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah - ”

“Who, uh, who are you meeting?” He paused. “If you don’t mind me asking, of course.”

Rose smiled knowingly. “I’m meeting up with Sarah Jane, actually.”

“Really?”

“You sound surprised.”

“That’s because I am.”

“We’ve been chatting on the phone a lot recently,” Rose explained.

“And does she know about the situation?”

“Well I could hardly show up looking this pregnant and not have forewarned her, could I? Course she knows.”

“No but I mean, about us?”

“What, that we’re not…”

“That we’re…”

“She knows,” Rose confirmed.

“Ah.”

“When’s this party thing gonna happen, anyway? I’ll let her know, too, see if she wants to come along.”

“How about Friday evening?”

“Sure. Right, I’d really better go.”

“Okay. And, er. Say hello to Sarah for me.”

“Will do.”

“Bye, Rose. Talk to you soon.”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Bye Doctor.”

::

When she arrived at the restaurant she was meeting Sarah Jane in, Rose looked around, feeling a bit nervous. Her friend had been incredibly understanding and supportive over the phone, but this was their first time meeting in person since the ordeal with the Krillitanes.

"Over here, Rose," Sarah Jane called out, waving her over to a table by the window.

Rose smiled widely, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. “Hey! It’s good to see you!”

Sarah Jane smiled back, standing up to give Rose a hug. She paused, evidently realising that with Rose’s bump in the way, that would be marginally more difficult than usual.

"Gosh, you’re so…" Her eyes widened and she floundered for the right - polite - word.

Rose laughed, shaking her head. “It’s fine, you can say it - I’m _huge.”_

They sat down at the table, and a waiter was immediately upon them to take their drinks order.

"Just water for me, thanks."

"Would it be rubbing your face in it if I ordered some wine, Rose?" Sarah Jane asked, a sheepish expression on her face.

"No, don’t be daft, go ahead!"

As the waiter left to get their drinks, they just looked at each other for a few moments.

"So…" They both started speaking at the same time, and Sarah Jane hurried to add, "No, please, you go first."

Rose fiddled with her earring. “Right. Ha, this is a bit awkward, isn’t it?”

"It doesn’t have to be," Sarah Jane said kindly.

"Thanks, yeah. So, um. Obviously, as we spoke about on the phone - and as you can see - " Rose paused, patting her belly. "- this was quite a surprise."

"But you look very well. Very happy," Sarah Jane said. "Pregnancy suits you."

"Dunno about that. Some days I just wish the baby would be here already. But then, at the same time, I’m so scared, so sometimes I feel like I could be pregnant for another year and not feel ready enough to be a mum. You know?"

Sarah Jane chuckled. “Yes. I actually - I’ve just adopted a boy. It’s a little different; he’s a teenager already so I won’t have to deal with all the stuff you’ve got coming. But it’s been quite tough, being thrust into something I never thought I would do.”

"What’s his name?"

"Luke." Sarah Jane’s eyes drifted to the window. "He’s a lovely boy. Quite the genius." She looked back to Rose. "Yours probably will be too, with the Doctor’s genes."

"Yeah. Reckon I’m barely gonna be able to keep up."

"I’m sure you’ll be fine. Speaking of the Doctor - how’s he been, lately? You said before that you weren’t sure how he felt, about the baby."

"Actually, he - "

The waiter came by, dropping off their drinks, and Rose realised she hadn’t even looked at the menu yet. She picked something at random, and Sarah Jane ordered a salad, and then, with the waiter gone again, she returned to her friend’s question.

"He’s been great lately. I actually think he’s excited. _Really_ excited. Him! The Doctor! Excited about being a dad. Who would have thought?”

Sarah Jane took a sip of her wine. “I’m so pleased for you. And relieved. I must admit, when you first told me you were pregnant and living back here on Earth, I was so worried he’d just run away from his responsibilities. I’m glad I won’t have to tell him off. That is, if I ever see him. That’s a point - I might have to get you to tell him off, from me, about never visiting.”

"Oh, that reminds me!" Rose said, slapping the table as she remembered. "The Doctor wants you to come along to a little party he’s getting his friends to throw me on Friday. At my house - you’ve got my address already, right?"

Sarah Jane nodded. “A party? What sort of party?”

"I don’t know - like, a baby shower type thing, I guess? He rang me this morning about it. Sounded very eager. To be honest, I think he might’ve been a bit drunk. Or maybe he’d eaten one of those boxes of sugary biscuits from Urban Seven. He got addicted to them for about three weeks several months ago. It was like dealing with a toddler. Exhausting! I had to wean him off them."

Laughing, Sarah Jane replied, “Well, I’d love to come.”

"Great!"

::

The party was actually a pretty good idea of Martha and Donna’s, Rose conceded, as she watched her friends and family chatting happily with one another on Friday evening. Her lunch with Sarah Jane the other day had been lovely, and upon introducing her to the rest of the group tonight, it was clear that the women (and Mickey) were all going to get along.

The only person missing was the Doctor. She didn’t know where he was; when she’d asked Donna, all she’d received in answer was a shrug. Taking a break from conversing with her friends, Rose wandered over to the dining table, peering at the small pile of gifts. She wanted to open them, but she reckoned she ought to wait for the Doctor, too. They were presents for their baby, after all.

It was then that she looked up and spotted the Doctor poking his head around the doorframe. He made a gesture for her to go over to him.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, as Rose stepped into the hallway. “Had a bit of trouble with the dermo-angular capacitor under the console.”

“Liar,” teased Rose, reaching behind him and grabbing the gift bag he was holding behind his back. “You just nipped out to get me a pressie, didn’t you? Bet you saw that them lot had got us gifts and panicked.”

He grinned and let her have the gift bag, taking in her dark purple dress and curled hair. “You get more gorgeous every time I see you.”

Rose fought back a smile. “Now I _know_ you’re lying. What’s this, anyway?” she asked, shaking the bag.

“Just look inside and you’ll find out,” he replied, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“Yeah but why have you got me something in the first place? Thought this whole thing was for the baby, really,” she said, as she began opening it up. Inside was a long, rectangular box. She took it out of the bag and examined it curiously.

The Doctor tugged on his earlobe. “Ah, well, you see, that celebration on Shonda that I told you about? Well, it’s a tradition amongst their people for the – for the father to get the mother a little something before the big event.”

“Big event?”

“Giving birth,” he clarified.

“That’s not gonna be for a good few weeks at least, you said,” she pointed out.

“I just…I wanted you to have it now, anyway. Considering we’re doing the party thing tonight and everything.”

“Oh. Well, thanks,” she said, smiling.

“Open it, then.”

Rose laughed. “Right, yeah, sorry.” She undid the clasp on the box.

Her breath hitched. Inside lay a beautiful silver necklace with a delicate leaf-shaped pendant. She traced her finger along it. “I don’t understand.” She looked up at him. “It’s lovely. Doctor, it’s really lovely. Thank you. But why…?”

The Doctor coughed, scratching at the back of his neck. “It’s, er. Well, you see, on Gallifrey, we had these trees - ” He paused, growing flustered. “It’s silly, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you like it. Do you?”

"I just said," she laughed, resting her hand on his arm, giving it a comforting squeeze. "It’s lovely. Help me put it on?"

He took it from her and she turned around, lifting her hair so that he could put it around her neck. His fingers fumbled with the clasp for a few moments, but eventually he managed to do it up, and she turned, her bump pressing against his stomach.

"I really want to hug you," she said, with a sigh. "But this little one keeps getting in the way with that lately."

The Doctor smiled, taking her hands in his. “It won’t be long. The rest of the pregnancy will fly by, just you wait.”

His thumbs stroked the backs of her hands, and soon ten seconds ticked by where she just gazed at him, goosebumps rising all along her arms.

"We should get back to the others," she said quietly, drawing her hands back. She adjusted her dress, smoothing the fabric at her sides. The Doctor’s eyes followed the movement.

"Yes," he replied absently. "The others. Did Sarah Jane come?"

"She did. Everyone’s in the living room." She frowned. "Wait, what is it? You look nervous."

She watched as he visibly swallowed. “I’m not nervous. Just a little…apprehensive.”

Rose raised her eyebrows. “She’s not going to have a go at you.”

"I know."

"She’s happy for us, Doctor."

"She’s happy for you," he countered. "She probably thinks I’ve been terribly irresponsible."

"Well, you sort of have been," Rose replied. He glared at her. "What? You were! But so was I. Anyway, this one might’ve been an accident - " She picked up his hand and placed it on her stomach. " - but now? Wouldn’t change it for anything."

The baby kicked, then, right against the Doctor’s palm. His eyes grew suspiciously wet, and Rose grinned. “It’s okay. I get a bit emotional too, when the baby does that.”

The Doctor sniffed. “I’m not emotional.”

"Yeah you are. And I love it."

He rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the small, content smile that came to his face with her words. Sliding his arm around her shoulders, he steered her towards the living room. “Come on, let’s go and make sure Jackie hasn’t spiked the punch.”

"Why would Mum spike the punch?"

"Well, she did it at New Year’s. Wouldn’t put it past her to do it again."

"You’re just resentful ‘cos she used your best rum."

"Quite rightly! Asordian rum is like no other, and it’s incredibly hard to get hold of these days." He tutted. "And to think the last of my supply was wasted on an already-inebriated Jackie Tyler."

::

Rose escaped to the kitchen at around ten, needing a cup of tea. The party was a lot of fun, but she was exhausted, and to be honest, she sort of wanted her friends to leave soon so that she could get into her pyjamas and head to bed.

As she stood waiting for the kettle to boil, she heard someone creep up behind her. Smiling wide, expecting it to be the Doctor, she waited, hoping he’d wind his arms around her from behind and let her lean against him.

Instead, Mickey said, “Boo!” and nudged her with his elbow. “You all right?”

She let out a little laugh, and linked her arm through his. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit tired. You enjoying yourself?”

"Yeah, I am actually," he said, sounding surprised. "Martha’s - her and Donna are really nice."

"Yeah, they’re great."

"They sound like they’re having a lot of fun, on board the TARDIS."

"Yep."

"You okay with that?"

"Course. I’ve always known he needs people travelling with him. And they suit that life so well, I can’t begrudge them."

"Still…"

"Yeah, all right, I’m a bit jealous," she admitted, resting her head against Mickey’s shoulder. "But once the baby is born, things’ll be different."

"Right."

The kettle clicked off and Rose went to pour the water into her mug, but Mickey beat her to it.

"You want one, too?" she asked.

"Nah, I’m good with the beer."

"Course you are," she laughed. She let go of him to get the milk from the fridge, whilst he spooned in some sugar. "Ta," she said, when he finished making it for her and handed it over.

She leant against the counter and Mickey did the same, and when she looked up, she realised the Doctor was standing in the doorway. Mickey noticed him too, then, and chuckled under his breath.

"I’ll see you later," he said, leaving the room, nodding to the Doctor as he left.

"Everything okay?" Rose asked.

"Fine, yeah. Just wanted to check you were having a nice time." He came over to her, standing in the same space Mickey had just occupied, but resting his arm along the counter behind her back.

She touched her necklace with her free hand, fiddling with the pendant absently. “I am. Thanks for suggesting this, Doctor. It’s been good, having everyone together for a change.”

"I agree," he replied, letting out a long breath. He inched towards her a bit more, and she felt the sleeve of his jacket brush her dress as his arm curved around her back. "This all right?" he murmured, as he settled his hand on her hip.

Rose nodded. “Mmhmm.” Taking a sip of her tea, she tried to pretend she hadn’t just squeaked her response at him.

"It will be," he murmured suddenly.

She looked up at him. “What?”

"It will be different, when the baby’s born." He pulled on his ear with his free hand. "I heard what you and Mickey were saying, just now."

"Ah."

"I, er." He cleared his throat. "I just want you to know that I can’t wait. To be with you all the time again, I mean."

Rose leant into him, sighing softly. “I miss you too, Doctor.”

Dropping a kiss to the top of her head, he nuzzled her hair. “Do you want me to tell the others to go?”

"Hmm?"

"It’s getting late."

"Oh, right. Yeah. Could you? They won’t mind, will they?"

"Course they won’t." He kissed her hair again and moved away from her, walking backwards out of the kitchen. "I’ll get rid of them. And then - can I stay, just for a bit longer?"

Rose bit her lip, nodding. “Yeah, I’d like that.”


	24. Chapter 24

Once everyone had left apart from the Doctor, Rose flopped down on the sofa.

“It’s not quite bedtime for you yet, Rose Tyler,” the Doctor said, as he came back into the sitting room with a glass of water for her and a glass of wine for himself.

She failed to stifle her yawn, but sat up and took her drink obligingly. “Why’s that, then?”

“Got another Shondarian tradition to do.”

Rose laughed. “You really took a shine to their culture, didn’t you?”

“Well, when it comes to this particular festival and its accompanying traditions, yeah. It’s a marvellous idea.”

“All right, then, let’s hear the next thing on your list.”

“Well, it’s really very simple.”

“Yeah?” She sipped at her water for a few moments, watching him watch her, then put her glass on the coffee table. “What is it, then?”

“It’s just a dance.”

“A dance?”

“Yeah. I’ll give you another present if you give it a go.” 

Her eyebrows lifted. “What sort of present?”

“A new ice cream flavour I’ve sought out for you.“

Rose was very tempted. “Hmm…okay, so what sort of dance?”

“Any sort of dance you like. In their tradition it’s always a two-person, waltz-type dance.”

“And we should do this because…?” she prompted.

“Well, you are rather good at dancing. Remember when we were at that party for the Empress on Santiafar? They practically salivated over your energetic jive…mind you, you were wearing something that left little to the imagination that night. Bet you could still show them lot some moves, especially if you put that dress back on.” He waggled his eyebrows.

“Well it _was_ a very jive-friendly dress.” Rose laughed softly, before adding, “Surprised you still think of me like that, what with me being the size of a boat now and everything.”

He gasped and grabbed her hand, jumping up from the sofa and tugging her up with him. “The size of a boat?” he spluttered. “I’d never call you such a thing.” He positioned his hands, one holding hers up, one on her waist, as though they were to begin a waltz. “That would be incredibly insensitive. This music isn’t really suited to jiving, unfortunately, but we can still -”

“You might be thinking it though,” she pointed out, interrupting him as she arched an eyebrow.

He shook his head, and slowly started guiding her to the music, the baby bump somewhat obstructing their ability to dance together properly - not that they minded. “Rose, the thought never crossed my mind. You look beautiful.”

“Stop it,” she murmured.

“Stop what?”

“Being all charming. We’re just…very close friends right now, remember?”

He nodded and sniffed knowingly. “Yes, yes. Friends. Who happened to conceive a child together.”

“Mmhmm,” she agreed, and laughed when he frowned.

“Rose…”

“Yes?”

He twirled her in a circle and caught her as she spun back in, bringing her as close as her belly would allow. “I know you don’t - ” He swallowed hard, and slowed their dance to a gentle rocking back and forth. “ - feel quite the same as you once did. About me. But I just want you to know that – that, well. I’ll always be here for you and the baby. Always. Anything you want or need or – well, whatever. And listen, I’m not – I’m not saying this to put pressure on you or anything like that at _all_ , I just, I just need to say this, yeah? Just let me say it. Because I need you to know; when you’re ready - whenever that may be - all you have to do is say the word.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. And I want to be ready right now, really - I do. But we’ve changed so much, Doctor, and once we have this baby, things’ll change even more. I don’t want you making promises you can’t keep - ”

“Rose, I love you and this baby more than anything in the universe,” he interrupted softly, dropping one of his hands to the curve of her stomach. “It’s not about keeping or breaking promises. It’s about me wanting to spend the rest of my life - ” he broke off, the words lodged in his throat as he faltered, realising his mistake, realising he had to correct himself, even though the alternative words hurt to even contemplate, “The rest of your life with you.”

Rose nibbled her bottom lip for a moment, then nodded. “I believe you. I need a bit more time, that’s all. I’m so nervous about becoming a _mum_ , I just need to focus on that right now. Yeah?”

He smiled, a slow, hopeful thing that set her heart beating faster. “Yes.” He leant forwards and gave her a quick, chaste peck on the cheek, then released her from his arms, taking her hand instead.

“For the moment, I believe you said we were going to have ice cream,” she grinned expectantly, as she let him lead her into the kitchen.

“Aha! Yes! As I mentioned, I found another flavour that you are going to _adore…”_

::

Later that night in bed, once the Doctor had finally left to let Rose get some sleep, she kept going over their evening in her head.

She thought about the way he’d danced with her. And seen _her_ , all night, not just the baby bump. Because, god, she was thrilled that he was so loving in his words about the baby, and in the small little touches to her belly he would make, confirming that he did want this child, would be there for them, would be a brilliant dad. But somewhere along the way Rose had been scared that soon, it would be all he saw in her; Rose-as-mother. 

And she felt ridiculously selfish for worrying about that, because wasn’t it a good thing, that he wanted to make things right so that he could be the dad the baby deserved, be the dad he should’ve been centuries ago to his first child? Yet, there was this lingering doubt, as she grew bigger and bigger and as the due date loomed ever closer, that in the end, he’d realise it was the baby he wanted, not her. The thing that was part-Gallifreyan, part of his lineage and home and _life._

No matter how many times he had reassured her, with a smile or a kiss, even, that he still found her attractive, Rose had kept on wondering if he was only interested in repairing their relationship for the sake of their child. But she realised that night, lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, that she’d been foolish for thinking that.

Her minded flitted over all those moments over the last few months, when he had been so sincere in his compliments, so attentive and careful in his actions. They’d had their ups and downs, still, of course, but she realised now that he meant it when he said he was sorry, and he meant it when he said he would wait for her to be ready. He wanted to be with her again. With her, not just the baby. He loved her.

Rose sat up straight. He really, properly loved her.

It wasn’t that this was a shocking revelation, as such. She’d always known, deep down, that he did. Of course she knew. He’d even told her so. And just the other night, when he’d slept in her bed with her - he’d told her then, and he’d meant it. But for some reason, it was lying there in bed alone, tonight, that made her realise the depth of it, the certainty of it.

Getting out of bed, Rose stumbled her way over to her window, looking out to see if the TARDIS was still there in the garden. But it wasn’t; she must have missed the sound of it dematerialising earlier. Suddenly desperate to talk to him, even though she’d only said goodbye barely forty minutes ago, she scrambled for her phone and dialled the TARDIS’ number.

But after five tries with no one answering, she gave up, frowning in confusion. She tried the number for the Doctor’s mobile, the one she made him have on him at all times – the one which he answered straight away if she rang, because he knew it would be something urgent. Like that time with Elton breaking into her house, or when she’d taken a tumble down the patio steps and was worried she’d hurt the baby.

The Doctor, however, did not answer his phone this time. Rose sniffed suspiciously, but tried again. Still no answer. And a third time. No answer.

She didn’t want to be paranoid about it or anything, but this _was_ a little unusual. That time when she’d rung to say she’d fallen over, he’d answered instantly even though he was running away from an Emperor’s guards at the time.

And fine, so this time she wasn’t in danger and there was no real emergency, but – he wouldn’t know that. If he heard her ringing, he would answer it, because he would think the worst; that was just in his nature.

She quickly realised it was probably in her nature, too, because suddenly she was conjuring up all sorts of gruesome reasons as to why neither he nor their friends were answering any of their _goddamn_ phones. She tried each of the phones in turn again, but even Donna and Martha’s went straight to voicemail.

Rose tried not to panic, she really did. But before she knew it she was pacing the floor of her bedroom. All she wanted to do was tell him she loved him back. That was all she needed to do. Because he’d said it, earlier, and she hadn’t. She hadn’t said it back. And she hadn’t said it back the other night, either. And she needed to, really needed to, now, because what if he was hurt, what if he was _dying_ and he didn’t know? What if he thought –

And he’d said, hadn’t he, earlier that evening, that he knew she didn’t feel about him the same way she had done, which was wrong, he was wrong, and he needed to know that. She’d thought he knew that. Thought that helping him the other night, comforting him telepathically, was enough to tell him. But maybe he was still unsure, maybe he didn’t - Jesus, she had to tell him. What if he – what if he died not _knowing_ –

Rose realised she was started to hyperventilate, and that nothing good would come of that. The baby was wildly kicking against her belly, evidently in distress too, and she knew she was probably projecting her anxiety through their link, and that she should _stop_ doing that, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t breathe.

She kept ringing and ringing, and he kept not answering, and then she rang Mickey and he picked up instantly. Sighing in relief, Rose rushed out, “The Doctor isn’t answering his phone, I think something’s happened and I don’t know what to do.”

“Rose, I’m sure he’s fine, he’s probably just taking down a corrupt government or something.”

“No, he would answer his phone, Mickey, he just would.”

“Stop panicking, babe, listen, it’s gonna be - ”

“I just – I can’t – I want – ”

“Do you want me to come over?”

“Can you?”

“Course I can.”

“Yes please,” she said, her voice quiet.

Mickey rushed to hers straight away. When he saw what a state she’d worked herself up in, he realised it was serious. He enveloped her in his arms and rocked her as she cried, and once she’d got that out of her system, she sniffed, wiped at her eyes, and said she’d make him a cup of tea.

He rolled his eyes, but followed her to the kitchen.


End file.
